DS’s friend told DS his parents got divorced

[Anonymous]

We have known this family for years. We didn’t see or talk to them all summer and DS said the boy told him his parents got divorced a few months ago. I saw the mom today and was friendly as usual.

Do I say anything? Just act like I don’t know?

Would a kid know the difference between divorce and separation?

[Anonymous]

I think the kid would probably know the gist of it so if he says divorce I’d assume that’s the end result even if not all the t’s have been crossed.
I’d text whatever parent you know better and say something like Billy told me you and Bob are getting divorced. I’m sorry to hear it. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.

When a friend was going through it. I offered to watch her kid whenever she needed to be in court or mediation.

[Anonymous]

MYOB

[Anonymous]

No you don’t say anything. They’ll share with you when ready.

[Anonymous]

I agree MYOB.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me. It’s been two years now. Mom now has a baby with the new boyfriend who moved into the house. She still hasn’t actually TOLD me she got divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have known this family for years. We didn’t see or talk to them all summer and DS said the boy told him his parents got divorced a few months ago. I saw the mom today and was friendly as usual.

Do I say anything? Just act like I don’t know?

Would a kid know the difference between divorce and separation?

How old are the kids?

In this situation, I would probably say, "Hey, Sam told me that Ryan said you and Ryan's dad split up this summer. How are you doing?" if I was at all friendly with her. I couldn't just be normal and act like I didn't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me. It’s been two years now. Mom now has a baby with the new boyfriend who moved into the house. She still hasn’t actually TOLD me she got divorced.

Seems like she doesn't need to "actually tell you" anything, and you seem kind of judgy about it so I can see why she maybe wouldn't want to.

[Anonymous]

I would MMOB. If someone asked me about it I would think they were going to be gossipy, even with their offer to help. Get some class, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would MMOB. If someone asked me about it I would think they were going to be gossipy, even with their offer to help. Get some class, people.

Plus one

[Anonymous]

You keep being courteous to both parents. This is very important. They are in recovery mode and need people to be compassionate, and not nosy. If neither tells you, it means you cannot really ask questions, unless for some reason you feel you're a little closer than that, and can ask whether they are OK. Sometimes, that's acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for MYOB!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You keep being courteous to both parents. This is very important. They are in recovery mode and need people to be compassionate, and not nosy. If neither tells you, it means you cannot really ask questions, unless for some reason you feel you're a little closer than that, and can ask whether they are OK. Sometimes, that's acceptable.

I mean we have hung out as families for years. Seems strange not to say anything. I will just not mention it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have known this family for years. We didn’t see or talk to them all summer and DS said the boy told him his parents got divorced a few months ago. I saw the mom today and was friendly as usual.

Do I say anything? Just act like I don’t know?

Would a kid know the difference between divorce and separation?

How old are the kids?

In this situation, I would probably say, "Hey, Sam told me that Ryan said you and Ryan's dad split up this summer. How are you doing?" if I was at all friendly with her. I couldn't just be normal and act like I didn't know.

This would make me uncomfortable. Don’t do this, OP. The son could get blowback from the parent, too, on the lines of “why are you telling your friends about our divorce?!”. You never know. Let them tell you their own time. They’ll appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You keep being courteous to both parents. This is very important. They are in recovery mode and need people to be compassionate, and not nosy. If neither tells you, it means you cannot really ask questions, unless for some reason you feel you're a little closer than that, and can ask whether they are OK. Sometimes, that's acceptable.

I mean we have hung out as families for years. Seems strange not to say anything. I will just not mention it.

Oh, spare us the bullshit. You didn’t talk to them all summer and they haven’t said anything to you about it themselves. You’re not that close. MYOB.