How do you raise well mannered and polite children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do "gentle parenting". Teach obedience. Underrated skill these days.

Model politeness yourself (don't snap at wait staff, say please and thank you, etc.).

Nip interrupting habits in the bud. We started teaching our child not to interrupt at 2. It is still a work in progress but we do not tolerate it.

I promise that your kid will one day either run away or completely rebel against everything you teach them. It’s a story as old as time.

Oh really? Most kids I see who have nice manners have parents who instilled it in them. It doesn’t mean they’re kept on a short leash. It just means they’re taught to be kind to people, address adults appropriately, say please and thank you, make conversation, hold the door open, make eye contact and smile. It’s not difficult.

I do all that and am instilling it in my kids, but also do "gentle parenting." My kids are super polite.

I think the key is modeling, plus I use a lot of positive reinforcement, like praising my kids for sitting up and saying please and thank you and no interrupting when we go out to dinner. If they fail to do those things, I don't harp on it but I don't praise, and we might leave dinner early or skip a treat afterwards. But it's not really a punishment, just a recognition that my kids aren't in the right space to be out in public that day.

You can raise polite kids and still be gentle. I'd argue those are complimentary goals, actually, since gentle parenting is mostly about not yelling or losing your cool, neither of which is polite.

[Anonymous]

In addition to modeling we constantly talk about others experiences. We attach politeness to empathy. That helps our kids understand it as important beyond just “this is a random social construct that I have to follow.”

If our kids understand the “why” it is easier for them to make correct real time decisions on the “what”.

A mom with a stroller, an older person, or an individual with a disability coming out the door behind you? Always wait and hold the door for them. A group of 1000 able bodied students leaving school the same time as you? Just make sure you don’t let it slam in the face of the person behind you.

[Anonymous]

I used to teach in Kuwait and many of my students were physically punished if they misbehaved.

[Anonymous]

It's a different way of raising children, a combination of modeling and reinforcement.

Arabs dote on kids when they are very young. You rarely see them correcting or punishing very young kids. They do have a cult of revering parents so you will rarely see an Arab child rude to their parents. Certainly not to the mother!!!

Then there is a cult of hospitality and being super polite and welcoming to the guests. And just an overall social premium on good manners. I have never seen a rude Arab child.