People in Inappropriate Relationships: How did it start?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was my therapist. For years. He knew me inside out.

wow, this is so wrong. did you report him?

in answer to OP’s question - a lot of the “inappropriate” relationships are abusive or involve a big disparity in power.

I have not. For a long time I was protecting him and his family. And myself.

You should.

Should what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister dated our dad's longtime boss for a minute or two. At the time, she was 22, and the man was 60ish. This man had known her since we were kids, we had been to his house for parties, etc. His wife had divorced him over an affair that he'd had (not my sister), he had dumped the AP by then, and he asked my sister out. He tried to sweep her off of her feet, too, giving her a credit card and taking her on trips. It didn't last long because our parents didn't like it. The boss retired ~5 years after that, and then passed away a few years later due to a heart attack. If my sister had married him, she would have been a young, very rich widow.

He was turning her into a sugar baby--the credit card and trips are pure sugar daddy/sugar baby behavior. I'm glad your sister listened to your parents (or that your parents managed to warn off the boss).

[Anonymous]

I’m sure the boss had kid of his own and she would have had to sign a prenup that would not have resulted in her getting all his assets, good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure the boss had kid of his own and she would have had to sign a prenup that would not have resulted in her getting all his assets, good lord.

No, he and his wife never had kids. (Good lord!11!)

[Anonymous]

My friend. He is 20 years younger and sooo handsome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been in a few of these, 18-20 to their 35+, friends of my parents, coworkers, and other similar situations (nothing illegal, just inappropriate). It starts with a friendship. Two people get along, make each other laugh, find each other attractive. The tension gradually builds over weeks or months. The jokes get more flirty, lingering gazes, smiles that you hold just a little too long. At some point there's a touch of the hand, then a hand on the arm. Sometimes a hug gives a jolt of electricity. You reveal a little more, and a little more. You start sharing little secrets just to test the waters.

There comes a moment when you just know. That was always my favorite moment, right before you kiss for the first time. It's thrilling and exhilarating and terrifying. I think I kept chasing these situations for so long because I lived for that moment, when it feels like a huge leap of faith to take the first step even if you're 100% certain the other person feels the same. But somebody eventually does take that first step into the undeniable .... and it's fun for a while, but then all downhill from there.

I know now how f-ed up that is. Now happily married in a fully appropriate relationship, and no desire to go back to any of that.

Thanks for posting this. I don't think I've ever been particularly close to one of those moments, so that description is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been in a few of these, 18-20 to their 35+, friends of my parents, coworkers, and other similar situations (nothing illegal, just inappropriate). It starts with a friendship. Two people get along, make each other laugh, find each other attractive. The tension gradually builds over weeks or months. The jokes get more flirty, lingering gazes, smiles that you hold just a little too long. At some point there's a touch of the hand, then a hand on the arm. Sometimes a hug gives a jolt of electricity. You reveal a little more, and a little more. You start sharing little secrets just to test the waters.

There comes a moment when you just know. That was always my favorite moment, right before you kiss for the first time. It's thrilling and exhilarating and terrifying. I think I kept chasing these situations for so long because I lived for that moment, when it feels like a huge leap of faith to take the first step even if you're 100% certain the other person feels the same. But somebody eventually does take that first step into the undeniable .... and it's fun for a while, but then all downhill from there.

I know now how f-ed up that is. Now happily married in a fully appropriate relationship, and no desire to go back to any of that.

Thanks for posting this. I don't think I've ever been particularly close to one of those moments, so that description is helpful.

After 20+ year of marriage, I live for those moments. I never let it get to sex because I live for the build up.