Homecoming dresses are so short!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do the girls sit down? Seriously---the dress is super short to begin with. Then when they sit, it rides up even more. Is their butt still covered by the dress when the sit?

I can understand wearing shorts underneath but again, aren't the dresses too short so that the undershorts show below the dress?

Maybe the dresses are longer than I think.

It's not. And you can see genitals.

No you can’t

Op, yes, the dresses are short. But not ALL of them are. My dd is wearing a mid calf length dress, as is one of her friends. There are options besides the super short dresses. But a pp is right, you’ll be used to whatever is popular once your kids are that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And the girls all wear sneakers (at least in every picture I saw of a HC last weekend). I think it's pretty cute.

dressing like a street walker isn't "cute".

-parent of HS sophmore.

I make DD wear biker shorts underneath her dress, and it must come down a couple of inches below her bottom. Some of the dresses I've seen hit right below the butt cheeks. Some girls wear tube tops to school, and shorts that show the bottom of the butt cheeks.

How on earth is that appropriate attire for school?

Sexism and slut shaming isn't cute, either. But you seem to have that down pat, anyway.

Finding it inappropriate is not the same as slut shaming. It would be inappropriate to come to work dressed like that. It’s a clubbing outfit where the point is to look sexy and maybe have sex that evening. Not appropriate for work or school or high school dances. Not because sex is bad per se. But because high schoolers generally aren’t encouraged to be having sex so dressing like they are is not appropriate.

I’m pretty sure the parents who let their HS daughters dress with their T&A hanging out don’t care whether their daughters are having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's been this way for years, OP. My kids are still in elementary, but I distinctly remember seeing pictures of my cousins at their high school dances about 8-9 years ago and was shocked at what all of the girls were wearing. The dresses were so tight and short--like what you'd see 20-something women wear to go clubbing in Vegas. It didn't seem like an age-appropriate look for high schoolers.

My teen dd shot down a couple dress suggestions because she told me that they weren’t the style for HoCo. “HoCo is more like club clothes” - her words.

So yeah, it’s definitely what’s standard these days.

[Anonymous]

I'm so tired of this conversation. If you don't want your kid to wear a short, tight dress, then don't let her wear one. Let the other parents worry about their own kids and what they wear.

Did my DD wear a bodycon dress? Yes.
Did I care? Not really. She liked how she looked and felt good about what she wore.
Do I care what you think of me and my parenting? Not in the least.

[Anonymous]

My daughters are 11 and almost 14. A few people commented to my husband about our "first day of school" photos because both girls were showing their midriffs (with baggy pants). Our school doesn't have a dress code because of the inherent double standards. Honestly, I was surprised because they just looked cute to me.

I just take an anthropological view; what is decent or trendy varies SO MUCH by culture. Think about places were boobs are just boobs, and not super sexy sirens trying to lure men to their destruction. Cultures are pretty universal about covering the genitals, but beyond that, it's just an accident of time and geography whether something is indecent or not.

As for teaching my daughters, that's not to say it's just anything goes. I've taught them the principle of skimpy on top or skimpy on bottom, but not both at the same time . . . that's a good way to balance your look. But the most important thing is feeling comfortable.

I've been an A cup all my life, and my older daughter is a C cup, and she loves her boobs, and I love that she loves her boobs. Some mean (and presumably jealous) girl spread a rumor that my daughter's boobs are fake (Ha! Like we took a 13 year old to Mexico for cosmetic surgery or something?), and my daughter just said, whatever, I have a lot of body positivity and I love my boobs, but don't comment on someone else's body, that's not nice!

If you feel anxious when you look at skimpier clothing on a girl, ask yourself if you are worried about being labeled as a slut, and why that would bother you. Are the people who would judge you over this worth policing yourself, or your daughters, for? Have you internalized the idea that it's OK for men to mistreat you if you don't cover up enough? It's OK if those things are true . . . you're just a product of your environment. But try to take a step back and look at the situation objectively . . . don't you want your daughters to wear what they want without people sexualizing them? If so, the first step is to live that way yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of this conversation. If you don't want your kid to wear a short, tight dress, then don't let her wear one. Let the other parents worry about their own kids and what they wear.

Did my DD wear a bodycon dress? Yes.
Did I care? Not really. She liked how she looked and felt good about what she wore.
Do I care what you think of me and my parenting? Not in the least.

You clearly care what other people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of this conversation. If you don't want your kid to wear a short, tight dress, then don't let her wear one. Let the other parents worry about their own kids and what they wear.

Did my DD wear a bodycon dress? Yes.
Did I care? Not really. She liked how she looked and felt good about what she wore.
Do I care what you think of me and my parenting? Not in the least.

You clearly care what other people think.

Truly, I 100 percent do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughters are 11 and almost 14. A few people commented to my husband about our "first day of school" photos because both girls were showing their midriffs (with baggy pants). Our school doesn't have a dress code because of the inherent double standards. Honestly, I was surprised because they just looked cute to me.

I just take an anthropological view; what is decent or trendy varies SO MUCH by culture. Think about places were boobs are just boobs, and not super sexy sirens trying to lure men to their destruction. Cultures are pretty universal about covering the genitals, but beyond that, it's just an accident of time and geography whether something is indecent or not.

As for teaching my daughters, that's not to say it's just anything goes. I've taught them the principle of skimpy on top or skimpy on bottom, but not both at the same time . . . that's a good way to balance your look. But the most important thing is feeling comfortable.

I've been an A cup all my life, and my older daughter is a C cup, and she loves her boobs, and I love that she loves her boobs. Some mean (and presumably jealous) girl spread a rumor that my daughter's boobs are fake (Ha! Like we took a 13 year old to Mexico for cosmetic surgery or something?), and my daughter just said, whatever, I have a lot of body positivity and I love my boobs, but don't comment on someone else's body, that's not nice!

If you feel anxious when you look at skimpier clothing on a girl, ask yourself if you are worried about being labeled as a slut, and why that would bother you. Are the people who would judge you over this worth policing yourself, or your daughters, for? Have you internalized the idea that it's OK for men to mistreat you if you don't cover up enough? It's OK if those things are true . . . you're just a product of your environment. But try to take a step back and look at the situation objectively . . . don't you want your daughters to wear what they want without people sexualizing them? If so, the first step is to live that way yourself.

And you are a product of your environment that thinks your daughter should ‘feel good about herself’ because she has big boobs.

You are also a product of the idea that a girl has to be dressed in a crop top to look cute.

Girls can look cute (if they want to and also fine if they don’t want to) in other ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do the girls sit down? Seriously---the dress is super short to begin with. Then when they sit, it rides up even more. Is their butt still covered by the dress when the sit?

I can understand wearing shorts underneath but again, aren't the dresses too short so that the undershorts show below the dress?

Maybe the dresses are longer than I think.

It's not. And you can see genitals.

No you can’t

Op, yes, the dresses are short. But not ALL of them are. My dd is wearing a mid calf length dress, as is one of her friends. There are options besides the super short dresses. But a pp is right, you’ll be used to whatever is popular once your kids are that age.

You can when they sit down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On one hand, I kind of love that girls are comfortable wearing short dresses. At the age I was way too self-conscious and am glad that wasn't the fashion then.

On the other hand, it seems performative when teens wear them now. And aren't they freezing?

They're learning to dress for men.

[Anonymous]

Eh this is not the hill I would die on as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughters are 11 and almost 14. A few people commented to my husband about our "first day of school" photos because both girls were showing their midriffs (with baggy pants). Our school doesn't have a dress code because of the inherent double standards. Honestly, I was surprised because they just looked cute to me.

I just take an anthropological view; what is decent or trendy varies SO MUCH by culture. Think about places were boobs are just boobs, and not super sexy sirens trying to lure men to their destruction. Cultures are pretty universal about covering the genitals, but beyond that, it's just an accident of time and geography whether something is indecent or not.

As for teaching my daughters, that's not to say it's just anything goes. I've taught them the principle of skimpy on top or skimpy on bottom, but not both at the same time . . . that's a good way to balance your look. But the most important thing is feeling comfortable.

I've been an A cup all my life, and my older daughter is a C cup, and she loves her boobs, and I love that she loves her boobs. Some mean (and presumably jealous) girl spread a rumor that my daughter's boobs are fake (Ha! Like we took a 13 year old to Mexico for cosmetic surgery or something?), and my daughter just said, whatever, I have a lot of body positivity and I love my boobs, but don't comment on someone else's body, that's not nice!

If you feel anxious when you look at skimpier clothing on a girl, ask yourself if you are worried about being labeled as a slut, and why that would bother you. Are the people who would judge you over this worth policing yourself, or your daughters, for? Have you internalized the idea that it's OK for men to mistreat you if you don't cover up enough? It's OK if those things are true . . . you're just a product of your environment. But try to take a step back and look at the situation objectively . . . don't you want your daughters to wear what they want without people sexualizing them? If so, the first step is to live that way yourself.

What double standard? I don’t really want to see a teen boy’s a$$ hanging out either.

I also would prefer not to see a teen boy’s hairy armpits - boy or girl, they shouldn’t be allowed to wear tank tops to school.

If they had the same dress code for boys and girls, there would be no double standard.

Sounds like your DD might be getting her sense of self-worth from her body image and her boobs. That’s fine, but make sure you’re also cultivating the idea that she is worth WAY more than her body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On one hand, I kind of love that girls are comfortable wearing short dresses. At the age I was way too self-conscious and am glad that wasn't the fashion then.

On the other hand, it seems performative when teens wear them now. And aren't they freezing?

They're learning to dress for men.

This right here.

The girls aren’t all comfortable. You see lots of them tugging at their dresses and tugging down their hem lines, adjusting their boobs, etc.

But they have heard the message loud and clear - they need to dress a certain way to get attention. They see it in the media and in schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On one hand, I kind of love that girls are comfortable wearing short dresses. At the age I was way too self-conscious and am glad that wasn't the fashion then.

On the other hand, it seems performative when teens wear them now. And aren't they freezing?

They're learning to dress for men.

Please. Straight men do not determine trends in skirt lengths. Women dress to impress each other, in styles largely determined by gay men.

[Anonymous]

The teens think it’s trendy when it’s just cheap. They eventually grow out of it with maturity and self respect. Sadly, some never do when you see what some of them wear to bachelorette parties.