Husband won't take the kids swimming of even go with us.

[Anonymous]

Lazy parents like this are so ridiculous. He reminds me of the parents on the regular “do you play with your kids?” threads who immediately pipe up with “no! I don’t LIKE playing dollhouse or Candyland.”

No s***, Sherlock. Very, very few adults personally enjoy doing those things. It’s called parenting. Try it sometime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wait!? Another thread complaining about your husband!? Get out! So creative!!

Another idiotic, wannabe pithy comment from you. Get out! So creative!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds pretty bad at parenting. What *is* he bringing to the table?

Swimming is non-negotiable for me. Maybe offer your husband to do all the housework and bedtime on days you do swimming?

He also doesn't like housework and I would have to nag the hell out of him to get ANYTHING done. He only cooks eggs one style, and the kids do not like eggs. I am so resentful and tired.

So what’s keeping you in this marriage?

I wonder that sometimes. Dh makes a lot more money. Who has a single parent swim membership but is married? Me. I'm tired of doing all the activities solo. It's not fair he can sit on his ass while I am out with the kids multiple times a week.

So your husband makes the money and provides for the family. That means it’s your job to raise the kids and support your husband. What part of this don’t you understand?

No. Take this nonsense back to 1955 where it belongs. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

Oh, it’s “no fun?” Oh, damn. Well, good things parenting is only doing things that are fun.

[Anonymous]

I was in your same exact situation 15 years ago.
10 years ago I started the divorce process.

Life has been great since then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH handle ANY unpleasant tasks? Could he have a similar gripe about you? Something to think about. I’m sure you are not perfect.

Taking non swimmers (especially more than one) to the pool is no fun. Never was for me. As a family, go stay at a hotel or vrbo with a pool, and get the 7yo swimming confidently at least. Both you and DH, together. Likely he will be more inclined to assist on a vacation as opposed to a crowded pool full of neighbors. Lessons year round for both kids. Next summer work on your 4yo as above. YES you still need to watch like a hawk but you will be well on your way to having a far more pleasant time at the pool.

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

It’s not about the swimming.

Sounds like you are ready for marriage counseling or separation, whatever you would prefer.

Good luck to you OP.

[Anonymous]

Dropped my DH off the pool membership when my kids were 5 and 7. He hated the scene and would only go begrudgingly. Not my ideal situation, but I developed my own social network at the pool, and once the kids are a bit older, they don’t want to be around their parents at the pool anyway. Having said that, my DH took them to sports, scouts, camping, etc. I just accepted that we chose to spend our time with our children in different ways. I wouldn’t focus too much on the pool aspect - if he isn’t spending quality time with the kids on something, that’s the issue. Married 25 years with well adjusted kids. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t let the small stuff derail that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dropped my DH off the pool membership when my kids were 5 and 7. He hated the scene and would only go begrudgingly. Not my ideal situation, but I developed my own social network at the pool, and once the kids are a bit older, they don’t want to be around their parents at the pool anyway. Having said that, my DH took them to sports, scouts, camping, etc. I just accepted that we chose to spend our time with our children in different ways. I wouldn’t focus too much on the pool aspect - if he isn’t spending quality time with the kids on something, that’s the issue. Married 25 years with well adjusted kids. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t let the small stuff derail that.

It's nice to read a post from a sane, non-whiny person with a healthy marriage and a positive outlook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropped my DH off the pool membership when my kids were 5 and 7. He hated the scene and would only go begrudgingly. Not my ideal situation, but I developed my own social network at the pool, and once the kids are a bit older, they don’t want to be around their parents at the pool anyway. Having said that, my DH took them to sports, scouts, camping, etc. I just accepted that we chose to spend our time with our children in different ways. I wouldn’t focus too much on the pool aspect - if he isn’t spending quality time with the kids on something, that’s the issue. Married 25 years with well adjusted kids. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t let the small stuff derail that.

It's nice to read a post from a sane, non-whiny person with a healthy marriage and a positive outlook.

Except it was doing ago. Shes forgot how she rely felt.

[Anonymous]

Youre already acting like a single parent. May as well make it official so you're not resentful too. You can make all the decisions in your own home and then you'll get a break when they're with him every other weekend (that's how much it sounds like he'll take on). My parent's divorce was very good for me and my sibling, we didn't end up growing up with his constant negativity.

He clearly doesn't love you or his kids.

[Anonymous]

Maybe his job should be to take them to swimming lessons. That way it accomplishes three things:

1. They get to swim and enjoy the pool.
2. They get closer to independent swimming level where he won't have to hover (I also dislike doing this, fwiw).
3. The instructor is doing all the work so he can still be hands-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds pretty bad at parenting. What *is* he bringing to the table?

Swimming is non-negotiable for me. Maybe offer your husband to do all the housework and bedtime on days you do swimming?

He also doesn't like housework and I would have to nag the hell out of him to get ANYTHING done. He only cooks eggs one style, and the kids do not like eggs. I am so resentful and tired.

So what’s keeping you in this marriage?

I wonder that sometimes. Dh makes a lot more money. Who has a single parent swim membership but is married? Me. I'm tired of doing all the activities solo. It's not fair he can sit on his ass while I am out with the kids multiple times a week.

So your husband makes the money and provides for the family. That means it’s your job to raise the kids and support your husband. What part of this don’t you understand?

No. Take this nonsense back to 1955 where it belongs. Thanks.

Just because the wife has a fake “career” where she earns a small fraction of her husband’s income doesn’t mean she gets to dump all the child-raising on him.

[Anonymous]

This is op. He wouldn't swim even on our beach vacation in the swimming pool. He sucks all the joy out of my life. I have been working on swimming for years with our 7-year-old. He loves water play but is very scared to emerge his face in the water for more than a few seconds. We do lessons, but of course, I need to drive them. All the unpleasant is on me. If I didn't do it, I would be in zero activities. It's a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I am a single mom sometimes. I'm always the only solo parent. I feel like this, even on vacations. I took the kids to see the fireworks on the fourth alone!! Who dies when they are married?

The OP is either a troll or she is bat$$hit crazy. Maybe both.

At first, she was just doing the normal DCUM "I am the martyr wife whose DH does not do X when I really need him to." Now, he is sucking all the joy out of her life. Really?

All the joy in her life is related to pool days with her kids? She feels like a single mom sometimes?

NEWS FLASH!! - Every parent feels, at some point, that they carry the parenting responsibilities all on their own. And most of us can feel this way without asking "Who dies when they married?"

So, OP, grow up and STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his job should be to take them to swimming lessons. That way it accomplishes three things:

1. They get to swim and enjoy the pool.
2. They get closer to independent swimming level where he won't have to hover (I also dislike doing this, fwiw).
3. The instructor is doing all the work so he can still be hands-off.

Op here. He won't do this. Swim lessons are 30 minutes. Right after that it's back to being in a life jacket. Those are the YMCA rules. I know because I have tried. He refuses to do any activity that requires driving and especially no go during Monday - Friday. Saturday is his day to work out. Sundays are generally a day they don't have swim lessons. I work today at my fake career, which is in the medical field, and I will be the one to take the 7-year-old to swim lessons at a private outdoor swim club. Once I come home from working 12 hours, he will need a nap right away. He gets exhausted from letting the kids watch three movies while I work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe his job should be to take them to swimming lessons. That way it accomplishes three things:

1. They get to swim and enjoy the pool.
2. They get closer to independent swimming level where he won't have to hover (I also dislike doing this, fwiw).
3. The instructor is doing all the work so he can still be hands-off.

Op here. He won't do this. Swim lessons are 30 minutes. Right after that it's back to being in a life jacket. Those are the YMCA rules. I know because I have tried. He refuses to do any activity that requires driving and especially no go during Monday - Friday. Saturday is his day to work out. Sundays are generally a day they don't have swim lessons. I work today at my fake career, which is in the medical field, and I will be the one to take the 7-year-old to swim lessons at a private outdoor swim club. Once I come home from working 12 hours, he will need a nap right away. He gets exhausted from letting the kids watch three movies while I work.

Wow you really have a lot of contempt for your husband.