People in Inappropriate Relationships: How did it start?

[Anonymous]

I've never been in an inappropriate relationship, so I'm curious what the dynamic is like when they cross the threshold. I'm thinking affairs, employer/employee, too much of an age difference, or those kinds of things when it's pretty clear up front that you're doing something you shouldn't. And I'm not so much wondering about the preliminaries or the graphic details once things got started. I'm really curious about those moments when you cross from something with plausible deniability into a relationship you know you shouldn't be having.

For those of you who don't mind sharing such details.

[Anonymous]

No personal experience but proximity, alcohol and loose morals help. People who want to avoid infidelity, tend to avoid putting themselves in such situations.

[Anonymous]

He was my therapist. For years. He knew me inside out.

[Anonymous]

Met online, basically got dirty like the second day we were texting. It felt amazing but eventually the guilt got to me and now I’m in therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never been in an inappropriate relationship, so I'm curious what the dynamic is like when they cross the threshold. I'm thinking affairs, employer/employee, too much of an age difference, or those kinds of things when it's pretty clear up front that you're doing something you shouldn't. And I'm not so much wondering about the preliminaries or the graphic details once things got started. I'm really curious about those moments when you cross from something with plausible deniability into a relationship you know you shouldn't be having.

For those of you who don't mind sharing such details.

That's either illegal or just fine.

[Anonymous]

They’re worked together and both lacked enough character to stay faithful to their spouses. Young kids impacted on both sides. Maybe the draw was doing something illicit and the my found willing partners in one another as people lacking integrity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was my therapist. For years. He knew me inside out.

Literally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was my therapist. For years. He knew me inside out.

Literally.

Ha, yes.

[Anonymous]

Married coworker and I drank too much together on a business trip.

[Anonymous]

He was my assigned mentor at work.

[Anonymous]

Ripeness is all.

[Anonymous]

Married co worker, me in live in relationship with long time boyfriend. In a nutshell, too many overnights trips together, too many late night drinks getting to know each other personally and two ultimately unhappy people looking for something better. I guess in a warped sort of way, we became each others therapists and this went on for well over a year before the affair started. Emotional affair first, physical next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was my therapist. For years. He knew me inside out.

wow, this is so wrong. did you report him?

in answer to OP’s question - a lot of the “inappropriate” relationships are abusive or involve a big disparity in power.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married co worker, me in live in relationship with long time boyfriend. In a nutshell, too many overnights trips together, too many late night drinks getting to know each other personally and two ultimately unhappy people looking for something better. I guess in a warped sort of way, we became each others therapists and this went on for well over a year before the affair started. Emotional affair first, physical next.

Did either of you divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married co worker, me in live in relationship with long time boyfriend. In a nutshell, too many overnights trips together, too many late night drinks getting to know each other personally and two ultimately unhappy people looking for something better. I guess in a warped sort of way, we became each others therapists and this went on for well over a year before the affair started. Emotional affair first, physical next.

Did either of you divorce?

He yes, me, moved into my own place and left my boyfriend. We married three years later and have been happily (I don't know why I cringe when I say this) for 15 years. Sometimes, I guess you can belong to someone else when the right one comes along.