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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Open Marriage with kids"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd be careful and avoid telling a child. We learned of a couple's open marriage from our child whose friend had told her about her parents having boyfriends and girlfriends at school. She announced it in class so the entire grade found out in a day. [/quote] If you are not hiding it from the world, why hide it from the kids? [/quote] Because your poor kids might not have any friends[/quote] Explain[/quote] ?? Not sure if you are playing dumb or actually dumb. Once your kid finds out, his friends will find out. Once they find out, their parents will find out... Do you think friends' parents will let their kids come near your kid? No way in hell that's going to happen. I am not trying to stop you. YOu can go around screw anyone or anything you want to screw but don't pretend this won't affect your kids. [/quote] You don’t understand- people like this pretend their kids are just extensions of them. They don’t care how it makes their kids feel. Their kids are supposed to feel exactly as they do and not have their own feelings. They are supposed to accept any behavior and be ok with it. If they feel ick inside because mom and dad are banging anything that moves openly- so what? Kids feelings don’t matter! Only banging matters. Open banging is better. It’s all above board because it’s known! Meanwhile kids get pushed aside for bang partners and everyone has to smile and be so mature and accepting! -adult whose parents did this, it was gross and embarrassing and confusing. [/quote] I don't think most ENM couple is just about "banging anything that moves" (most ENM couples I know mostly engage in long-term relationships with their outside partners). However, there is a lot of truth to the rest of this and I think anyone with kids contemplating an open marriage should read it and think hard about what their expectations are in terms of their kids. I think one reason the OP might not be ready for this is that they say that "monogamy is not an option" in their marriage. Monogamy, just like ENM, is always an option. I know multiple couples who have opened their marriages and later closed it back up, and kids were a factor in several cases. If your kid told you that they were opposed to your ENM marriage, not on moral grounds, but because it took you or your spouse away from the family more than they wanted, and they they felt robbed of more togetherness during their childhood, would you consider setting aside ENM to give your child what they are saying they need now? Because if the answer is a hard no, I think you might discover your kids are not necessarily as supportive of these choices as you hope. It's one thing to ask someone to accept your sexual and relationship choices, to simply not judge you for setting up your relationship in a non-traditional way. But ENM couples aren't just asking their kids to accept their sexuality. They are asking them to accept a lifestyle for the entire family which might be inconvenient, limiting, and confusing for kids. That's a LOT to ask minor children of any age.[/quote] The wants and needs of the children are not considered in an open marriage. The kids are seen as things to be shuttled between parents as they take turns having sex at various hotels with their various partners. Mom and dad focus on spending every free moment separate from their kids and legal spouse, it’s boring to them. They want constant romance, constant sexual adventure, constant excitement. The kids get very little if any attention or time as mom and dad are constantly planning their next adventure with their bang partner. Mom and dad are so excited to be sexting other people and taking sexy selfies to send to their bang partner. [/quote]
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