Is this normal? Tween not liking parent’s hometown

[Anonymous]

Every summer we spend in Munich, which is where my DH is from. I absolutely love it. We have a small apartment there, friends, family, etc. Older teenager loves it, but tween/young teen for the first time told me he doesn’t like it. He was so excited to go this summer and now really can’t find anything good about it. Is this normal? It’s important to me that we all keep going every year, and not slowly erode this commitment. Has anyone experienced this?

[Anonymous]

Uh yes, and many of us are from hometowns far less interesting than Munich Germany.

[Anonymous]

What is so interesting from a tween standpoint?

I’m assuming they have no friends there, do they have cousins their age?

[Anonymous]

I'm from Germany and my family goes every year. Different large city.

Do your kids speak German? Have friends or access to other kids their age? What are their interests? Ours like it and go happily every year. Munich is great, plenty to do.

What did he say he doesn't like?

[Anonymous]

PP again. Also, how long do you stay?

[Anonymous]

You spend the entire summer there? Of course your tween isn't interested - he wants to go to camp, spend time with his friends, and enjoy his room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You spend the entire summer there? Of course your tween isn't interested - he wants to go to camp, spend time with his friends, and enjoy his room.

We take trips from Munich - other cities, beaches, lakes.

[Anonymous]

My kids go to a tropical island to visit my inlaws. They are bored with 95% of it. It was work but I had to get my husband & MIL realize the kids need to do the tourist stuff too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm from Germany and my family goes every year. Different large city.

Do your kids speak German? Have friends or access to other kids their age? What are their interests? Ours like it and go happily every year. Munich is great, plenty to do.

What did he say he doesn't like?

They both speak German, but the younger one doesn’t have friends. The older one 2-3 friends she met through her sport. The younger one refuses to do anything like camp and sports classes. I offered sailing, tennis, riding. Answer is no. Relatives and children of friends don’t match up age-wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You spend the entire summer there? Of course your tween isn't interested - he wants to go to camp, spend time with his friends, and enjoy his room.

+1 to this. Being the kid with an accent at a new camp with kids he doesn't know, when he'd rather be back home with his own friends is probably a bummer. Someday he might appreciate the opportunity to have such an experience as extended visits to a foreign country, but I wouldn't find it shocking that in the present he isn't happy.

[Anonymous]

My tween would be happy but they’re all different.

[Anonymous]

My hometown is Paris, and none of us are in love with it, but we visit to see my parents. I try to make it fun by scheduling visits of sites they won't object to, but really all they want to do is restaurant-hop and sit around my parents' apartment reading all the Tintins and Asterix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from Germany and my family goes every year. Different large city.

Do your kids speak German? Have friends or access to other kids their age? What are their interests? Ours like it and go happily every year. Munich is great, plenty to do.

What did he say he doesn't like?

They both speak German, but the younger one doesn’t have friends. The older one 2-3 friends she met through her sport. The younger one refuses to do anything like camp and sports classes. I offered sailing, tennis, riding. Answer is no. Relatives and children of friends don’t match up age-wise.

Why are you surprised they don't want to go? Completely predictable. These children of ours start to become their own people and parents and family are not their focus. They want to be around peers and friends. Totally normal. In fact, I'm shocked your older child doesn't object.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from Germany and my family goes every year. Different large city.

Do your kids speak German? Have friends or access to other kids their age? What are their interests? Ours like it and go happily every year. Munich is great, plenty to do.

What did he say he doesn't like?

They both speak German, but the younger one doesn’t have friends. The older one 2-3 friends she met through her sport. The younger one refuses to do anything like camp and sports classes. I offered sailing, tennis, riding. Answer is no. Relatives and children of friends don’t match up age-wise.

OP you have answered your own question. You have a few options. Force the sports or camps so she can meet friends. Find different activities that she would be more amenable to. Or find friends somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from Germany and my family goes every year. Different large city.

Do your kids speak German? Have friends or access to other kids their age? What are their interests? Ours like it and go happily every year. Munich is great, plenty to do.

What did he say he doesn't like?

They both speak German, but the younger one doesn’t have friends. The older one 2-3 friends she met through her sport. The younger one refuses to do anything like camp and sports classes. I offered sailing, tennis, riding. Answer is no. Relatives and children of friends don’t match up age-wise.

He's not going to have friends if he won't go meet anyone. I'd sign him up for lessons or camps anyway. Tell him to pick the least objectionable one. Sometimes you have to force them to do something.

Even better if you can sign both kids up for the same thing, don't know if that will work for the ages, etc. I'd also maybe try to cut down on the time or length that you go, and definitely go elsewhere too. We always go someplace else for a week too: Corsica, Croatia, Greece, etc. Mine are late teens now.