How much do we owe our parents?

[Anonymous]

I went no contact with my mom a few years ago. She was incredibly neglectful and exposed her children to years of physical and emotional abuse. I cannot have that in my life. If the hospital calls asking me to do something for her I will hang up.

Now my grandmother and grandfather I went to the ends of the earth for. They loved me and I felt great dedication to them. I cared for my grandfather in his home at the end of life.

I think that adult children owe caring parents a lot. I think abusive negligent parents are owed nothing.

[Anonymous]

Question for those who are quick to deride posters who won’t support their parents, regardless of past behavior.

If your child or best friend informed you that they were abused by their spouse, but finally had the courage to end the relationship, I assume you would support them. What if, just before or after leaving, that spouse was diagnosed with cancer? Would you advise your best friend or child to return to the spouse and provide physical and monetary support because they are obligated to do so based on the bonds on marriage? If not, how is refusing to physically or monetarily support neglectful or abusive parents any different? Remember these people were probably KIDS when they suffered abuse or neglect.