VERY concerned about my kid's obsession with Yale & Princeton

[Anonymous]

Be realistic and apply widely. Sometimes can happen. My no hook DC got accepted at LAC WASP RD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be realistic and apply widely. Sometimes can happen. My no hook DC got accepted at LAC WASP RD.

And her stats were... ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does her school use scoir or naviance? She needs to recognize there are kids with her stats or higher that were not admitted. How did last year’s class fare with admissions? She should have concrete examples of how kids similar to her are doing in this environment.

That's what I was going to say. My kids' public school got three kids into Princeton this year. Before this, it had been YEARS since even one kid got in. The kids aren't markedly different ... the fortunes smiled on our school this year. Good luck to her!

NP. All the kids who got accepted at P this year from DC school had major legacy hooks.

(I'm +100 above) Same was true for Yale - and Yale acceptances were a fraction of Princeton.

Our local public has had more Yale admits than Princeton admits for years. The only Princeton admits, and there have been very few, are recruited athletes or URMs. For an unhooked Asian or White kid, it’s been impossible. Guess they need to be a legacy or go to a tony private instead - but it’s not like there aren’t dozens of other schools that offer just as good an education with far less pretense.

I know legacy, elite athletes from boarding schools who got rejected. It really is a lottery at every level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a rising senior. She is an excellent student, she has the academic stats for an elite school but her ECs are only solid - nothing at national or international level. She has no hooks.

Ever since going on college visits, and visiting the Yale and Princeton campuses, she says she has fallen in love with both schools and can't imagine going anywhere else. This obsession has been going on for a few months! I have no issue letting her apply, but I think she has about zero chance of getting into either given acceptance rates, her level of ECs and not having a hook.

My concern is that she is over focusing on Yale & Princeton while paying lip service to the other great schools on her list when chances are she is very likely going to end up at one of those other schools. She is going through the motions but she is not engaged, she doesn't own it and I think she will be in for a very rude awakening.

Have any of you faced anything similar with your kid? How did you get them to snap out of it and be more realistic? I have tried talking to her about the realities of elite college admissions today, about the fact that you don't need to go to Y or P to get a good education and be successful, but nothing seems to reach her. She just thinks that I tell her these things because I don't believe in her.

That's fine, just get her some job applications for Starbucks and Home Depot to fill out when done with the Yale & Princeton apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be realistic and apply widely. Sometimes can happen. My no hook DC got accepted at LAC WASP RD.

And her stats were... ?

High stats 1570 4.0 UW 4.7 W but no national awards or other hooks.

[Anonymous]

I can empathize, OP. My son was in a similar situation a few years ago - he had the stats, but his ECs while strong were nothing exceptional. However, he was a legacy - his grandfather had attended Yale, so my kid grew up hearing stories about Old Campus and the Harvard-Yale Game. He was completely obsessed with going to Yale for years, imagined himself there and nowhere else!

He got rejected, and was absolutely CRUSHED! He ended up in a reputable state school honors program and is doing well now. However, the summer after his senior year and his freshman year were rough - he developed mild depression. It took time, some therapy and lots of support and love from our end for him to come out on the other end. He is much more mature and grounded now, has a lot more perspective. While the road for him was not easy, I believe it proved beneficial for his growth.

I agree with some of the other posters who suggested that the best you can do is make sure your kid applies to a wide range of schools. Everything else is outside your control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can empathize, OP. My son was in a similar situation a few years ago - he had the stats, but his ECs while strong were nothing exceptional. However, he was a legacy - his grandfather had attended Yale, so my kid grew up hearing stories about Old Campus and the Harvard-Yale Game. He was completely obsessed with going to Yale for years, imagined himself there and nowhere else!

He got rejected, and was absolutely CRUSHED! He ended up in a reputable state school honors program and is doing well now. However, the summer after his senior year and his freshman year were rough - he developed mild depression. It took time, some therapy and lots of support and love from our end for him to come out on the other end. He is much more mature and grounded now, has a lot more perspective. While the road for him was not easy, I believe it proved beneficial for his growth.

I agree with some of the other posters who suggested that the best you can do is make sure your kid applies to a wide range of schools. Everything else is outside your control.

Would love to read more about the specific Honors College regarding class size, job recruiting/placement, academic atmosphere,and anything else that you might want to share. (Should help OP & OP's daughter to look into public university honors colleges which often include substantial merit scholarships). Thanks !

[Anonymous]

My kid didn’t end up applying to Yale - the way he thought about it was any school with a 3% acceptance rate should be in the 3% of class (he is at a small private so that actually meant top 1-2 kids). He didn’t consider hooked kids bc he didn’t have legacy or athletic hook. He figured he was probably kid # 3-4, not 1-2 and applied to another top school with a 10% acceptance rate and was accepted. Remind your kid she is competing with the kids from her school. If she is not absolutely best there, then likely won’t be admitted when considered in full applicant pool.

Saying this, I think your kid has to take your shot if it means that much. The danger is she misses out on an ED opportunity she needs bc she applies to Yale and Princeton SCEA. But maybe she gets in. You never know with these schools but at least the answer will come from them not you. And if she isn’t admitted, she can likely go to a great honors program or some other wonderful top 100 school she will fall in love with later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid didn’t end up applying to Yale - the way he thought about it was any school with a 3% acceptance rate should be in the 3% of class (he is at a small private so that actually meant top 1-2 kids). He didn’t consider hooked kids bc he didn’t have legacy or athletic hook. He figured he was probably kid # 3-4, not 1-2 and applied to another top school with a 10% acceptance rate and was accepted. Remind your kid she is competing with the kids from her school. If she is not absolutely best there, then likely won’t be admitted when considered in full applicant pool.

Saying this, I think your kid has to take your shot if it means that much. The danger is she misses out on an ED opportunity she needs bc she applies to Yale and Princeton SCEA. But maybe she gets in. You never know with these schools but at least the answer will come from them not you. And if she isn’t admitted, she can likely go to a great honors program or some other wonderful top 100 school she will fall in love with later.

Actually, that 3% accept rate is for an applicant pool where almost everyone is in the top 10% of their class, so it's 3% of the top 10%.

[Anonymous]

What does she want to major in? That's more important than the name of the school. Sounds like she is only focused on the superficial. My DH knows HYSP EA is a throwaway without a hook. Those early numbers are deceptive. There aren't many elite schools that don't look at legacy. MIT's EA acceptance is minimally better because they don't take legacy or sports into account.

[Anonymous]

This is why you don’t take your kid to visit Yale or Princeton and instead focus on visiting safety schools

[Anonymous]

OP does she have a specific major in mind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can empathize, OP. My son was in a similar situation a few years ago - he had the stats, but his ECs while strong were nothing exceptional. However, he was a legacy - his grandfather had attended Yale, so my kid grew up hearing stories about Old Campus and the Harvard-Yale Game. He was completely obsessed with going to Yale for years, imagined himself there and nowhere else!

He got rejected, and was absolutely CRUSHED! He ended up in a reputable state school honors program and is doing well now. However, the summer after his senior year and his freshman year were rough - he developed mild depression. It took time, some therapy and lots of support and love from our end for him to come out on the other end. He is much more mature and grounded now, has a lot more perspective. While the road for him was not easy, I believe it proved beneficial for his growth.

I agree with some of the other posters who suggested that the best you can do is make sure your kid applies to a wide range of schools. Everything else is outside your control.

Hopefully one day your son can go to Yale for grad school.

Godspeed.

[Anonymous]

Show her this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Show her this thread.

+1. DS applied SCEA to Princeton. Deferred. Then waitlisted.