Husband won't take the kids swimming of even go with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?

I׳’m wondering this too. It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family.

Op here. This has been my norm for so long. The oldest was born when he was toward the end of a stem Ph.D. It was my norm to do things alone because he was busy. Our oldest is 7. I think he has anxiety and can't stop working. On the fourth, he worked at home while we went to the fireworks. He couldn't spare a few hours even though it was a PTO day. When the oldest was born, he left the hospital to work even though he could have called off work. My friend came to stay and was shocked he left. I had an emergency c section and the baby was in the NICU. He doesn't value outings. I get not wanting to go out all the time, but mostly every suggestion gets shut down, or he's whiny and wants to leave shortly after arriving. That's why I said he sucks the joy. He also tries to give me a bedtime. He sleeps super early so we never have alone time either. I can't remember the last time we watched tv together. He always finds something wrong with whatever tv show I want to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?

I׳’m wondering this too. It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family.

Eh, I know of people who don’t care for fireworks and never go.

Per OP, The husband doesn’t care for most activities that involve being with his family.

Op here. Yes, this. When we want to do an outing, his response is always I don't like that. I explained we need to comprise sometimes and he says I can just do all the outings. I explained that we want to do things as a family. I swear his mind doesn't get it or he's fuc***** with me.

He not a people person, or not a kid person. You want to do things as a family, he doesn't. He wants to enjoy home, you want to go out. Neither one of you is wrong. No one if fing with anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?

I׳’m wondering this too. It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family.

Op here. This has been my norm for so long. The oldest was born when he was toward the end of a stem Ph.D. It was my norm to do things alone because he was busy. Our oldest is 7. I think he has anxiety and can't stop working. On the fourth, he worked at home while we went to the fireworks. He couldn't spare a few hours even though it was a PTO day. When the oldest was born, he left the hospital to work even though he could have called off work. My friend came to stay and was shocked he left. I had an emergency c section and the baby was in the NICU. He doesn't value outings. I get not wanting to go out all the time, but mostly every suggestion gets shut down, or he's whiny and wants to leave shortly after arriving. That's why I said he sucks the joy. He also tries to give me a bedtime. He sleeps super early so we never have alone time either. I can't remember the last time we watched tv together. He always finds something wrong with whatever tv show I want to watch.

What does he want from life. Ask him. Why did you marry him? What did you want, and what did he offer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds pretty bad at parenting. What *is* he bringing to the table?

Swimming is non-negotiable for me. Maybe offer your husband to do all the housework and bedtime on days you do swimming?

He also doesn't like housework and I would have to nag the hell out of him to get ANYTHING done. He only cooks eggs one style, and the kids do not like eggs. I am so resentful and tired.

So what’s keeping you in this marriage?

I wonder that sometimes. Dh makes a lot more money. Who has a single parent swim membership but is married? Me. I'm tired of doing all the activities solo. It's not fair he can sit on his ass while I am out with the kids multiple times a week.

Take the lot more money and give it to a nanny. Problem solved. Add a 15% constulting fee for yourself if he doesn't want to set up the nanny.

Does you husband want the kids? Does he want a relationship with the kids? Does he want a relationship with you?


If he wants you but not the kids, or not do the work for the kids, let him pay to get away from the kids. It's OK. No need to resent that.
Tell kids dad provide for them, let them fill in the blanks.

Only here is a nanny suggested. This is op. We don't have enough money to employ nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?

I׳’m wondering this too. It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family.

Eh, I know of people who don’t care for fireworks and never go.

Per OP, The husband doesn’t care for most activities that involve being with his family.

Op here. Yes, this. When we want to do an outing, his response is always I don't like that. I explained we need to comprise sometimes and he says I can just do all the outings. I explained that we want to do things as a family. I swear his mind doesn't get it or he's fuc***** with me.

He not a people person, or not a kid person. You want to do things as a family, he doesn't. He wants to enjoy home, you want to go out. Neither one of you is wrong. No one if fing with anyone.

When you have kids, you have to take them out. Why is it always on me to do that? It's exhausting. He knows they need to go out and will ask me when or where I am taking them because they get antsy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?

I׳’m wondering this too. It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family.

Eh, I know of people who don’t care for fireworks and never go.

Per OP, The husband doesn’t care for most activities that involve being with his family.

Op here. Yes, this. When we want to do an outing, his response is always I don't like that. I explained we need to comprise sometimes and he says I can just do all the outings. I explained that we want to do things as a family. I swear his mind doesn't get it or he's fuc***** with me.

He not a people person, or not a kid person. You want to do things as a family, he doesn't. He wants to enjoy home, you want to go out. Neither one of you is wrong. No one if fing with anyone.

When you have kids, you have to take them out. Why is it always on me to do that? It's exhausting. He knows they need to go out and will ask me when or where I am taking them because they get antsy.

My parents almost never took us out. We lived.

[Anonymous]

You married the wrong guy OP! He is not a team player, it doesn’t have to be 50-50 but there has to be a balance, and this will only get worse the more you allow it. Do you have family living nearby to help you & also to see what’s going on? Sometimes having another man in the family to talk to him, model it for him or as a last resort shame him might help. Good luck and if all else fails, start your exit strategy. This is unacceptable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds pretty bad at parenting. What *is* he bringing to the table?

Swimming is non-negotiable for me. Maybe offer your husband to do all the housework and bedtime on days you do swimming?

He also doesn't like housework and I would have to nag the hell out of him to get ANYTHING done. He only cooks eggs one style, and the kids do not like eggs. I am so resentful and tired.

So what’s keeping you in this marriage?

I wonder that sometimes. Dh makes a lot more money. Who has a single parent swim membership but is married? Me. I'm tired of doing all the activities solo. It's not fair he can sit on his ass while I am out with the kids multiple times a week.

Take the lot more money and give it to a nanny. Problem solved. Add a 15% constulting fee for yourself if he doesn't want to set up the nanny.

Does you husband want the kids? Does he want a relationship with the kids? Does he want a relationship with you?


If he wants you but not the kids, or not do the work for the kids, let him pay to get away from the kids. It's OK. No need to resent that.
Tell kids dad provide for them, let them fill in the blanks.

Only here is a nanny suggested. This is op. We don't have enough money to employ nannies.

You said he makes a lot more money than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds pretty bad at parenting. What *is* he bringing to the table?

Swimming is non-negotiable for me. Maybe offer your husband to do all the housework and bedtime on days you do swimming?

He also doesn't like housework and I would have to nag the hell out of him to get ANYTHING done. He only cooks eggs one style, and the kids do not like eggs. I am so resentful and tired.

So what’s keeping you in this marriage?

I wonder that sometimes. Dh makes a lot more money. Who has a single parent swim membership but is married? Me. I'm tired of doing all the activities solo. It's not fair he can sit on his ass while I am out with the kids multiple times a week.

So your husband makes the money and provides for the family. That means it’s your job to raise the kids and support your husband. What part of this don’t you understand?

No. Take this nonsense back to 1955 where it belongs. Thanks.

Just because the wife has a fake “career” where she earns a small fraction of her husband’s income doesn’t mean she gets to dump all the child-raising on him.

Yawn. Go troll elsewhere. Try Parler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his job should be to take them to swimming lessons. That way it accomplishes three things:

1. They get to swim and enjoy the pool.
2. They get closer to independent swimming level where he won't have to hover (I also dislike doing this, fwiw).
3. The instructor is doing all the work so he can still be hands-off.

Op here. He won't do this. Swim lessons are 30 minutes. Right after that it's back to being in a life jacket. Those are the YMCA rules. I know because I have tried. He refuses to do any activity that requires driving and especially no go during Monday - Friday. Saturday is his day to work out. Sundays are generally a day they don't have swim lessons. I work today at my fake career, which is in the medical field, and I will be the one to take the 7-year-old to swim lessons at a private outdoor swim club. Once I come home from working 12 hours, he will need a nap right away. He gets exhausted from letting the kids watch three movies while I work.

Wow you really have a lot of contempt for your husband.

And deservedly so. What a pathetically lazy excuse for a parent he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?

I׳’m wondering this too. It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family.

Eh, I know of people who don’t care for fireworks and never go.

It isn’t about what he “cares for.” It’s doing things as a family, including holidays, that the kids he chose to have want to do with their FAMILY, not just their mom while their dad sits at home on his butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?

I׳’m wondering this too. It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family.

Eh, I know of people who don’t care for fireworks and never go.

Per OP, The husband doesn’t care for most activities that involve being with his family.

Op here. Yes, this. When we want to do an outing, his response is always I don't like that. I explained we need to comprise sometimes and he says I can just do all the outings. I explained that we want to do things as a family. I swear his mind doesn't get it or he's fuc***** with me.

He not a people person, or not a kid person. You want to do things as a family, he doesn't. He wants to enjoy home, you want to go out. Neither one of you is wrong. No one if fing with anyone.

When you have kids, you have to take them out. Why is it always on me to do that? It's exhausting. He knows they need to go out and will ask me when or where I am taking them because they get antsy.

My parents almost never took us out. We lived.

Sorry you had checked out parents.

[Anonymous]

Is he autistic? It sounds like he might be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds pretty bad at parenting. What *is* he bringing to the table?

Swimming is non-negotiable for me. Maybe offer your husband to do all the housework and bedtime on days you do swimming?

He also doesn't like housework and I would have to nag the hell out of him to get ANYTHING done. He only cooks eggs one style, and the kids do not like eggs. I am so resentful and tired.

So what’s keeping you in this marriage?

I wonder that sometimes. Dh makes a lot more money. Who has a single parent swim membership but is married? Me. I'm tired of doing all the activities solo. It's not fair he can sit on his ass while I am out with the kids multiple times a week.

Take the lot more money and give it to a nanny. Problem solved. Add a 15% constulting fee for yourself if he doesn't want to set up the nanny.

Does you husband want the kids? Does he want a relationship with the kids? Does he want a relationship with you?


If he wants you but not the kids, or not do the work for the kids, let him pay to get away from the kids. It's OK. No need to resent that.
Tell kids dad provide for them, let them fill in the blanks.

Only here is a nanny suggested. This is op. We don't have enough money to employ nannies.

You said he makes a lot more money than you.

That's because op is making this all up and people are falling for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

Ugh. I’m so sorry OP. I’m of the opinion that parents can not enjoy a certain task/activity (for example I hate playing board games with my kids - DH does it) and can skip things once in awhile but sounds like your DH won’t do ANY activities of any kind , ever. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Out of curiosity what IS he doing during these times? Like during fireworks? Or all afternoon while you are at the pool? Watching tv or something?

I׳’m wondering this too. It’s unusual not to go see the fireworks with the family.

Op here. This has been my norm for so long. The oldest was born when he was toward the end of a stem Ph.D. It was my norm to do things alone because he was busy. Our oldest is 7. I think he has anxiety and can't stop working. On the fourth, he worked at home while we went to the fireworks. He couldn't spare a few hours even though it was a PTO day. When the oldest was born, he left the hospital to work even though he could have called off work. My friend came to stay and was shocked he left. I had an emergency c section and the baby was in the NICU. He doesn't value outings. I get not wanting to go out all the time, but mostly every suggestion gets shut down, or he's whiny and wants to leave shortly after arriving. That's why I said he sucks the joy. He also tries to give me a bedtime. He sleeps super early so we never have alone time either. I can't remember the last time we watched tv together. He always finds something wrong with whatever tv show I want to watch.

If any of this is true I seriously have my doubts you both have some work to do and I do mean both.
You both come across as extremely rigid with narrow views and unwillingness to be flexible.