DS’s friend told DS his parents got divorced

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well. I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly. If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter. If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.

I remember years ago, I saw a dad clearly on a date. Our kids were good friends but the parents weren’t really my personal friends. I totally thought the dad was cheating. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything so I didn’t. They hosted a birthday party and I remember thinking dad was sketchy. A few months passed and we saw dad and son at a mutual friend’s house. I casually asked where the mom was and my mutual friend told me that they were getting divorced. The mom cheated and left the dad. I felt bad for judging the dad on a date.

The lesson is “don’t judge” not everyone tells you about their life so you don’t judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well. I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly. If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter. If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.

I remember years ago, I saw a dad clearly on a date. Our kids were good friends but the parents weren’t really my personal friends. I totally thought the dad was cheating. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything so I didn’t. They hosted a birthday party and I remember thinking dad was sketchy. A few months passed and we saw dad and son at a mutual friend’s house. I casually asked where the mom was and my mutual friend told me that they were getting divorced. The mom cheated and left the dad. I felt bad for judging the dad on a date.

The lesson is “don’t judge” not everyone tells you about their life so you don’t judge.

Or don't be so secretive or else people will fill in the blanks with their imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm LOL that so many people on this thread think their divorce is some bit of classified information.

It’s not classified information, but it’s not anyone’s business either. Unless you’re a gossipy old biddy that is.

Yup, MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well. I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly. If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter. If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.

I remember years ago, I saw a dad clearly on a date. Our kids were good friends but the parents weren’t really my personal friends. I totally thought the dad was cheating. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything so I didn’t. They hosted a birthday party and I remember thinking dad was sketchy. A few months passed and we saw dad and son at a mutual friend’s house. I casually asked where the mom was and my mutual friend told me that they were getting divorced. The mom cheated and left the dad. I felt bad for judging the dad on a date.

The lesson is “don’t judge” not everyone tells you about their life so you don’t judge.

Or don't be so secretive or else people will fill in the blanks with their imagination.

I could not care less what Larlas friends Mom’s book club imagines about me.

For ever person you meet they have a story in their head about you that is not true.

It’s good to understand that to get through middle school.

You seem to still act like a tween.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me. It’s been two years now. Mom now has a baby with the new boyfriend who moved into the house. She still hasn’t actually TOLD me she got divorced.

Mom does not owe anyone an explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well. I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly. If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter. If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.

I remember years ago, I saw a dad clearly on a date. Our kids were good friends but the parents weren’t really my personal friends. I totally thought the dad was cheating. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything so I didn’t. They hosted a birthday party and I remember thinking dad was sketchy. A few months passed and we saw dad and son at a mutual friend’s house. I casually asked where the mom was and my mutual friend told me that they were getting divorced. The mom cheated and left the dad. I felt bad for judging the dad on a date.

The lesson is “don’t judge” not everyone tells you about their life so you don’t judge.

Or don't be so secretive or else people will fill in the blanks with their imagination.

I could not care less what Larlas friends Mom’s book club imagines about me.

For ever person you meet they have a story in their head about you that is not true.

It’s good to understand that to get through middle school.

You seem to still act like a tween.

You don’t think it would be the slightest bit strange if you are family friends/acquaintances and all of a sudden, your husband or ex husband is out with another woman. Then your child’s friend’s mom may notice and think your husband is cheating on you.

I guess you can think others should just MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well. I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly. If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter. If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.

I remember years ago, I saw a dad clearly on a date. Our kids were good friends but the parents weren’t really my personal friends. I totally thought the dad was cheating. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything so I didn’t. They hosted a birthday party and I remember thinking dad was sketchy. A few months passed and we saw dad and son at a mutual friend’s house. I casually asked where the mom was and my mutual friend told me that they were getting divorced. The mom cheated and left the dad. I felt bad for judging the dad on a date.

The lesson is “don’t judge” not everyone tells you about their life so you don’t judge.

Or don't be so secretive or else people will fill in the blanks with their imagination.

I could not care less what Larlas friends Mom’s book club imagines about me.

For ever person you meet they have a story in their head about you that is not true.

It’s good to understand that to get through middle school.

You seem to still act like a tween.

That's fine. We don't care what you think about us either! But we sure as hell enjoy discussing it! Life is boring, gossip helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well. I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly. If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter. If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.

I remember years ago, I saw a dad clearly on a date. Our kids were good friends but the parents weren’t really my personal friends. I totally thought the dad was cheating. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything so I didn’t. They hosted a birthday party and I remember thinking dad was sketchy. A few months passed and we saw dad and son at a mutual friend’s house. I casually asked where the mom was and my mutual friend told me that they were getting divorced. The mom cheated and left the dad. I felt bad for judging the dad on a date.

The lesson is “don’t judge” not everyone tells you about their life so you don’t judge.

Or don't be so secretive or else people will fill in the blanks with their imagination.

I could not care less what Larlas friends Mom’s book club imagines about me.

For ever person you meet they have a story in their head about you that is not true.

It’s good to understand that to get through middle school.

You seem to still act like a tween.

That's fine. We don't care what you think about us either! But we sure as hell enjoy discussing it! Life is boring, gossip helps.

Maybe you should find something interesting to occupy your time with. My life is anything but boring. I have plenty to do without having to occupy myself with other people's relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well. I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly. If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter. If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.

I remember years ago, I saw a dad clearly on a date. Our kids were good friends but the parents weren’t really my personal friends. I totally thought the dad was cheating. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything so I didn’t. They hosted a birthday party and I remember thinking dad was sketchy. A few months passed and we saw dad and son at a mutual friend’s house. I casually asked where the mom was and my mutual friend told me that they were getting divorced. The mom cheated and left the dad. I felt bad for judging the dad on a date.

The lesson is “don’t judge” not everyone tells you about their life so you don’t judge.

Or don't be so secretive or else people will fill in the blanks with their imagination.

I could not care less what Larlas friends Mom’s book club imagines about me.

For ever person you meet they have a story in their head about you that is not true.

It’s good to understand that to get through middle school.

You seem to still act like a tween.

That's fine. We don't care what you think about us either! But we sure as hell enjoy discussing it! Life is boring, gossip helps.

Maybe you should find something interesting to occupy your time with. My life is anything but boring. I have plenty to do without having to occupy myself with other people's relationships.

There are entire reality show empires built on people's interest in the relationships of others.

[Anonymous]

This thread is amazing. So many people who cannot understand what it means to live in a community or have friends or social acquaintances. Glad I don't live near any of y'all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well. I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly. If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter. If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.

I remember years ago, I saw a dad clearly on a date. Our kids were good friends but the parents weren’t really my personal friends. I totally thought the dad was cheating. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything so I didn’t. They hosted a birthday party and I remember thinking dad was sketchy. A few months passed and we saw dad and son at a mutual friend’s house. I casually asked where the mom was and my mutual friend told me that they were getting divorced. The mom cheated and left the dad. I felt bad for judging the dad on a date.

The lesson is “don’t judge” not everyone tells you about their life so you don’t judge.

Or don't be so secretive or else people will fill in the blanks with their imagination.

I could not care less what Larlas friends Mom’s book club imagines about me.

For ever person you meet they have a story in their head about you that is not true.

It’s good to understand that to get through middle school.

You seem to still act like a tween.

You don’t think it would be the slightest bit strange if you are family friends/acquaintances and all of a sudden, your husband or ex husband is out with another woman. Then your child’s friend’s mom may notice and think your husband is cheating on you.

I guess you can think others should just MYOB.

If you added up all my kids classmate, soccer mates, football families, every kid in the band, all the ladies at book club, the people I say hi to walking my dog, my coworkers, and I could go on…, I’d have to tell about 500 people.

So it’s actually more odd you think some random mom who my kid plays with needs me to notify her.

I’ve even said to some friend, “you know I’m divorced right” it’s hard to remember who I told and who you haven’t told.

You sound like you know 10 people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

I am not OP.

OP said her family vacationed in the past with this family.

Would you naively assume it’s OK to invite the ex / separated dad along on the next vacation?

Or would you maybe find that a little awkward? (I sure as hell would).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well. I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly. If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter. If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.

I remember years ago, I saw a dad clearly on a date. Our kids were good friends but the parents weren’t really my personal friends. I totally thought the dad was cheating. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything so I didn’t. They hosted a birthday party and I remember thinking dad was sketchy. A few months passed and we saw dad and son at a mutual friend’s house. I casually asked where the mom was and my mutual friend told me that they were getting divorced. The mom cheated and left the dad. I felt bad for judging the dad on a date.

The lesson is “don’t judge” not everyone tells you about their life so you don’t judge.

Or don't be so secretive or else people will fill in the blanks with their imagination.

I could not care less what Larlas friends Mom’s book club imagines about me.

For ever person you meet they have a story in their head about you that is not true.

It’s good to understand that to get through middle school.

You seem to still act like a tween.

That's fine. We don't care what you think about us either! But we sure as hell enjoy discussing it! Life is boring, gossip helps.

Exactly, that’s why I’m not friends with people like you. I don’t gossip because it’s against my moral upbringing.

It’s probably also why some people don’t know because my friends don’t gossip.

If my xH runs into someone when he is with a date or GF he tells me. If I know them next time I see them I’ll say something. Oh yea I heard you ran into Joe he and I divorced 2 years ago.

If he goes up to them an introduces his GF. People cheating don’t do that.

[Anonymous]

This happened to us at the beginning of the pandemic. Kids were about 8 and one casually said several times their parents were divorcing. This kid tells tall tales, so I didn't believe it until my kid was like "Yeah, it seems true." I saw the mom and said "Hey you can ignore me if this is kids being silly, but Larlo told Larla you and Bob are getting divorced. If so, we're here to support you!" They indeed were divorcing. Never got a story, didn't need it. But I did think the parents should know if it wasn't true (and in our situation this could have been the case).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce.

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation.

Why do you “need to know?”

I am not OP.

OP said her family vacationed in the past with this family.

Would you naively assume it’s OK to invite the ex / separated dad along on the next vacation?

Or would you maybe find that a little awkward? (I sure as hell would).

I’ve vacationed with people that I haven’t seen in 10 years but if they invited us I would call and say hey we are divorced so no thanks, or hey we’d love to go if that’s weird for you just let me know we obviously need different sleeping arrangements.

My xH and I have to travel together ever weekend in the Fall because our son plays football D1 and it’s really not an issue. We even have rented Airbnbs with other families.