Newish friend didn't remember my birthday

[Anonymous]

Women and birthdays

SMFH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

I am the PP who literally used the word “twinge” to describe the momentary sadness I have felt when close friends don’t acknowledge my birthday, so I’m with you there. Where we diverge is that I only feel that way about close friends (not friends of a year), and I don’t leap to the conclusion that the person who forgets doesn’t care about me at all.

People having different opinions and feelings is not “rude,” we just have a different take. You are painting me as being “judgmental” and “rude” because I have an opinion that is different from yours. Have you reflected on that? “Just wow” is not exactly being kind and open-minded, now is it?

Well PP, looks like you can dish it but can't take it. Some of the responses in here are over the top rude and aggressive like people are extremely offended OP dared to express an opinion they don't share and calling her all sorts of names. OP is just pointing it out but then you went off the deep end assuming you were the only one she was commenting on.

NP: As a long time reader of DCUM, the responses to this post were as predictable as the sun rising in the east. I'm not sure why the OP even bothered. There are ways to cultivate sympathy among posters; the OPs post was not it.

[Anonymous]

I understand OP feeling sad her new friend didn’t remember but to take it as far as posting and saying what she did is incredibly immature. The only people who would remember my birthday without FB informing them are my family and my old friends who knew me when I was a kid through college - you know, when birthdays were important. I don’t know any birthdays of people I met after college unless FB tells me. I don’t expect adult friends to celebrate my birthday unless I organize something. Your drama, OP, is very telling and I would stay far away from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

I am the PP who literally used the word “twinge” to describe the momentary sadness I have felt when close friends don’t acknowledge my birthday, so I’m with you there. Where we diverge is that I only feel that way about close friends (not friends of a year), and I don’t leap to the conclusion that the person who forgets doesn’t care about me at all.

People having different opinions and feelings is not “rude,” we just have a different take. You are painting me as being “judgmental” and “rude” because I have an opinion that is different from yours. Have you reflected on that? “Just wow” is not exactly being kind and open-minded, now is it?

Well PP, looks like you can dish it but can't take it. Some of the responses in here are over the top rude and aggressive like people are extremely offended OP dared to express an opinion they don't share and calling her all sorts of names. OP is just pointing it out but then you went off the deep end assuming you were the only one she was commenting on.

NP: As a long time reader of DCUM, the responses to this post were as predictable as the sun rising in the east. I'm not sure why the OP even bothered. There are ways to cultivate sympathy among posters; the OPs post was not it.

Everyone just takes a contrarian view. There's a new post now: "I hate birthday am AITA" and now the responses are "How selfish!" it's probably the same people crapping on OP here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand OP feeling sad her new friend didn’t remember but to take it as far as posting and saying what she did is incredibly immature. The only people who would remember my birthday without FB informing them are my family and my old friends who knew me when I was a kid through college - you know, when birthdays were important. I don’t know any birthdays of people I met after college unless FB tells me. I don’t expect adult friends to celebrate my birthday unless I organize something. Your drama, OP, is very telling and I would stay far away from you.

Responding so dramatically is in its own way ridiculous. Why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This year, I became close to a woman in a divorce support group I'm in. She lives near me and we just clicked and connected. We'd text and swap memes all the time, grab a drink on the weekend, and even went to a concert together. I'm pretty introverted and it's hard for me to open up beyond my longtime circle, and I felt, awesome, I made a friend.

It was a milestone birthday for me this week (40), and one I'd mentioned in passing to her a few times - she'd asked me what I was doing for it etc (and it was going to be a tough one for me because my kids were with their dad). Anyhow, I was really grateful to hear from lots of friends but she didn't acknowledge it on text, social media, anywhere (and she can see my "stories" so I knew she saw it). I know this sounds petty and I'm waiting for the "grow up, you're needy" people to descend, but it does hurt and I did think we were close and now I'm wondering if we are and if the birthday thing is overblown or if I should be sad or not expect we'll be friends or what. So here's my vulnerable post; tldr, a woman I thought was my friend forgot my bday.

She was embarrassed that you didn't invite her to your birthday party, so she didn't want to bring up your birthday.

You can fix this by inviting her out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

I am the PP who literally used the word “twinge” to describe the momentary sadness I have felt when close friends don’t acknowledge my birthday, so I’m with you there. Where we diverge is that I only feel that way about close friends (not friends of a year), and I don’t leap to the conclusion that the person who forgets doesn’t care about me at all.

People having different opinions and feelings is not “rude,” we just have a different take. You are painting me as being “judgmental” and “rude” because I have an opinion that is different from yours. Have you reflected on that? “Just wow” is not exactly being kind and open-minded, now is it?

No, other opinions are fine. Being accused of having BPD and being called a brat and told to get over oneself, however, is rude. You see?

[Anonymous]

40 isn't even a multiple of 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand OP feeling sad her new friend didn’t remember but to take it as far as posting and saying what she did is incredibly immature. The only people who would remember my birthday without FB informing them are my family and my old friends who knew me when I was a kid through college - you know, when birthdays were important. I don’t know any birthdays of people I met after college unless FB tells me. I don’t expect adult friends to celebrate my birthday unless I organize something. Your drama, OP, is very telling and I would stay far away from you.

What drama? Posting on a message board? You may need to revise your definition of "drama"...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

I am the PP who literally used the word “twinge” to describe the momentary sadness I have felt when close friends don’t acknowledge my birthday, so I’m with you there. Where we diverge is that I only feel that way about close friends (not friends of a year), and I don’t leap to the conclusion that the person who forgets doesn’t care about me at all.

People having different opinions and feelings is not “rude,” we just have a different take. You are painting me as being “judgmental” and “rude” because I have an opinion that is different from yours. Have you reflected on that? “Just wow” is not exactly being kind and open-minded, now is it?

Well PP, looks like you can dish it but can't take it. Some of the responses in here are over the top rude and aggressive like people are extremely offended OP dared to express an opinion they don't share and calling her all sorts of names. OP is just pointing it out but then you went off the deep end assuming you were the only one she was commenting on.

NP: As a long time reader of DCUM, the responses to this post were as predictable as the sun rising in the east. I'm not sure why the OP even bothered. There are ways to cultivate sympathy among posters; the OPs post was not it.

+1. OP even called it in her post! She knew she what she was going to get by posting this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

I am the PP who literally used the word “twinge” to describe the momentary sadness I have felt when close friends don’t acknowledge my birthday, so I’m with you there. Where we diverge is that I only feel that way about close friends (not friends of a year), and I don’t leap to the conclusion that the person who forgets doesn’t care about me at all.

People having different opinions and feelings is not “rude,” we just have a different take. You are painting me as being “judgmental” and “rude” because I have an opinion that is different from yours. Have you reflected on that? “Just wow” is not exactly being kind and open-minded, now is it?

Well PP, looks like you can dish it but can't take it. Some of the responses in here are over the top rude and aggressive like people are extremely offended OP dared to express an opinion they don't share and calling her all sorts of names. OP is just pointing it out but then you went off the deep end assuming you were the only one she was commenting on.

NP: As a long time reader of DCUM, the responses to this post were as predictable as the sun rising in the east. I'm not sure why the OP even bothered. There are ways to cultivate sympathy among posters; the OPs post was not it.

+1. OP even called it in her post! She knew she what she was going to get by posting this.

Which shows self-awareness, more than some of the meanies on this thread piling on! SMH

[Anonymous]

You’re an adult, OP.
Your birthdays don’t really matter. You need to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand OP feeling sad her new friend didn’t remember but to take it as far as posting and saying what she did is incredibly immature. The only people who would remember my birthday without FB informing them are my family and my old friends who knew me when I was a kid through college - you know, when birthdays were important. I don’t know any birthdays of people I met after college unless FB tells me. I don’t expect adult friends to celebrate my birthday unless I organize something. Your drama, OP, is very telling and I would stay far away from you.

What drama? Posting on a message board? You may need to revise your definition of "drama"...

Ending a friendship over the lack of a text from someone you didn’t invite to your birthday party is pretty dramatic and juvenile. It’s something 8 yr olds would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

I am the PP who literally used the word “twinge” to describe the momentary sadness I have felt when close friends don’t acknowledge my birthday, so I’m with you there. Where we diverge is that I only feel that way about close friends (not friends of a year), and I don’t leap to the conclusion that the person who forgets doesn’t care about me at all.

People having different opinions and feelings is not “rude,” we just have a different take. You are painting me as being “judgmental” and “rude” because I have an opinion that is different from yours. Have you reflected on that? “Just wow” is not exactly being kind and open-minded, now is it?

Well PP, looks like you can dish it but can't take it. Some of the responses in here are over the top rude and aggressive like people are extremely offended OP dared to express an opinion they don't share and calling her all sorts of names. OP is just pointing it out but then you went off the deep end assuming you were the only one she was commenting on.

NP: As a long time reader of DCUM, the responses to this post were as predictable as the sun rising in the east. I'm not sure why the OP even bothered. There are ways to cultivate sympathy among posters; the OPs post was not it.

+1. OP even called it in her post! She knew she what she was going to get by posting this.

Which shows self-awareness, more than some of the meanies on this thread piling on! SMH

Why post then? Because you think dcum is going to validate you? That usually doesn’t go well…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year, I became close to a woman in a divorce support group I'm in. She lives near me and we just clicked and connected. We'd text and swap memes all the time, grab a drink on the weekend, and even went to a concert together. I'm pretty introverted and it's hard for me to open up beyond my longtime circle, and I felt, awesome, I made a friend.

It was a milestone birthday for me this week (40), and one I'd mentioned in passing to her a few times - she'd asked me what I was doing for it etc (and it was going to be a tough one for me because my kids were with their dad). Anyhow, I was really grateful to hear from lots of friends but she didn't acknowledge it on text, social media, anywhere (and she can see my "stories" so I knew she saw it). I know this sounds petty and I'm waiting for the "grow up, you're needy" people to descend, but it does hurt and I did think we were close and now I'm wondering if we are and if the birthday thing is overblown or if I should be sad or not expect we'll be friends or what. So here's my vulnerable post; tldr, a woman I thought was my friend forgot my bday.

She was embarrassed that you didn't invite her to your birthday party, so she didn't want to bring up your birthday.

You can fix this by inviting her out.

Yes, OP, what did you do on your birthday? If you celebrated with other people but not your friend wouldn't she be the one who is hurt?