Newish friend didn't remember my birthday

[Anonymous]

I know a few people who get upset when people don't like their social media posts. I can not imagine saying that outloud, let alone feeling that way, let alone not understanding that not everyone puts the importance or priority on social media they they do. Not to mention that the algorithms may not even show your posts: even if they are frequent users. This just screams vanity, drama, and frankly, low intelligence to me.

MY GOD.

If anyone feels this way about me, please, do me a favor and drop me as a friend.

Grow up, OP.

[Anonymous]

How many friend texted you on your birthday? How many posted on social media?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a few people who get upset when people don't like their social media posts. I can not imagine saying that outloud, let alone feeling that way, let alone not understanding that not everyone puts the importance or priority on social media they they do. Not to mention that the algorithms may not even show your posts: even if they are frequent users. This just screams vanity, drama, and frankly, low intelligence to me.

MY GOD.

If anyone feels this way about me, please, do me a favor and drop me as a friend.

Grow up, OP.

Oh, dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

OP - sorry your feelings were hurt.

If it is any consolation - I forget to eg if birthdays and like it when people forget mine so I don’t feel guilty when o forget theirs.

Some of us just don’t care that much about birthdays except for our kids/ younger relatives.

But this was your 40th and your kids were with their dad So I can see how it might have made you feel unseen and vulnerable.

I hope you have a blast in your 40s!

[Anonymous]

I try to remember to acknowledge everyone’s birthday even though I don’t really care if you remember mine. I’m pleasantly surprised when people acknowledge it but don’t expect it. Just keep in mind that some people, like my SIL, possibly aren’t thrilled about milestone birthdays. Your friend may not have realized it mattered. Hopefully you can let it slide and continue to develop the friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

It's not just you. These people are weird AF. Being proud of not remembering your spouse's husband's birthday? Some of these people need to check in with their doctors because it may be early onset of dementia. It's probably the same nasty poster posting again and again because they forgot they already posted their nastiness. Ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're 40, not 4. Expecting others to care is highly immature and self centered. People have WAY too much to think about already, to remember random birthdays of friends.

No they don't. Most adults I know remember friends' birthdays and aren't "so overwhelmed" - they get thru the day fine.

Sounds like you're a SAHM or someone without a busy, stressful job. I remember family member's birthdays. Everyone else? Sorry, it's not a big deal. And I'm not remotely offended when people forget my birthday. Most people I know lead active, busy lives.

Wow. This post is all kinds of rude and insulting. Only SAHMs have time to remember birthdays? Or SAHM/birthdays are somehow trivial? Your post reeks of judgment. How sad that you think it's impossible to work and also be considerate. Part of having an active, busy life is remembering your friends. "Busy" isn't something to be proud of.

+1. What a sad and pathetic poster. I note down birthdays as soon as I hear of them, and make a point to send a HBD text every year. I also make $300k a year (my husband makes a lot more) and have a ton of help. I prefer living a calmer, more fulfilling and gracious life instead of rushing around all the time and forgetting everything.

[Anonymous]

It’s ok to be upset. Also, my 2 of my best friends forgot my birthday this year (one of them whose birthday is the day after mine!). People just don’t care as much as we get older. But I might have been sad if I didn’t have my family with me.

Maybe she was having really hard day and and just needed to isolate.

I doubt it’s really a reflection on you or the friendship that are building.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but adults celebrating birthdays and expecting acknowledgement of their birthdays and especially those being upset that someone didn't acknowledge their birthday is just absurd and childish.

And did YOU post on your own social media that it was your birthday so you could get likes and birthday wishes? That's incredibly immature. Even my teen nieces don't do that.

Lastly, it's not obvious in places like Facebook that it's someone's birthday. I only access FB through the app and it doesn't tell me when it's someone's birthday.

[Anonymous]

I only have a few friends and relatives who reliably remember year to year. My own dad hasn’t remembered my bday in years. I think you’re taking this too personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a few people who get upset when people don't like their social media posts. I can not imagine saying that outloud, let alone feeling that way, let alone not understanding that not everyone puts the importance or priority on social media they they do. Not to mention that the algorithms may not even show your posts: even if they are frequent users. This just screams vanity, drama, and frankly, low intelligence to me.

MY GOD.

If anyone feels this way about me, please, do me a favor and drop me as a friend.

Grow up, OP.

Agree and I'll go one step further. Everyone should get off social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

Eye roll. So you are always this dramatic. People have lives that don’t revolve around you and your special day, ending a friendship over that is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

I am the PP who literally used the word “twinge” to describe the momentary sadness I have felt when close friends don’t acknowledge my birthday, so I’m with you there. Where we diverge is that I only feel that way about close friends (not friends of a year), and I don’t leap to the conclusion that the person who forgets doesn’t care about me at all.

People having different opinions and feelings is not “rude,” we just have a different take. You are painting me as being “judgmental” and “rude” because I have an opinion that is different from yours. Have you reflected on that? “Just wow” is not exactly being kind and open-minded, now is it?

[Anonymous]

Lol, “the stuff of life.” Such drama!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP, and these responses are laughably rude. Wow. This board is really something. Not everyone is a stone-cold ice mannequin without feelings. I actually think feeling a twinge of sadness if someone forgets a birthday - or questioning a friendship - is the stuff of life. I posted a vulnerable question. The outsized judgmental, rude commentary here is ... just wow. I am really happy for the dozen or so of you who think birthdays are dumb or are too busy or proud or above it all to celebrate, but I do question what makes you respond with such anger anonymously. Yikes!

I am the PP who literally used the word “twinge” to describe the momentary sadness I have felt when close friends don’t acknowledge my birthday, so I’m with you there. Where we diverge is that I only feel that way about close friends (not friends of a year), and I don’t leap to the conclusion that the person who forgets doesn’t care about me at all.

People having different opinions and feelings is not “rude,” we just have a different take. You are painting me as being “judgmental” and “rude” because I have an opinion that is different from yours. Have you reflected on that? “Just wow” is not exactly being kind and open-minded, now is it?

Well PP, looks like you can dish it but can't take it. Some of the responses in here are over the top rude and aggressive like people are extremely offended OP dared to express an opinion they don't share and calling her all sorts of names. OP is just pointing it out but then you went off the deep end assuming you were the only one she was commenting on.