is volleyball really a "mean girl" sport??

[Anonymous]

anecdotal: my DD played rec league in MS. The girls who were the "best" players were mean. And that continued onto HS. DD dropped volleyball. Admittedly, she wasn't that great at it, but she enjoyed the game itself, but not enough to deal with the mean girls.

[Anonymous]

The field hockey girls are the mean ones at my daughters school! The Volleyball girls are nice and on the dorky side.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are seriously considering steering your child away from volleyball because you’ve heard that all volleyball teams attract mean girls, you are hopelessly lacking in analytical skills. I also find it extremely hard to believe anyone who played D1 sports would be asking this question. Every school team is different, and most kids with good parental guidance can navigate most of them just fine. If you come to find a team your DD is on has a toxic culture, you can make a switch then.

[Anonymous]

This depends so much on the coach. At our school tennis and lacrosse (boys and girls) are the “mean kid” sports, volleyball and basketball are known for being supportive and welcoming. 20 years ago when I taught at a private middle school dance team was the mean girls and wrestling was the mean boys. All of this tracks directly to the attitudes of the coaches and what behavior they encouraged, tolerated, and rewarded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school it is the popular/cool girls who are into volleyball and coincidentally they are the mean girls.

You must have a small school or popularity associated with height. At ours, 5'9 or below isn't making the team

+100

Everyone who made the freshman team this year is 5’8” or taller. My DD doesn’t play volleyball but has several friends who do. The girls seem nice enough- have not heard anything negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This depends so much on the coach. At our school tennis and lacrosse (boys and girls) are the “mean kid” sports, volleyball and basketball are known for being supportive and welcoming. 20 years ago when I taught at a private middle school dance team was the mean girls and wrestling was the mean boys. All of this tracks directly to the attitudes of the coaches and what behavior they encouraged, tolerated, and rewarded.

Tennis? At my school a mean boy tennis playing trying to intimidate a basketball or football play would have ended up with a broken nose

[Anonymous]

At my volleyball-playing daughter's high school, it's the lacrosse girls who are the mean girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This depends so much on the coach. At our school tennis and lacrosse (boys and girls) are the “mean kid” sports, volleyball and basketball are known for being supportive and welcoming. 20 years ago when I taught at a private middle school dance team was the mean girls and wrestling was the mean boys. All of this tracks directly to the attitudes of the coaches and what behavior they encouraged, tolerated, and rewarded.

Tennis? At my school a mean boy tennis playing trying to intimidate a basketball or football play would have ended up with a broken nose

Ah, but tennis is the rich kids who have had private coaching, for the most part. And then the coach is really awful (seriously, I don’t know how he’s still employed there). It’s a toxic combo. The school doesn’t have football, and the coaches who run the basketball program are very on top of creating a positive environment that prioritizes inclusivity and mental well-being (over winning, really).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school it is the popular/cool girls who are into volleyball and coincidentally they are the mean girls.

You must have a small school or popularity associated with height. At ours, 5'9 or below isn't making the team

That’s not the case. I think it started at the pool where all of the popular girls play volleyball, that translated to the middle school. Imo they are the mean girls. There is a queen bee and her followers. If the queen bee doesn’t talk to you neither do her followers. It is very reminiscent of mean girls the movie. I don’t think anybody is particularly tall I. It’s a public mcps school.

[Anonymous]

At my kids’ high school it is the dance team for girls, and baseball for boys. My kids play neither of those.

From what I’ve heard, this has been the case since the youth levels- and is mostly the fault of the parents (dance moms and baseball dads)- not the coaches. Both have a parent clique of sorts, and exclude others quite early - and teach their kids to do the same. Probably because both of these teams are smaller with limited spots- and don’t have any disqualifying factors like height etc. like in basketball or volleyball.

[Anonymous]

Volleyball can be quite expensive. In our school, in order to be good enough to make the team, it is necessary to play at a high club level (National or at least Regional plus teams), which requires high fees, travel and private training). So the girls who play tend to be from wealthy families, have the nicest clothes, money to spend on hair, makeup, cars, etc. I don’t know if they are mean, but they seem to be popular, and are all attractive looking and fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Volleyball can be quite expensive. In our school, in order to be good enough to make the team, it is necessary to play at a high club level (National or at least Regional plus teams), which requires high fees, travel and private training). So the girls who play tend to be from wealthy families, have the nicest clothes, money to spend on hair, makeup, cars, etc. I don’t know if they are mean, but they seem to be popular, and are all attractive looking and fit.

It's true. It's about 4K to join a club team! Crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This depends so much on the coach. At our school tennis and lacrosse (boys and girls) are the “mean kid” sports, volleyball and basketball are known for being supportive and welcoming. 20 years ago when I taught at a private middle school dance team was the mean girls and wrestling was the mean boys. All of this tracks directly to the attitudes of the coaches and what behavior they encouraged, tolerated, and rewarded.

Tennis? At my school a mean boy tennis playing trying to intimidate a basketball or football play would have ended up with a broken nose

Probably private school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school it is the popular/cool girls who are into volleyball and coincidentally they are the mean girls.

You must have a small school or popularity associated with height. At ours, 5'9 or below isn't making the team

That’s not the case. I think it started at the pool where all of the popular girls play volleyball, that translated to the middle school. Imo they are the mean girls. There is a queen bee and her followers. If the queen bee doesn’t talk to you neither do her followers. It is very reminiscent of mean girls the movie. I don’t think anybody is particularly tall I. It’s a public mcps school.

The popular girls may start out in middle school as the volleyball players, but at a competitive tryout, there are only so many spots for liberos. The tall girls will end up being chosen over the queen and their followers unless they all happen to also be tall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school it is the popular/cool girls who are into volleyball and coincidentally they are the mean girls.

You must have a small school or popularity associated with height. At ours, 5'9 or below isn't making the team

I think you don’t know anything about volleyball.