Is this normal? Tween not liking parent’s hometown

[Anonymous]

And we wonder why American kids grow up to be such uncultured adults who think Jaleo is exotic high brow cuisine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can he invite along a friend, at least for part of the time? The logistics would be challenging but it might really improve his outlook.

Invite a friend to Germany?? You’re off your rocker.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how old your older kid is, but if they are involved in fall sports, marching band, etc. in high school they will not be able to spend the entire summer away.
Many fall sports start workouts/tryout/practice midway through the summer, or even earlier. Same with marching band.
Even if not involved in those, they will likely want to get a summer job, internship, or regular volunteer shift.

[Anonymous]

We went every summer to Portugal, where my mom is from. I liked it as a kid, but I hated going in my teen years. I wanted to hang out with my friends in the summer, go to the pool with them. sleepovers, camps. I missed so many things, it sucked,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet he misses his video games

It's okay if your kids aren't 100 percent happy all of the time. Fixing it for them is not good. Your job is to help them develop resilience when things aren't perfect.

Yeah, but every single summer for the whole summer? I’m sorry, but poor kid. The summer is their downtime, he misses his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You spend the entire summer there? Of course your tween isn't interested - he wants to go to camp, spend time with his friends, and enjoy his room.

We take trips from Munich - other cities, beaches, lakes.

Your tween wants to spend time with his friends, not a summer of visiting random beaches and lakes around Germany where he doesn’t have friends and has a language barrier.

My tween pushed back on going to overnight surf camp 2 hours away because she wanted to go to surf day camp on our island with her school friends. It’s just the age where friends start mattering more than forced family time.

Can you go for 4-6 weeks and still have 4 weeks for tween to be home with friends for summer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have one teen who likes travel and new experiences, and one tween who just wants to stay home with their friends all summer. Has nothing to do with "home town".

We don’t know if the younger kid doesn’t like traveling and new experiences. This is just not a new experience. This is what they do every single summer. For two whole months. The trip probably lost its newness years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he invite along a friend, at least for part of the time? The logistics would be challenging but it might really improve his outlook.

Invite a friend to Germany?? You’re off your rocker.

Why would this be strange? I'd have bitten off my own arm to be invited to stay with a friend in Europe for the summer.

[Anonymous]

OP, each person is entitled to their own preferences. Just because you like something doesn't mean they have to. Same for everyone. They still need to go. They shouldn't be rude. They need to make it work. It's on them to find a way to enjoy the time together with the family. You however, are being borderline rude and disrespectful by not being able to comprehend that people have individual preferences. You need to be more respectful in your thinking and expression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every summer we spend in Munich, which is where my DH is from. I absolutely love it. We have a small apartment there, friends, family, etc. Older teenager loves it, but tween/young teen for the first time told me he doesn’t like it. He was so excited to go this summer and now really can’t find anything good about it. Is this normal? It’s important to me that we all keep going every year, and not slowly erode this commitment. Has anyone experienced this?

Going out of town for the WHOLE summer is a lot for a teen. Don’t they have friends or fall sports or some camp commitments too?
Most people don’t disappear to another country for 1,2,3 months at that age of socialization.

What do you do while there? Do they take classes or camp or do new day trips once in awhile? Can you make it less about sitting at grandmas house or the aunts house and let your son or daughter plan a few things to look FW to.

How long are you all there? In an Airbnb or houseguesting it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went every summer to Portugal, where my mom is from. I liked it as a kid, but I hated going in my teen years. I wanted to hang out with my friends in the summer, go to the pool with them. sleepovers, camps. I missed so many things, it sucked,

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from Germany and my family goes every year. Different large city.

Do your kids speak German? Have friends or access to other kids their age? What are their interests? Ours like it and go happily every year. Munich is great, plenty to do.

What did he say he doesn't like?

They both speak German, but the younger one doesn’t have friends. The older one 2-3 friends she met through her sport. The younger one refuses to do anything like camp and sports classes. I offered sailing, tennis, riding. Answer is no. Relatives and children of friends don’t match up age-wise.

At home during the school year does your youngest usually say No to things or experiences. Is that his default response?

I have a kid like that and by 4th grade we realized if we listened to that she’d be doing absolutely nothing, at home, begging for an iPad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You spend the entire summer there? Of course your tween isn't interested - he wants to go to camp, spend time with his friends, and enjoy his room.

+1 to this. Being the kid with an accent at a new camp with kids he doesn't know, when he'd rather be back home with his own friends is probably a bummer. Someday he might appreciate the opportunity to have such an experience as extended visits to a foreign country, but I wouldn't find it shocking that in the present he isn't happy.

I get the sentiment, but he doesn’t have an accent.

Where are you from OP?

[Anonymous]

Omg. I’m from Pittsburgh pa. No way would I force my kid to like my hometown. Yuck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet he misses his video games

It's okay if your kids aren't 100 percent happy all of the time. Fixing it for them is not good. Your job is to help them develop resilience when things aren't perfect.

Yeah, but every single summer for the whole summer? I’m sorry, but poor kid. The summer is their downtime, he misses his friends.

This is normal for kids with immigrant parents. In my circle it’s normal for everyone to go home the entire summer or 4-6 weeks in the winter depending on country of origin.