Open Marriage with kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be careful and avoid telling a child. We learned of a couple's open marriage from our child whose friend had told her about her parents having boyfriends and girlfriends at school. She announced it in class so the entire grade found out in a day.

If you are not hiding it from the world, why hide it from the kids?

Because your poor kids might not have any friends

Explain

?? Not sure if you are playing dumb or actually dumb. Once your kid finds out, his friends will find out. Once they find out, their parents will find out... Do you think friends' parents will let their kids come near your kid? No way in hell that's going to happen. I am not trying to stop you. YOu can go around screw anyone or anything you want to screw but don't pretend this won't affect your kids.

You don’t understand- people like this pretend their kids are just extensions of them. They don’t care how it makes their kids feel. Their kids are supposed to feel exactly as they do and not have their own feelings. They are supposed to accept any behavior and be ok with it. If they feel ick inside because mom and dad are banging anything that moves openly- so what? Kids feelings don’t matter! Only banging matters. Open banging is better. It’s all above board because it’s known! Meanwhile kids get pushed aside for bang partners and everyone has to smile and be so mature and accepting!

-adult whose parents did this, it was gross and embarrassing and confusing.

I can't even imagine... So sorry.

I would not want any kid to have that kind of family life. Op sees everything through her eyes. She needs to consider her children. I am seriously upset at people who put their kids through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be careful and avoid telling a child. We learned of a couple's open marriage from our child whose friend had told her about her parents having boyfriends and girlfriends at school. She announced it in class so the entire grade found out in a day.

If you are not hiding it from the world, why hide it from the kids?

Because your poor kids might not have any friends

Explain

?? Not sure if you are playing dumb or actually dumb. Once your kid finds out, his friends will find out. Once they find out, their parents will find out... Do you think friends' parents will let their kids come near your kid? No way in hell that's going to happen. I am not trying to stop you. YOu can go around screw anyone or anything you want to screw but don't pretend this won't affect your kids.

You’re dumb if you think this applies to middle and high schoolers, or that all parents of younger kids care about friends’ parents having side pieces.

[Anonymous]

Open marriages don’t necessarily equal banging and bringing home anything that moves.

[Anonymous]

I sure hope OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was mortified by my parents even *kissing* in front of me. The idea of interjecting (numerous) other adults into that dynamic makes me actually want to vomit. Were you people never 14 years old before? Wtf.

This. OP I hope you are trolling. But, on the off chance you are not, your children DO NOT want to hear about or be involved in this in ANY WAY. They want their parents and family to be boring and LIKE OTHER PEOPLE. Get your exhibition kink out some other way, this ain't it. No lie you tell yourself about how this will be positive for them is true.

[Anonymous]

Just get a vibrator and make yourself happy and be done with it. Cheaper, simpler, no drama…

[Anonymous]

Just because you’re messed up and can’t provide a stable, nuclear family don’t mess your kids up with your deviance. It is selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was mortified by my parents even *kissing* in front of me. The idea of interjecting (numerous) other adults into that dynamic makes me actually want to vomit. Were you people never 14 years old before? Wtf.

This. OP I hope you are trolling. But, on the off chance you are not, your children DO NOT want to hear about or be involved in this in ANY WAY. They want their parents and family to be boring and LIKE OTHER PEOPLE. Get your exhibition ***kink*** out some other way, this ain't it. No lie you tell yourself about how this will be positive for them is true.

When did OP mention this?

[Anonymous]

In a traditional marriage it’s not ok and not normal to tell little kids details about your sex life.

But if you open the marriage, it seems like the topic is unavoidable so you should tell the kids you’re having sex with men other than their father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a traditional marriage it’s not ok and not normal to tell little kids details about your sex life.

But if you open the marriage, it seems like the topic is unavoidable so you should tell the kids you’re having sex with men other than their father.

I'm in an open marriage and so far it's been avoidable. My spouse is out of town a weekend every two months or so to see someone else and we just say it's a trip to see a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a traditional marriage it’s not ok and not normal to tell little kids details about your sex life.

But if you open the marriage, it seems like the topic is unavoidable so you should tell the kids you’re having sex with men other than their father.

I'm in an open marriage and so far it's been avoidable. My spouse is out of town a weekend every two months or so to see someone else and we just say it's a trip to see a friend.

How old are they and what will you do when they ask about the friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was mortified by my parents even *kissing* in front of me. The idea of interjecting (numerous) other adults into that dynamic makes me actually want to vomit. Were you people never 14 years old before? Wtf.

This. OP I hope you are trolling. But, on the off chance you are not, your children DO NOT want to hear about or be involved in this in ANY WAY. They want their parents and family to be boring and LIKE OTHER PEOPLE. Get your exhibition ***kink*** out some other way, this ain't it. No lie you tell yourself about how this will be positive for them is true.

When did OP mention this?

^^^ A very common ENM trait—neurodivergence. An extreme literal, unnuanced understanding of the world outside of their pudenda. Utterly incapable of reading social cues and inferences that everyone else, including their children, can make easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be careful and avoid telling a child. We learned of a couple's open marriage from our child whose friend had told her about her parents having boyfriends and girlfriends at school. She announced it in class so the entire grade found out in a day.

If you are not hiding it from the world, why hide it from the kids?

Because your poor kids might not have any friends

Explain

?? Not sure if you are playing dumb or actually dumb. Once your kid finds out, his friends will find out. Once they find out, their parents will find out... Do you think friends' parents will let their kids come near your kid? No way in hell that's going to happen. I am not trying to stop you. YOu can go around screw anyone or anything you want to screw but don't pretend this won't affect your kids.

You don’t understand- people like this pretend their kids are just extensions of them. They don’t care how it makes their kids feel. Their kids are supposed to feel exactly as they do and not have their own feelings. They are supposed to accept any behavior and be ok with it. If they feel ick inside because mom and dad are banging anything that moves openly- so what? Kids feelings don’t matter! Only banging matters. Open banging is better. It’s all above board because it’s known! Meanwhile kids get pushed aside for bang partners and everyone has to smile and be so mature and accepting!

-adult whose parents did this, it was gross and embarrassing and confusing.

I'm sorry. I'd consider that a form of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be careful and avoid telling a child. We learned of a couple's open marriage from our child whose friend had told her about her parents having boyfriends and girlfriends at school. She announced it in class so the entire grade found out in a day.

If you are not hiding it from the world, why hide it from the kids?

Because your poor kids might not have any friends

Explain

?? Not sure if you are playing dumb or actually dumb. Once your kid finds out, his friends will find out. Once they find out, their parents will find out... Do you think friends' parents will let their kids come near your kid? No way in hell that's going to happen. I am not trying to stop you. YOu can go around screw anyone or anything you want to screw but don't pretend this won't affect your kids.

You don’t understand- people like this pretend their kids are just extensions of them. They don’t care how it makes their kids feel. Their kids are supposed to feel exactly as they do and not have their own feelings. They are supposed to accept any behavior and be ok with it. If they feel ick inside because mom and dad are banging anything that moves openly- so what? Kids feelings don’t matter! Only banging matters. Open banging is better. It’s all above board because it’s known! Meanwhile kids get pushed aside for bang partners and everyone has to smile and be so mature and accepting!

-adult whose parents did this, it was gross and embarrassing and confusing.

I don't think most ENM couple is just about "banging anything that moves" (most ENM couples I know mostly engage in long-term relationships with their outside partners). However, there is a lot of truth to the rest of this and I think anyone with kids contemplating an open marriage should read it and think hard about what their expectations are in terms of their kids.

I think one reason the OP might not be ready for this is that they say that "monogamy is not an option" in their marriage. Monogamy, just like ENM, is always an option. I know multiple couples who have opened their marriages and later closed it back up, and kids were a factor in several cases. If your kid told you that they were opposed to your ENM marriage, not on moral grounds, but because it took you or your spouse away from the family more than they wanted, and they they felt robbed of more togetherness during their childhood, would you consider setting aside ENM to give your child what they are saying they need now? Because if the answer is a hard no, I think you might discover your kids are not necessarily as supportive of these choices as you hope.

It's one thing to ask someone to accept your sexual and relationship choices, to simply not judge you for setting up your relationship in a non-traditional way. But ENM couples aren't just asking their kids to accept their sexuality. They are asking them to accept a lifestyle for the entire family which might be inconvenient, limiting, and confusing for kids. That's a LOT to ask minor children of any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be careful and avoid telling a child. We learned of a couple's open marriage from our child whose friend had told her about her parents having boyfriends and girlfriends at school. She announced it in class so the entire grade found out in a day.

If you are not hiding it from the world, why hide it from the kids?

Because your poor kids might not have any friends

Explain

?? Not sure if you are playing dumb or actually dumb. Once your kid finds out, his friends will find out. Once they find out, their parents will find out... Do you think friends' parents will let their kids come near your kid? No way in hell that's going to happen. I am not trying to stop you. YOu can go around screw anyone or anything you want to screw but don't pretend this won't affect your kids.

You don’t understand- people like this pretend their kids are just extensions of them. They don’t care how it makes their kids feel. Their kids are supposed to feel exactly as they do and not have their own feelings. They are supposed to accept any behavior and be ok with it. If they feel ick inside because mom and dad are banging anything that moves openly- so what? Kids feelings don’t matter! Only banging matters. Open banging is better. It’s all above board because it’s known! Meanwhile kids get pushed aside for bang partners and everyone has to smile and be so mature and accepting!

-adult whose parents did this, it was gross and embarrassing and confusing.

I don't think most ENM couple is just about "banging anything that moves" (most ENM couples I know mostly engage in long-term relationships with their outside partners). However, there is a lot of truth to the rest of this and I think anyone with kids contemplating an open marriage should read it and think hard about what their expectations are in terms of their kids.

I think one reason the OP might not be ready for this is that they say that "monogamy is not an option" in their marriage. Monogamy, just like ENM, is always an option. I know multiple couples who have opened their marriages and later closed it back up, and kids were a factor in several cases. If your kid told you that they were opposed to your ENM marriage, not on moral grounds, but because it took you or your spouse away from the family more than they wanted, and they they felt robbed of more togetherness during their childhood, would you consider setting aside ENM to give your child what they are saying they need now? Because if the answer is a hard no, I think you might discover your kids are not necessarily as supportive of these choices as you hope.

It's one thing to ask someone to accept your sexual and relationship choices, to simply not judge you for setting up your relationship in a non-traditional way. But ENM couples aren't just asking their kids to accept their sexuality. They are asking them to accept a lifestyle for the entire family which might be inconvenient, limiting, and confusing for kids. That's a LOT to ask minor children of any age.

The wants and needs of the children are not considered in an open marriage. The kids are seen as things to be shuttled between parents as they take turns having sex at various hotels with their various partners. Mom and dad focus on spending every free moment separate from their kids and legal spouse, it’s boring to them. They want constant romance, constant sexual adventure, constant excitement.

The kids get very little if any attention or time as mom and dad are constantly planning their next adventure with their bang partner. Mom and dad are so excited to be sexting other people and taking sexy selfies to send to their bang partner.