How do you raise well mannered and polite children?

[Anonymous]

You need to use the manners you want from them, whenever you are with them, whenever they can see you, whenever you speak to them. You can’t not ask your husband “please” and then expect your child to say “please”.

[Anonymous]

Set a good example. Then set expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The vast majority of kids are polite and well-mannered. This is the norm.

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Authoritarian politics and bodily harm seem to work of that's important to you...

[Anonymous]

Teach them at home, send them to Sunday School and enroll them in etiquette classes.

[Anonymous]

Why is this hard ?

Treat them with respect. Start when they are born.

Don’t remind them constantly that’s ridiculous. All that is going to do is make your kid feel like they never do anything right.

They emulate you.

I never once had to do that with any of mine and I have six. I have always been told how polite and respectful mine are and they are now grown.

Given the Maga behavior and Bible trumpets spewing now make sure they know if your family reads and values a bible that behavior is unacceptable period. No one ding me on this part bec MTG and her band of clown cars have zero respect for other humans. Easy example as to what not to raise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this hard ?

Treat them with respect. Start when they are born.

Don’t remind them constantly that’s ridiculous. All that is going to do is make your kid feel like they never do anything right.

They emulate you.

I never once had to do that with any of mine and I have six. I have always been told how polite and respectful mine are and they are now grown.

Given the Maga behavior and Bible trumpets spewing now make sure they know if your family reads and values a bible that behavior is unacceptable period. No one ding me on this part bec MTG and her band of clown cars have zero respect for other humans. Easy example as to what not to raise.

Wow, you are so polite and respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in Kuwait visiting family and I am pleased with how well mannered and polite the Kuwaiti teens and children are. I wonder how one would instill such nice manners in children.

Ask their parents, not the parents of ill-mannered impolite people back home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For starters, don't give a kid what they want when they're demanding something. I require a nice tone and the word please before giving it to them. Sometimes my kids have to try multiple times.

"give me the ketchup", -no, try again.
(Irritated)"give me the ketchup please"- no, try again.
(Nice tone),"can you please give me the ketchup" - yes, here it is.

This is what we do.
My kids recently got into the bad habit of responding to question with “yeah” instead on “yes” or “yes, please”. So when they say “yeah” we ask them to try again.

[Anonymous]

We've always modeled the behavior we want to see. As adults we always treat each other and people outside the family politely, with please and thank you and sorry and whatever, and expect the same from our child. There was a lot of reminding when our son was smaller, but now that's he's 10 he's pretty good about being polite himself. He actually got on our case recently because we were in an airport going from one plane to another when another man stopped my H to tell him he left something behind on the plane. In the madness of running back and forth, we forgot to say thank you to the man and believe me our son did not let us forget it!

[Anonymous]

Authoritative discipline. You have to watch your children, praise manners, discipline poor manners. Note- this is not authoritarian or abusive parenting.

I’d argue that lax or gentle parenting is worse than authoritarian parents who spank and yell. Kids like knowing boundaries and rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like tips on this as well.

My kid is actually pretty polite to other people but has recently become quite rude to us at home. I thought we were doing very well but obviously we've gone wrong somewhere because some of the behavior is quite bad. We don't tolerate it -- there are always consequences. Sometimes the consequences just provoke more rudeness though. She is 6.

This is also seeping into behavior towards others, however. While she is still very polite to people's faces, recently she threw a huge fit when I said we needed to write a thank you note for a gift a friend had sent. Just a few months ago this would have been a non-issue -- she is proud of her writing and loves sending/receiving mail, so this has never been a challenge in the 2-3 years that we've been doing it.

I am at a loss. I've been reading books on teaching children manners and dealing with rudeness in early elementary, but many of them focus on kids who never had these skills. For us it is a mystery because she's always been pretty mild-mannered and polite, helpful and kind at home. But lately she rolls her eyes at us, refuses to do basic things like clear her plate from the table, orders us around, or when she's really mad, says she hates us or wants us to die. I do not understand what has happened.

For what it's worth, we are always polite and respectful towards her, which I felt was a good way to teach manners and seemed to be working until recently.

I take it she just started school? I think you should read Hold on to Your Kids by Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld. http://library.lol/main/686ED65EDD0398F0C083645F89291786

[Anonymous]

People compliment my children's manners all the time. They are kind and well mannered. We raised them by good example. We never hit our kids. If they were out of line, they got time out but also we explained why and made them aware of other people's feelings and perspectives.

Every rude kid was trained by a rude parent.

[Anonymous]

I think public beatings/caning help to keep kids in line.

[Anonymous]

It is cultural
A child is a reflection of his/her environment