South Asians: how much do you make? What do you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most south Asians send a lot of money back home and are some of the biggest donors for political candidates and other disaster relief efforts. I’m in the Pakistani American community in Nova and I can tell you every wealthy Pakistani American is an active citizen and a major donor for various causes locally, nationally and internationally as well. A large percentage of the money is sent back home to help extended family members or community and other disaster relief efforts.

Yes, we like nice things and status and wealth but we also believe in giving back.

Charity does not including giving to your own - it’s natural to do that. Do you give to needy strangers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:East Asian dual physician household here chiming in. My husband makes $800-900 and I make about $500-600. We have many many south asian friend couples in this income range as well.

wow which specialities?

where do you live? you must live in the boonies to make that kind of salary. no doctors in big metropolitan areas make that much.

We're mid-career subspecialists with 6-8 years of training in the suburbs of a major metro area (not DC) that is somewhere between MCOL and HCOL. Both hospital employed and carry the average amount of patients as expected for our specialties roughly 18-25/day. Our incomes are on par with the market with many in private practice or hustling making much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Underachiever here - age 43 - 225k as a lawyer at a financial regulator. Did the biglaw thing for 8 years so I guess I made money there, but not the type of money that associates make now and I had no prayer of making partner. Yes I'm plenty Americanized with ivy degrees and all but coming up for partner in 2008 in NYC didn't help - no one was going to stick their neck out for me and my career never recovered. So here I am stuck in government.

you are not an underachiever....

Objectively I get that but it doesn't feel that way when every uncle in town - and to an extent my own parents - are constantly like partner partner partner, you didn't make partner, after all that money your parents spent sending you to the ivys blah blah. They act like the 2008 recession was a personal failing. Sure I guess it was a personal failing to not want to jump to another firm and slog it out for another 5 years to try to make it, but I just didn't have it in me to work the 80-90 hr NYC weeks for that much longer with no guarantees; another thing these uncles - most of whom never worked more than 40.0 hours a day in their lives in engineering do not understand. (I do understand that many many Indian immigrants slogged out much much longer hours, but the ones judging me were all in engineering and all had the 40 hours and I'm checked out by 5 pm lives.)

You need to live your life per what pleases you. Tell your uncles, parents they are no longer in the “old country” where you’re never good enough as a person if you don’t excel professionally. Life really is very temporary, a game of sorts and sadly the legacy Indian culture is blind to this fact. Refreshingly with newer generations, I’m seeing Indian kids become teachers, journalists, firemen, cops, chefs, etc. The fear factor decreases with each generation.

+1000. I frankly wouldn't even tell them anything bc you can't teach a 70 or 80 year old who isn't willing to learn. Just ignore, live your life, enjoy your great salary and benefits while NOT working 90 hours/week.

But listen sometimes about how unhappy some of these 70-80+ year olds in our community really are. They never lived their own lives - it was all about what THEIR mommies and daddies wanted them to do and then they turned around and hovered over their own kids for the next 30 years. I mean it's sad that an entire generation of elders lived life out of obligation, to impress the Patels or the Khans or whomever, and really don't even know themselves, their own likes/dislikes, don't have any hobbies besides counting money - their own and everyone else's. And now all they can do is sit around and gossip about you - because the only way to feel better is to put someone else down.

I'm super proud of our younger generations - the kids who are currently in their 20s. Their 50 year old parents have backed off to an extent - and if they haven't - these 21 year olds have no problem telling mom and dad to shove it, as they get jobs in urban planning, speech therapy, and whatever else they want to do. Sorry auntie and uncle, not everyone dreams of being an engineer, dr, or lawyer.

I completely agree. I have a lot of sympathy because they had to sacrifice everything and never got to live out their own personal dreams, especially the women. So they transport their unfulfilled ambitions on their children and grandchildren. Moreover they are guilty of wanting to impress friends and neighbors with their kids’ accomplishments. Unfortunately, our parents information about work, college and everything else is so outdated and completely wrong. So it just leads to debates IMO.

I have sympathy in a way and then I don't. I get it - tons of sacrifice, providing for the kids, the women were never allowed to have dreams, frankly the men weren't either bc they were living out whatever lives their parents wanted for them. But some of these people are in their 70s-80s now, meaning their own Indian-American kids launched some 20+ years ago. If they could back off of hovering over their kids' and grandkids' lives and still being soooo concerned with what auntie so and so will think of where their grandson is going to college, they could LIVE NOW. Sure no one can turn back the hands of time and pursue a dream profession that you would have pursued at age 25. But you can have hobbies, travel, write, hike, whatever you want; lots of these people have serious money too - so it's not like financially strapped retirees.

But nope instead they'd rather sit in judgment of everyone and debate issues of work, school, which are COMPLETELY different now than they were in 1985. If I have to debate ONE more time with my parents that hybrid work is not going to last and everyone is going back to the office just like they were in 1998, I will scream. First off they've been retired for decades so they don't get what work is like now. Second off - uh hybrid has lasted on the east coast for 3.5 years + the millennials/Zs have NO fears walking away from a job - even a prestige job if it doesn't give them the LIFE they want. My parents want to debate over and over and over again that absolutely NO ONE would ever leave Goldman Sachs or Skadden ever so of course they'll go back to the office and jump on the employer's command. Sure some % would never leave Goldman or Skadden, but there's another % that HAS left because they've decided they want to do other things, live a different way that they'll enjoy more. Unthinkable.

I’m laughing because my husband and I can completely relate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most south Asians send a lot of money back home and are some of the biggest donors for political candidates and other disaster relief efforts. I’m in the Pakistani American community in Nova and I can tell you every wealthy Pakistani American is an active citizen and a major donor for various causes locally, nationally and internationally as well. A large percentage of the money is sent back home to help extended family members or community and other disaster relief efforts.

Yes, we like nice things and status and wealth but we also believe in giving back.

Charity does not including giving to your own - it’s natural to do that. Do you give to needy strangers?

DP. Really? I didn't think very many Americans took care of people outside of their close-in family.

We do in fact, do both. Take care of (very) extended family, and give to strangers. We sponsor a few children back home, in orphanages. Some have "aged out", but got educated, have careers, and are married. Others are still fairly young and in school. We also donate to some organizations (both here and abroad) that deal with victims of sex trafficking, as well as another that provide education, training, and rehabilitation for the blind.

[Anonymous]

$1.2M last year. I refuse to bring shame on my people like my lazy countrymen.

[Anonymous]

I find this thread to be so sad for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread to be so sad for some reason.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:East Asian dual physician household here chiming in. My husband makes $800-900 and I make about $500-600. We have many many south asian friend couples in this income range as well.

wow which specialities?

where do you live? you must live in the boonies to make that kind of salary. no doctors in big metropolitan areas make that much.

We're mid-career subspecialists with 6-8 years of training in the suburbs of a major metro area (not DC) that is somewhere between MCOL and HCOL. Both hospital employed and carry the average amount of patients as expected for our specialties roughly 18-25/day. Our incomes are on par with the market with many in private practice or hustling making much more.

DH is an ortho surgeon and earns $1m+ in a major city. His colleagues all earn 500k+. Other specialized surgeons also earn 400k+.

Primary care, Peds, family medicine pays less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear that you all make good money, like your material things and like to brag.

Since you’re so open about your money can you all share your charitable contributions? I would assume you give back to the people in your countries that still suffer from the countries archaic ways .

Yeah.. We donate to Vivek Ramaswamy and Trump's campaigns to they can win and bit*hslap archaic a-holes like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Underachiever here - age 43 - 225k as a lawyer at a financial regulator. Did the biglaw thing for 8 years so I guess I made money there, but not the type of money that associates make now and I had no prayer of making partner. Yes I'm plenty Americanized with ivy degrees and all but coming up for partner in 2008 in NYC didn't help - no one was going to stick their neck out for me and my career never recovered. So here I am stuck in government.

you are not an underachiever....

Objectively I get that but it doesn't feel that way when every uncle in town - and to an extent my own parents - are constantly like partner partner partner, you didn't make partner, after all that money your parents spent sending you to the ivys blah blah. They act like the 2008 recession was a personal failing. Sure I guess it was a personal failing to not want to jump to another firm and slog it out for another 5 years to try to make it, but I just didn't have it in me to work the 80-90 hr NYC weeks for that much longer with no guarantees; another thing these uncles - most of whom never worked more than 40.0 hours a day in their lives in engineering do not understand. (I do understand that many many Indian immigrants slogged out much much longer hours, but the ones judging me were all in engineering and all had the 40 hours and I'm checked out by 5 pm lives.)

You need to live your life per what pleases you. Tell your uncles, parents they are no longer in the “old country” where you’re never good enough as a person if you don’t excel professionally. Life really is very temporary, a game of sorts and sadly the legacy Indian culture is blind to this fact. Refreshingly with newer generations, I’m seeing Indian kids become teachers, journalists, firemen, cops, chefs, etc. The fear factor decreases with each generation.

+1000. I frankly wouldn't even tell them anything bc you can't teach a 70 or 80 year old who isn't willing to learn. Just ignore, live your life, enjoy your great salary and benefits while NOT working 90 hours/week.

But listen sometimes about how unhappy some of these 70-80+ year olds in our community really are. They never lived their own lives - it was all about what THEIR mommies and daddies wanted them to do and then they turned around and hovered over their own kids for the next 30 years. I mean it's sad that an entire generation of elders lived life out of obligation, to impress the Patels or the Khans or whomever, and really don't even know themselves, their own likes/dislikes, don't have any hobbies besides counting money - their own and everyone else's. And now all they can do is sit around and gossip about you - because the only way to feel better is to put someone else down.

I'm super proud of our younger generations - the kids who are currently in their 20s. Their 50 year old parents have backed off to an extent - and if they haven't - these 21 year olds have no problem telling mom and dad to shove it, as they get jobs in urban planning, speech therapy, and whatever else they want to do. Sorry auntie and uncle, not everyone dreams of being an engineer, dr, or lawyer.

I completely agree. I have a lot of sympathy because they had to sacrifice everything and never got to live out their own personal dreams, especially the women. So they transport their unfulfilled ambitions on their children and grandchildren. Moreover they are guilty of wanting to impress friends and neighbors with their kids’ accomplishments. Unfortunately, our parents information about work, college and everything else is so outdated and completely wrong. So it just leads to debates IMO.

I have sympathy in a way and then I don't. I get it - tons of sacrifice, providing for the kids, the women were never allowed to have dreams, frankly the men weren't either bc they were living out whatever lives their parents wanted for them. But some of these people are in their 70s-80s now, meaning their own Indian-American kids launched some 20+ years ago. If they could back off of hovering over their kids' and grandkids' lives and still being soooo concerned with what auntie so and so will think of where their grandson is going to college, they could LIVE NOW. Sure no one can turn back the hands of time and pursue a dream profession that you would have pursued at age 25. But you can have hobbies, travel, write, hike, whatever you want; lots of these people have serious money too - so it's not like financially strapped retirees.

But nope instead they'd rather sit in judgment of everyone and debate issues of work, school, which are COMPLETELY different now than they were in 1985. If I have to debate ONE more time with my parents that hybrid work is not going to last and everyone is going back to the office just like they were in 1998, I will scream. First off they've been retired for decades so they don't get what work is like now. Second off - uh hybrid has lasted on the east coast for 3.5 years + the millennials/Zs have NO fears walking away from a job - even a prestige job if it doesn't give them the LIFE they want. My parents want to debate over and over and over again that absolutely NO ONE would ever leave Goldman Sachs or Skadden ever so of course they'll go back to the office and jump on the employer's command. Sure some % would never leave Goldman or Skadden, but there's another % that HAS left because they've decided they want to do other things, live a different way that they'll enjoy more. Unthinkable.

I’m laughing because my husband and I can completely relate!

Totally -- PP was spot-on.

I suppose by most East Asian standards, I'm a failure. I graduated from an HYPS majoring in "useless liberal arts subjects" (English and Psych), and immediately matriculated to another Ivy for law school.

I was instantly horrified when I got to law school and dropped out after 1L. My parents were horrified, disgusted, frustrated, angry, and beyond disappointed -- we didn't talk to each other for about a year and a half after that. And when we did start talking again, it was for very brief, shallow conversations for most of my 20s.

They were horrified and disappointed that they couldn't brag to their friends and family from our East Asian country anymore that I was no longer an Ivy-educated law student. I spent a few years in my 20s after that as an outdoor educator (similar to being an Outward Bound instructor), which is basically unheard of for East Asians. I was the only Asian woman in most of these outdoorsy workplaces.

It all worked out though -- the soft skills I gained from that job led me to gain admission to a fully-funded PhD program, and I'm currently a clinical psychologist making around ~$300k/year. Ironically, many of my patients are 2nd-gen Asian Americans who sought me out specifically because there's a shortage of Asian psychologists.

There is a lot of pain, grief, and dysfunction underneath the seemingly functional and wealthy facades. Many high-achieving 2nd-gen Asian-Americans have a very poor sense of self, and PP is accurate that they have very little clue about their own likes/dislikes and own preferences. Marriages and interpersonal relationships are often strained because lots of tiger cubs aren't able to generously offer intimacy in relationships (although rarely do they divorce -- that's a big no no in the culture).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Underachiever here - age 43 - 225k as a lawyer at a financial regulator. Did the biglaw thing for 8 years so I guess I made money there, but not the type of money that associates make now and I had no prayer of making partner. Yes I'm plenty Americanized with ivy degrees and all but coming up for partner in 2008 in NYC didn't help - no one was going to stick their neck out for me and my career never recovered. So here I am stuck in government.

you are not an underachiever....

Objectively I get that but it doesn't feel that way when every uncle in town - and to an extent my own parents - are constantly like partner partner partner, you didn't make partner, after all that money your parents spent sending you to the ivys blah blah. They act like the 2008 recession was a personal failing. Sure I guess it was a personal failing to not want to jump to another firm and slog it out for another 5 years to try to make it, but I just didn't have it in me to work the 80-90 hr NYC weeks for that much longer with no guarantees; another thing these uncles - most of whom never worked more than 40.0 hours a day in their lives in engineering do not understand. (I do understand that many many Indian immigrants slogged out much much longer hours, but the ones judging me were all in engineering and all had the 40 hours and I'm checked out by 5 pm lives.)

You need to live your life per what pleases you. Tell your uncles, parents they are no longer in the “old country” where you’re never good enough as a person if you don’t excel professionally. Life really is very temporary, a game of sorts and sadly the legacy Indian culture is blind to this fact. Refreshingly with newer generations, I’m seeing Indian kids become teachers, journalists, firemen, cops, chefs, etc. The fear factor decreases with each generation.

+1000. I frankly wouldn't even tell them anything bc you can't teach a 70 or 80 year old who isn't willing to learn. Just ignore, live your life, enjoy your great salary and benefits while NOT working 90 hours/week.

But listen sometimes about how unhappy some of these 70-80+ year olds in our community really are. They never lived their own lives - it was all about what THEIR mommies and daddies wanted them to do and then they turned around and hovered over their own kids for the next 30 years. I mean it's sad that an entire generation of elders lived life out of obligation, to impress the Patels or the Khans or whomever, and really don't even know themselves, their own likes/dislikes, don't have any hobbies besides counting money - their own and everyone else's. And now all they can do is sit around and gossip about you - because the only way to feel better is to put someone else down.

I'm super proud of our younger generations - the kids who are currently in their 20s. Their 50 year old parents have backed off to an extent - and if they haven't - these 21 year olds have no problem telling mom and dad to shove it, as they get jobs in urban planning, speech therapy, and whatever else they want to do. Sorry auntie and uncle, not everyone dreams of being an engineer, dr, or lawyer.

I completely agree. I have a lot of sympathy because they had to sacrifice everything and never got to live out their own personal dreams, especially the women. So they transport their unfulfilled ambitions on their children and grandchildren. Moreover they are guilty of wanting to impress friends and neighbors with their kids’ accomplishments. Unfortunately, our parents information about work, college and everything else is so outdated and completely wrong. So it just leads to debates IMO.

I have sympathy in a way and then I don't. I get it - tons of sacrifice, providing for the kids, the women were never allowed to have dreams, frankly the men weren't either bc they were living out whatever lives their parents wanted for them. But some of these people are in their 70s-80s now, meaning their own Indian-American kids launched some 20+ years ago. If they could back off of hovering over their kids' and grandkids' lives and still being soooo concerned with what auntie so and so will think of where their grandson is going to college, they could LIVE NOW. Sure no one can turn back the hands of time and pursue a dream profession that you would have pursued at age 25. But you can have hobbies, travel, write, hike, whatever you want; lots of these people have serious money too - so it's not like financially strapped retirees.

But nope instead they'd rather sit in judgment of everyone and debate issues of work, school, which are COMPLETELY different now than they were in 1985. If I have to debate ONE more time with my parents that hybrid work is not going to last and everyone is going back to the office just like they were in 1998, I will scream. First off they've been retired for decades so they don't get what work is like now. Second off - uh hybrid has lasted on the east coast for 3.5 years + the millennials/Zs have NO fears walking away from a job - even a prestige job if it doesn't give them the LIFE they want. My parents want to debate over and over and over again that absolutely NO ONE would ever leave Goldman Sachs or Skadden ever so of course they'll go back to the office and jump on the employer's command. Sure some % would never leave Goldman or Skadden, but there's another % that HAS left because they've decided they want to do other things, live a different way that they'll enjoy more. Unthinkable.

I’m laughing because my husband and I can completely relate!

Totally -- PP was spot-on.

I suppose by most East Asian standards, I'm a failure. I graduated from an HYPS majoring in "useless liberal arts subjects" (English and Psych), and immediately matriculated to another Ivy for law school.

I was instantly horrified when I got to law school and dropped out after 1L. My parents were horrified, disgusted, frustrated, angry, and beyond disappointed -- we didn't talk to each other for about a year and a half after that. And when we did start talking again, it was for very brief, shallow conversations for most of my 20s.

They were horrified and disappointed that they couldn't brag to their friends and family from our East Asian country anymore that I was no longer an Ivy-educated law student. I spent a few years in my 20s after that as an outdoor educator (similar to being an Outward Bound instructor), which is basically unheard of for East Asians. I was the only Asian woman in most of these outdoorsy workplaces.

It all worked out though -- the soft skills I gained from that job led me to gain admission to a fully-funded PhD program, and I'm currently a clinical psychologist making around ~$300k/year. Ironically, many of my patients are 2nd-gen Asian Americans who sought me out specifically because there's a shortage of Asian psychologists.

There is a lot of pain, grief, and dysfunction underneath the seemingly functional and wealthy facades. Many high-achieving 2nd-gen Asian-Americans have a very poor sense of self, and PP is accurate that they have very little clue about their own likes/dislikes and own preferences. Marriages and interpersonal relationships are often strained because lots of tiger cubs aren't able to generously offer intimacy in relationships (although rarely do they divorce -- that's a big no no in the culture).

You are insufferable. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

SAH wife. 56. I make around 60k from my savings.

[Anonymous]

Typical DCUM.

They are not creative, only robots. That’s why they are successful.

They are not charitable, only selfish. That’s why they have money.

The bias and stereotyping from the “hate has no home here yard sign” DCUM cried when it comes to Indians and Asians as a whole never fails.

[Anonymous]

47yo Filipina-American here making a lowly $100K as a graphic artist. Occasionally I sell art and teach on the side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Typical DCUM.

They are not creative, only robots. That’s why they are successful.

They are not charitable, only selfish. That’s why they have money.

The bias and stereotyping from the “hate has no home here yard sign” DCUM cried when it comes to Indians and Asians as a whole never fails.

Totally!

Although sometimes the anti-Asian racism comes from the Asians themselves (as is evidenced by the annoying psychologist PP)