Do you drink alcohol while ToTing with your kids?

[Anonymous]

Yes. I’m just partaking in the festivities. Not getting drunk, but just one or maybe two drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not an alcoholic though.

What's it like in your black and white world?

It's great. I am capable of spending an hour walking my kid around the neighborhood and then enjoying a glass of wine at home, without needing to carry a little "mommy juice" around with me while I make a nice memory with my kid.

I'm sorry that you can't do normal parenting activities without alcohol. That sounds difficult.

Yikes, do you really need alcohol afterward? Can’t you just help your kids sort their candy and enjoy the night? It might be nice for them to see Mommy sober for once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not an alcoholic though.

What's it like in your black and white world?

It's great. I am capable of spending an hour walking my kid around the neighborhood and then enjoying a glass of wine at home, without needing to carry a little "mommy juice" around with me while I make a nice memory with my kid.

I'm sorry that you can't do normal parenting activities without alcohol. That sounds difficult.

So your kids are so awful that you need to find solace in a glass of wine at the end of the night after spending an hour with them? I am sorry you are such a bad parent that you can't take your kids ToTing without having to drink way your troubles with "mommy juice" at the end of the night.

I had the same thought! She’s still drinking yet trying to frame it in a way that makes her look superior. Gave me a good chuckle.

You both sound defensive. No one said drinking is wrong, but why do you need to drink WHILE trick or treating with your kids? What is so hard about walking around the neighborhood for a little while that you feel you need that?

Where does it say anyone NEEDS it? Why do you feel like it’s a problem if someone takes their kid and enjoys a beer at the same time? Why does everyone NEED to do it your way, or else be labeled an alcoholic?

Why are you so triggered by someone pointing out that alcohol is not a necessary component to this activity? Why are you so defensive, if your way of doing it is so self-evidently good?

#1 - I never drank when taking my kids ToTing.
#2 - you were not just pointing out that alcohol is not necessary. Your post was dripping with superiority, trying to imply that you were much better than those who chose to enjoy a beverage while their kids ToT. You are the defensive one.

[Anonymous]

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not an alcoholic though.

What's it like in your black and white world?

It's great. I am capable of spending an hour walking my kid around the neighborhood and then enjoying a glass of wine at home, without needing to carry a little "mommy juice" around with me while I make a nice memory with my kid.

I'm sorry that you can't do normal parenting activities without alcohol. That sounds difficult.

So your kids are so awful that you need to find solace in a glass of wine at the end of the night after spending an hour with them? I am sorry you are such a bad parent that you can't take your kids ToTing without having to drink way your troubles with "mommy juice" at the end of the night.

I had the same thought! She’s still drinking yet trying to frame it in a way that makes her look superior. Gave me a good chuckle.

You both sound defensive. No one said drinking is wrong, but why do you need to drink WHILE trick or treating with your kids? What is so hard about walking around the neighborhood for a little while that you feel you need that?

What are you prattling on about? Is understanding and logic this hard for you all the time? Nobody needs to drink, lady. Some people think it’s fun for a once a year event with friends and neighbors to have wine/a to go drink for the three or so hours they are out walking around. It’s festive. A festive thing. Nobody is drinking because it is “hard”. Are you always this obtuse? Life must be fun for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not an alcoholic though.

What's it like in your black and white world?

It's great. I am capable of spending an hour walking my kid around the neighborhood and then enjoying a glass of wine at home, without needing to carry a little "mommy juice" around with me while I make a nice memory with my kid.

I'm sorry that you can't do normal parenting activities without alcohol. That sounds difficult.

DP
You sound insufferable and judgmental. Glad you're so perfect.

Read the responses on this thread. There is a reason people are judgmental about it. Some parents turn Halloween, a children's event that often takes place on a weeknight, into an excuse to get trashed with their friends. It's weird. There's nothing wrong with drinking but this need some parents have to turn kid-centric events into an excuse to get drunk is a sign of a drinking problem. Sorry if that hits close to home for you.

I honestly think this attitude is part of why parenting in the U.S. is so much harder than it is in some other countries. We are slaves to our children and feel guilty when we don’t make things entirely about them. I legitimately don’t think it’s healthy for kids to live and see their parents living this way. It’s not really about alcohol but more about the idea that if you don’t make holidays and vacations entirely about children you’re a selfish, bad parent.

Have any of you ever spent Christmas in the UK? The whole season has more of a festive vibe because adults are allowed to enjoy it, go to pubs with friends, have parties and enjoy activities too. The season isn’t 100% about Santa and Christmas morning with children.

I say all this as a parent who only socially drinks sometimes. But I think it’s important to include kids in our real lives and not be so weird and puritanical about alcohol. Drinking does not have to mean getting drunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not an alcoholic though.

What's it like in your black and white world?

It's great. I am capable of spending an hour walking my kid around the neighborhood and then enjoying a glass of wine at home, without needing to carry a little "mommy juice" around with me while I make a nice memory with my kid.

I'm sorry that you can't do normal parenting activities without alcohol. That sounds difficult.

So your kids are so awful that you need to find solace in a glass of wine at the end of the night after spending an hour with them? I am sorry you are such a bad parent that you can't take your kids ToTing without having to drink way your troubles with "mommy juice" at the end of the night.

I had the same thought! She’s still drinking yet trying to frame it in a way that makes her look superior. Gave me a good chuckle.

You both sound defensive. No one said drinking is wrong, but why do you need to drink WHILE trick or treating with your kids? What is so hard about walking around the neighborhood for a little while that you feel you need that?

Where does it say anyone NEEDS it? Why do you feel like it’s a problem if someone takes their kid and enjoys a beer at the same time? Why does everyone NEED to do it your way, or else be labeled an alcoholic?

Why are you so triggered by someone pointing out that alcohol is not a necessary component to this activity? Why are you so defensive, if your way of doing it is so self-evidently good?

#1 - I never drank when taking my kids ToTing.
#2 - you were not just pointing out that alcohol is not necessary. Your post was dripping with superiority, trying to imply that you were much better than those who chose to enjoy a beverage while their kids ToT. You are the defensive one.

Actually, it just annoys me that adults in my neighborhood choose to turn Halloween into an alcohol-focused, adult-focused event, when it's for kids. There are tons of occasions where adults can get together and drink alcohol if they choose, I think it's weird that so many parents want to turn not just Halloween, but the main kid activation on halloween -- trick or treating -- into a boozy event. You could have a halloween party on the weekend, you could get together with parents after trick or treating is over. But people insist on making ToTing itself a boozy event.

I also think it sends a weird message to kids when you go trick or treating at a house and they are like "here's some candy kids! here's a jello shot parent!" It sends a strange message and I think reflects and unhealthy relationship with alcohol. But since ToTing is a community event, if you live in a neighborhood where a critical mass of parents are like this, no one cares if you think may be we should hold off on the drinking (or at least drinking jello shots, ffs) until the kids are done with their fun.

If my post is "dripping with superiority" then fine, I'm suprerior. I continue to think it's weird and not particularly healthy to make alcohol such a big part of Halloween for parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not an alcoholic though.

What's it like in your black and white world?

It's great. I am capable of spending an hour walking my kid around the neighborhood and then enjoying a glass of wine at home, without needing to carry a little "mommy juice" around with me while I make a nice memory with my kid.

I'm sorry that you can't do normal parenting activities without alcohol. That sounds difficult.

So your kids are so awful that you need to find solace in a glass of wine at the end of the night after spending an hour with them? I am sorry you are such a bad parent that you can't take your kids ToTing without having to drink way your troubles with "mommy juice" at the end of the night.

I had the same thought! She’s still drinking yet trying to frame it in a way that makes her look superior. Gave me a good chuckle.

You both sound defensive. No one said drinking is wrong, but why do you need to drink WHILE trick or treating with your kids? What is so hard about walking around the neighborhood for a little while that you feel you need that?

Where does it say anyone NEEDS it? Why do you feel like it’s a problem if someone takes their kid and enjoys a beer at the same time? Why does everyone NEED to do it your way, or else be labeled an alcoholic?

Why are you so triggered by someone pointing out that alcohol is not a necessary component to this activity? Why are you so defensive, if your way of doing it is so self-evidently good?

#1 - I never drank when taking my kids ToTing.
#2 - you were not just pointing out that alcohol is not necessary. Your post was dripping with superiority, trying to imply that you were much better than those who chose to enjoy a beverage while their kids ToT. You are the defensive one.

Actually, it just annoys me that adults in my neighborhood choose to turn Halloween into an alcohol-focused, adult-focused event, when it's for kids. There are tons of occasions where adults can get together and drink alcohol if they choose, I think it's weird that so many parents want to turn not just Halloween, but the main kid activation on halloween -- trick or treating -- into a boozy event. You could have a halloween party on the weekend, you could get together with parents after trick or treating is over. But people insist on making ToTing itself a boozy event.

I also think it sends a weird message to kids when you go trick or treating at a house and they are like "here's some candy kids! here's a jello shot parent!" It sends a strange message and I think reflects and unhealthy relationship with alcohol. But since ToTing is a community event, if you live in a neighborhood where a critical mass of parents are like this, no one cares if you think may be we should hold off on the drinking (or at least drinking jello shots, ffs) until the kids are done with their fun.

If my post is "dripping with superiority" then fine, I'm suprerior. I continue to think it's weird and not particularly healthy to make alcohol such a big part of Halloween for parents.

You’re a lot. Maybe stay home.

[Anonymous]

No, but I’m not a big drinker. Also Halloween is a lot going on and I want all my senses sharp in case of an emergency or having to drive.

Like if my kid falls off a retaining wall or something and breaks an arm and I have to drive to urgent care during trick or treating, I want to be 100% sober for that and I don’t want to have to rely on ride shares or anything. It’s a dangerous night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not an alcoholic though.

What's it like in your black and white world?

It's great. I am capable of spending an hour walking my kid around the neighborhood and then enjoying a glass of wine at home, without needing to carry a little "mommy juice" around with me while I make a nice memory with my kid.

I'm sorry that you can't do normal parenting activities without alcohol. That sounds difficult.

DP
You sound insufferable and judgmental. Glad you're so perfect.

Read the responses on this thread. There is a reason people are judgmental about it. Some parents turn Halloween, a children's event that often takes place on a weeknight, into an excuse to get trashed with their friends. It's weird. There's nothing wrong with drinking but this need some parents have to turn kid-centric events into an excuse to get drunk is a sign of a drinking problem. Sorry if that hits close to home for you.

I honestly think this attitude is part of why parenting in the U.S. is so much harder than it is in some other countries. We are slaves to our children and feel guilty when we don’t make things entirely about them. I legitimately don’t think it’s healthy for kids to live and see their parents living this way. It’s not really about alcohol but more about the idea that if you don’t make holidays and vacations entirely about children you’re a selfish, bad parent.

Have any of you ever spent Christmas in the UK? The whole season has more of a festive vibe because adults are allowed to enjoy it, go to pubs with friends, have parties and enjoy activities too. The season isn’t 100% about Santa and Christmas morning with children.

I say all this as a parent who only socially drinks sometimes. But I think it’s important to include kids in our real lives and not be so weird and puritanical about alcohol. Drinking does not have to mean getting drunk.

I actually think the focus on alcohol for parents on Halloween is a symptom of our weird relationship with parenting and alcohol, not a break from it. Like only in the US would you have a whole thread dedicated to asking parents if they planned to drink alcohol while trick or treating. Or making a big deal about how the parents "let loose" on Halloween since they aren't allowed to other times.

It's that juxtaposition specifically that is unhealthy. In countries where parents are not required to sacrifice every ounce of their being at the altar of parenting, people also don't make such a big deal about something like drinking at a holiday party. I agree with you that Americans are too extreme about their expectations of parents, but I also think running around doing jello shots during trick or treating is the extreme counter-reaction. A more moderate approach on both ends would be healthier for everyone.

[Anonymous]

No, but in general, I don't drink very much. Maybe half a dozen times a year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but I’m not a big drinker. Also Halloween is a lot going on and I want all my senses sharp in case of an emergency or having to drive.

Like if my kid falls off a retaining wall or something and breaks an arm and I have to drive to urgent care during trick or treating, I want to be 100% sober for that and I don’t want to have to rely on ride shares or anything. It’s a dangerous night.

+1, I think there's a time for drinking but probably not while running around the neighborhood on Halloween with little kids.

Also all the comments about how other parents intend to be drinking actually makes me feel like it's an even worse idea. I'm just envisioning a bunch of tipsy parents dealing with any kind of kid crisis and it's like, well someone needs to be sober. I guess it will be me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not an alcoholic though.

What's it like in your black and white world?

It's great. I am capable of spending an hour walking my kid around the neighborhood and then enjoying a glass of wine at home, without needing to carry a little "mommy juice" around with me while I make a nice memory with my kid.

I'm sorry that you can't do normal parenting activities without alcohol. That sounds difficult.

So your kids are so awful that you need to find solace in a glass of wine at the end of the night after spending an hour with them? I am sorry you are such a bad parent that you can't take your kids ToTing without having to drink way your troubles with "mommy juice" at the end of the night.

I had the same thought! She’s still drinking yet trying to frame it in a way that makes her look superior. Gave me a good chuckle.

You both sound defensive. No one said drinking is wrong, but why do you need to drink WHILE trick or treating with your kids? What is so hard about walking around the neighborhood for a little while that you feel you need that?

Where does it say anyone NEEDS it? Why do you feel like it’s a problem if someone takes their kid and enjoys a beer at the same time? Why does everyone NEED to do it your way, or else be labeled an alcoholic?

Why are you so triggered by someone pointing out that alcohol is not a necessary component to this activity? Why are you so defensive, if your way of doing it is so self-evidently good?

#1 - I never drank when taking my kids ToTing.
#2 - you were not just pointing out that alcohol is not necessary. Your post was dripping with superiority, trying to imply that you were much better than those who chose to enjoy a beverage while their kids ToT. You are the defensive one.

Actually, it just annoys me that adults in my neighborhood choose to turn Halloween into an alcohol-focused, adult-focused event, when it's for kids. There are tons of occasions where adults can get together and drink alcohol if they choose, I think it's weird that so many parents want to turn not just Halloween, but the main kid activation on halloween -- trick or treating -- into a boozy event. You could have a halloween party on the weekend, you could get together with parents after trick or treating is over. But people insist on making ToTing itself a boozy event.

I also think it sends a weird message to kids when you go trick or treating at a house and they are like "here's some candy kids! here's a jello shot parent!" It sends a strange message and I think reflects and unhealthy relationship with alcohol. But since ToTing is a community event, if you live in a neighborhood where a critical mass of parents are like this, no one cares if you think may be we should hold off on the drinking (or at least drinking jello shots, ffs) until the kids are done with their fun.

If my post is "dripping with superiority" then fine, I'm suprerior. I continue to think it's weird and not particularly healthy to make alcohol such a big part of Halloween for parents.

You’re a lot. Maybe stay home.

Good come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not an alcoholic though.

What's it like in your black and white world?

It's great. I am capable of spending an hour walking my kid around the neighborhood and then enjoying a glass of wine at home, without needing to carry a little "mommy juice" around with me while I make a nice memory with my kid.

I'm sorry that you can't do normal parenting activities without alcohol. That sounds difficult.

So your kids are so awful that you need to find solace in a glass of wine at the end of the night after spending an hour with them? I am sorry you are such a bad parent that you can't take your kids ToTing without having to drink way your troubles with "mommy juice" at the end of the night.

I had the same thought! She’s still drinking yet trying to frame it in a way that makes her look superior. Gave me a good chuckle.

You both sound defensive. No one said drinking is wrong, but why do you need to drink WHILE trick or treating with your kids? What is so hard about walking around the neighborhood for a little while that you feel you need that?

Where does it say anyone NEEDS it? Why do you feel like it’s a problem if someone takes their kid and enjoys a beer at the same time? Why does everyone NEED to do it your way, or else be labeled an alcoholic?

Why are you so triggered by someone pointing out that alcohol is not a necessary component to this activity? Why are you so defensive, if your way of doing it is so self-evidently good?

#1 - I never drank when taking my kids ToTing.
#2 - you were not just pointing out that alcohol is not necessary. Your post was dripping with superiority, trying to imply that you were much better than those who chose to enjoy a beverage while their kids ToT. You are the defensive one.

Actually, it just annoys me that adults in my neighborhood choose to turn Halloween into an alcohol-focused, adult-focused event, when it's for kids. There are tons of occasions where adults can get together and drink alcohol if they choose, I think it's weird that so many parents want to turn not just Halloween, but the main kid activation on halloween -- trick or treating -- into a boozy event. You could have a halloween party on the weekend, you could get together with parents after trick or treating is over. But people insist on making ToTing itself a boozy event.

I also think it sends a weird message to kids when you go trick or treating at a house and they are like "here's some candy kids! here's a jello shot parent!" It sends a strange message and I think reflects and unhealthy relationship with alcohol. But since ToTing is a community event, if you live in a neighborhood where a critical mass of parents are like this, no one cares if you think may be we should hold off on the drinking (or at least drinking jello shots, ffs) until the kids are done with their fun.

If my post is "dripping with superiority" then fine, I'm suprerior. I continue to think it's weird and not particularly healthy to make alcohol such a big part of Halloween for parents.

You are DEFINITELY the defensive one. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but I’m not a big drinker. Also Halloween is a lot going on and I want all my senses sharp in case of an emergency or having to drive.

Like if my kid falls off a retaining wall or something and breaks an arm and I have to drive to urgent care during trick or treating, I want to be 100% sober for that and I don’t want to have to rely on ride shares or anything. It’s a dangerous night.

+1, I think there's a time for drinking but probably not while running around the neighborhood on Halloween with little kids.

Also all the comments about how other parents intend to be drinking actually makes me feel like it's an even worse idea. I'm just envisioning a bunch of tipsy parents dealing with any kind of kid crisis and it's like, well someone needs to be sober. I guess it will be me.

You think you’ll need to step in and handle someone else’s kids because a neighbor gave them a beer? Mmkay.