People who can barely afford private should skip it.

[Anonymous]

There are so many people who pop into the forum for private schools to campaign for public school. I spend a lot of money on education and it's where I choose to spend my money. My kids are happy and love school. That wasn't the case when we were in public, even though the school was highly rated on "Great Schools". The campus wasn't secure, there were kids throwing pencils and other stuff around the class, and one teacher had almost 30 first graders.

Do some people love public school? I'm sure. But it wasn't my jam and the money I spend makes the lives of my kids - and frankly my own life - much happier. If your kid loves public and the education is working for your family - I love that for you. If someone wants to live paycheck to paycheck to pay for private school - I am going to assume there is a really valid reason for that family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You keep describing your current school as this wonderful, nurturing environment...which unless everyone else is lying, is absolutely not how it will be once they hit HS. Big3 is not whole-child nurturing at HS.

It is odd that you are sending your kid to a school where HS will be every bit as stressful as an Ivy school...so they should be absolutely fully prepared to handle that environment. They Ivy school should not be stressful to them...your Big3 school is preparing them for that exact environment.

PP said: "The stress doesn't come until HS, maybe a tiny bit in MS." These schools are absolutely whole-child nuturing up in lower school, and to some extent in middle school too.

I hear what you are saying, but it is a 180-degree turn come HS. Maybe that is by design...if they did the 180-degree turn in 6th grade, then more people would say I can't sign up for 7 years of this. However, once you are in HS...you are kind of beholden.

I am just trying to reconcile the cognitive disconnect. Why discourage your kid from an Ivy school when they are now in one of the best positions to capitalize on that Ivy school due to their HS training? That is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many people who pop into the forum for private schools to campaign for public school. I spend a lot of money on education and it's where I choose to spend my money. My kids are happy and love school. That wasn't the case when we were in public, even though the school was highly rated on "Great Schools". The campus wasn't secure, there were kids throwing pencils and other stuff around the class, and one teacher had almost 30 first graders.

Do some people love public school? I'm sure. But it wasn't my jam and the money I spend makes the lives of my kids - and frankly my own life - much happier. If your kid loves public and the education is working for your family - I love that for you. If someone wants to live paycheck to paycheck to pay for private school - I am going to assume there is a really valid reason for that family.

+1 Honestly people have their reasons and pros and cons and those may not make sense to other people. Just like some people say flying business class is absolutely worth it/essential for their trip and others think it’s a colossal waste of money for an 8 hour period of time. The truth is that either one can be true or justified and that’s why we decide for ourselves and not for other people. My kids are in public and we have experienced all the good and the bad that comes with it. My nieces are in private and have experienced all the good and the bad at their school, as well. Extreme opinions on the subject just indicate that the opinion holder has diminished ability to recognize and admit nuance.

[Anonymous]

You’re focusing just on College Admissions (which were also excellent) which is four years and the rest of us are focusing on 14 years at private schools with small classes, beatiful campuses, wonderful trip offerings, No violence or drugs at school, kids not getting jumped in the bathroom (yes this happens), and the list goes on and on and on. I have no regrets that I sent my kids to private school and would do it over again in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s worth every penny if you live in DC.

+1. Especially if you live outside the Deal/JR zone.

And Deal and JR are not what they once were. The behavior issues and lack of discipline and teacher turnover make each of these places truly subpar. Private if you can do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

When you look at private like this you are missing why so many people actually choose private. It's not always about getting into the best college. It's about providing the best environment for your child. Not all children will do well in large public school classrooms. Not everyone can afford to buy a house in a top school district.

I just posted that we switched our kid from public to private. Our child has told us that there are some good teachers but others that are worse than the public school. As a parent, I love how included we are and all the information we receive from the school. We have already had multiple conferences, parent day, parent coffees, lunches, receptions, etc.

Our public had many extremely smart students. I’m not sure the private kids are stronger students. I do like the smaller class sizes and personalized attention.

This is what makes private worth it. Public schools have a ton of priorities, and you and your DC are not one.

Bingo!

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re focusing just on College Admissions (which were also excellent) which is four years and the rest of us are focusing on 14 years at private schools with small classes, beatiful campuses, wonderful trip offerings, No violence or drugs at school, kids not getting jumped in the bathroom (yes this happens), and the list goes on and on and on. I have no regrets that I sent my kids to private school and would do it over again in a heartbeat.

Same here. We do have to stretch, but we have never seriously considered not doing it and would do it again. We did NOT do this for superior college admittance!! Kids (both in HS now - and on their second private schools) are, and have always been, happy to go to school, understand how to self advocate for themselves with adults and teachers, love the smaller atmosphere and all the "extras" they've recieved in private school - trips, experiences, feeling a true part of a school, never, ever, ever have been afraid of walking into to a school bathroom...... As parents we've felt informed, included, heard, and watched the care and committment the schools have given to our kids. Not saying it's always been perfect, but school has never been stress inducing for us and we've always been impressed with the academics. FWIW - this has been our experience and even though we stretch, we never regret our peace of mind or our kids success......

[Anonymous]

I think people obsess about Ivy League schools and make the assumption that competing with a lot of other high performing kids will be a disadvantage. I don't send my children to private school expecting them to go to Harvard. But I also wouldn't assume that sending them to public would give them a better shot at an Ivy League either. If you are paying for private schools thinking it will pay your Childs way to entrance into an ivy, it might not pan out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re focusing just on College Admissions (which were also excellent) which is four years and the rest of us are focusing on 14 years at private schools with small classes, beatiful campuses, wonderful trip offerings, No violence or drugs at school, kids not getting jumped in the bathroom (yes this happens), and the list goes on and on and on. I have no regrets that I sent my kids to private school and would do it over again in a heartbeat.

Same here. We do have to stretch, but we have never seriously considered not doing it and would do it again. We did NOT do this for superior college admittance!! Kids (both in HS now - and on their second private schools) are, and have always been, happy to go to school, understand how to self advocate for themselves with adults and teachers, love the smaller atmosphere and all the "extras" they've recieved in private school - trips, experiences, feeling a true part of a school, never, ever, ever have been afraid of walking into to a school bathroom...... As parents we've felt informed, included, heard, and watched the care and committment the schools have given to our kids. Not saying it's always been perfect, but school has never been stress inducing for us and we've always been impressed with the academics. FWIW - this has been our experience and even though we stretch, we never regret our peace of mind or our kids success......

I think the problem is the premise is flawed. If you can "barely afford" it...you can still afford it.

I am a private school parent and the cost is really a non-factor. However, if someone asked...I plan to send my kid to your school but I won't be able to save for retirement, college, go on any vacations, will stress nearly all the time about $$$s, etc., I would absolutely tell them they need to apply for FA, find a much cheaper school or move. It all is a bit twisted logic, because this person should be able to receive decent FA.

However, I would also argue this person is not in the "barely afford" it category...they can't afford it.

[Anonymous]

Disagree. If you feel like your kid would benefit from private school, explore your options, apply for financial aid and scholarships. Private school should not just be for the wealthy - bust the doors wide open. And no, a crappy public school with "enrichment" does not come close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

Whereas I, on the other hand, don't understand why people spend enormous sums of money to have their kids attend an expensive college entirely willing to let a bright student skate through higher ed (*cough* Harvard *cough*), instead of having earlier put the cash into St Teachesalot Parish School, which deigns to instruct.

Anyway, the problem with tutors in every subject is that - even with all the efficiencies of 1:1 education - it still takes a lot of time. The homeschoolers who are able to get through grade level material in a couple hours a day are working with children that are not wiped out from an exhausting seven hour school day. And I say this as someone who afterschooled for quite a while, before sending my kid to St T's, where I'd carefully reviewed the curriculum to ensure that I didn't have to do that any more. I don't think I could've said the same had I sent my child to a more expensive elite school which was e.g. still on the Lucy Caulkins bandwagon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s worth every penny if you live in DC.

+1. Especially if you live outside the Deal/JR zone.

And Deal and JR are not what they once were. The behavior issues and lack of discipline and teacher turnover make each of these places truly subpar. Private if you can do so.

As a parent of DCPS children EOTP, we have done our absolute best to supplement at home, enrich our lives via extracurriculars, but my children are absolutely fatigued with the chaos and misbehavior they are subject to every day at their DCPS. The main takeaway my 8th grader has had from his shadow days at privates is how much more control the teachers have over the classroom, how responsive and cooperative the kids are at the school, and how much easier it was to focus on the lesson. I certainly don't look forward to the strain that private school will put on my lower middle class/ borderline working class family budget (thats IF we even get in with financial aid), but my child is begging for an environment where the majority of children WANT to succeed and be challenged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many people who pop into the forum for private schools to campaign for public school. I spend a lot of money on education and it's where I choose to spend my money. My kids are happy and love school. That wasn't the case when we were in public, even though the school was highly rated on "Great Schools". The campus wasn't secure, there were kids throwing pencils and other stuff around the class, and one teacher had almost 30 first graders.

Do some people love public school? I'm sure. But it wasn't my jam and the money I spend makes the lives of my kids - and frankly my own life - much happier. If your kid loves public and the education is working for your family - I love that for you. If someone wants to live paycheck to paycheck to pay for private school - I am going to assume there is a really valid reason for that family.

+1 Honestly people have their reasons and pros and cons and those may not make sense to other people. Just like some people say flying business class is absolutely worth it/essential for their trip and others think it’s a colossal waste of money for an 8 hour period of time. The truth is that either one can be true or justified and that’s why we decide for ourselves and not for other people. My kids are in public and we have experienced all the good and the bad that comes with it. My nieces are in private and have experienced all the good and the bad at their school, as well. Extreme opinions on the subject just indicate that the opinion holder has diminished ability to recognize and admit nuance.

+2 Well said, both PP's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many people who pop into the forum for private schools to campaign for public school. I spend a lot of money on education and it's where I choose to spend my money. My kids are happy and love school. That wasn't the case when we were in public, even though the school was highly rated on "Great Schools". The campus wasn't secure, there were kids throwing pencils and other stuff around the class, and one teacher had almost 30 first graders.

Do some people love public school? I'm sure. But it wasn't my jam and the money I spend makes the lives of my kids - and frankly my own life - much happier. If your kid loves public and the education is working for your family - I love that for you. If someone wants to live paycheck to paycheck to pay for private school - I am going to assume there is a really valid reason for that family.

And since we're all anonymous here, we can go deeper in that psyche and realize that this doesn't really make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s worth every penny if you live in DC.

+1. Especially if you live outside the Deal/JR zone.

And Deal and JR are not what they once were. The behavior issues and lack of discipline and teacher turnover make each of these places truly subpar. Private if you can do so.

As a parent of DCPS children EOTP, we have done our absolute best to supplement at home, enrich our lives via extracurriculars, but my children are absolutely fatigued with the chaos and misbehavior they are subject to every day at their DCPS. The main takeaway my 8th grader has had from his shadow days at privates is how much more control the teachers have over the classroom, how responsive and cooperative the kids are at the school, and how much easier it was to focus on the lesson. I certainly don't look forward to the strain that private school will put on my lower middle class/ borderline working class family budget (thats IF we even get in with financial aid), but my child is begging for an environment where the majority of children WANT to succeed and be challenged.

You'll get a lot more bang for your buck if you move out of DC and into good MD or VA public school systems.

This is what most people do. Private on your budget really isn't going to be pleasant.

We moved out, and we can afford tutors, extra-curriculars, travel, etc. All on a <100K HHI, just because we recognized we had to move and enroll our kids in better publics.