If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
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Anonymous
DP. Why is getting a more precise IQ number a big deal? Getting an IQ test done is only important if you need it to access gifted services or need it for a neuropsych exam for LDs. OP doesn't think her kid shows any signs of LDs or underachievement. The IQ result is mostly a wake up call to OP that her son might not be sufficiently challenged or might develop social issues from being different from peers. Now that OP is aware of these issues, there's nothing important to be learned from a "more accurate" IQ test. Kids do not need to be quantified in that way. |
Anonymous
Nice idea, but this also sound like a teacher who was willing to allow flexibility in the classroom. In some more rigid settings, yes, the brightest kids might be bored. |
Anonymous
The test giver needed practice giving tests for some reason. There are also free IQ tests on the internet. Gifted vs. PG, not Gifted vs Gifted, these groupings do matter. Hence OP coming here w post. Is a swing from one group to another in score possible because of an imprecisely given test? Yep. |
Anonymous
| Sorry, I posted too quickly. If your child qualifies, this program is invaluable. |
Anonymous
OP here, My kid appears to qualify, both based on his WISC and on his academic testing, although I understand there's also a portfolio and recommendations. But I can't really figure out what this program is. I know they have camps, and a school, but it seems like there are other things. Can you tell me more about what it entails? |
Anonymous
OP here, I do think his school has been good about flexibility. But I also think that whether or not a kid gets bored has more to do with personality than intelligence. |
Anonymous
Don’t worry about a thing. It sounds like he’s doing great, so remind yourself there’s no need to borrow problems. It’s true that SOME kids with super high IQs also have social challenges, autism, ADHD or other traits that make life a little more difficult for them. But this does not mean ALL kids have those traits or difficulties. There truly are kids (and adults) who have phenomenally high IQ yet are “typical” and successful socially. One doesn’t necessarily preclude the other. The two pieces of advice I’ve seen above that resonated for me are: (a) It’s important for all kids to learn coping skills - how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and how to tolerate “struggle”. Lots of kids experience that academically (hard teacher, hard class, hard unit, hard test) but he may not. So talk with him about it. Engage him in the question - What’s something that would “stretch” him just beyond his comfort zone, and would he be up for trying it with your encouragement and support? It could be academically but it also could be athletically or socially or with sone random interest he may have but is hesitant to “put himself out there”. To me, this is key for ALL kids, but it may take extra effort for a kid who sails through the academics of middle school and high school. Encourage HIM to seek these opportunities - by experiencing things that are not “easy,” he’ll build the resilience muscles and also the confidence to explore his interests and the world without excess fear of failure. (b) He truly may sail through school socially - again, not all super high IQ people are awkward or challenged socially. But the teenage years are all about them exploring different aspects of themselves and finding “their people”. On some level, most teens just “be themselves” while also “finding their tribe”. I think it’s evolutionary/biological - a part of development during those years. So talk with him about it - not just because of his high IQ, but in part (for example, when his friends freak out about how hard a teacher/class us but ge doesn’t feel the same, what’s that line? Or if he effortlessly gets straight A’s while they struggle?) Help him notice and articulate his feelings - and help him find authentic commonalities upon which to build friendships if it starts to become harder to “find his people.” And I would pair this idea with the first one above - maybe encourage him to get out of his comfort zone socially - perhaps at a short summer camp experience in high school with other super gifted teens. Some of the PO’s described amazing, life-expanded experiences! Finally, I’ll say it again - I would not assume he’ll struggle in some huge way just because of his IQ! But most teens do hit social bumps in the road, and in those moments, adult empathy and support can truly help them find ways to connect. |
Anonymous
TBH, that combination of aptitude, capacity, and personality sounds remarkably like my DD. And my DH. And maybe me? We haven’t been tested, but our brains learn, process, and retain information remarkably fast, automatically synthesize and apply what we know in new ways, and keep seeking more inputs without exhausting themselves. And all three of us find SO many different things interesting - we’ve always been curious snd self-motivated that way and never seem to get bored. It’s great!!! 🎉 So please don’t let people scare you into thinking that your DS must have sone hidden “issue” or undiscovered condition like anxiety, social disconnection etc. It’s possible, and if it turns out to be true at sone point, I have no doubt you’ll see it coming from a mile away. (You seem wonderfully attuned and engaged - not the type to ever be blindsided, I’d guess. 😊) Keep in mind that the larger world includes ALL types, and if we live big, curious lives, we’ll always be exposing ourselves to new variations and people. FWIW, in high school, I didn’t feel like there was anyone quite like me, but it was fun and “good enough” socially. Then I went to college and was thrilled to meet so many people who immediately resonated! Not the entire college class, of course (lots of variation, even in that carefully selected cohort). But many kids who were off the charts brilliant, socially well-adjusted, and with seemingly endless interests and the ability to pursue them all at once, in balance. DH experienced the same, and our college friends continue to blow my mind that way - wonderfully brilliant and well-adjusted adults doing a wide range of things with their lives (and evolving at different stages - no one seems static). From what you’ve shared, that sounds like your DS. If so, enjoy the ride! And try not to let others get in your head, worrying about what you might be “missing”. Try to keep living in the present - enjoying whatever phase you all are in, and trusting that the two of you will notice and navigate whatever challenges arise. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
Someone’s IQ has nothing to do with how fast someone swims. Maybe teach him the difference. |
Anonymous
That’s not true. There will be a disproportionate amount of students with high IQs at places like MIT but most are just hard working smart people who put in a lot of work and have a talent for their chosen major. |
Anonymous
| Funny, we had this conversation with our DD who is about to go to Harvard in the fall. She mentioned she met someone at Visitas who goes to a school for the gifted, where you have to test xyz to get in. We told her that she could have gotten in also because she had the scores. She asked why we said we threw the scores away because they were meaningless. My response was we wanted you to work hard and not think you could skate by with a high IQ. She scored 99.99% or something like that, not IQ but whatever the score is which ranks you overall. |
Anonymous
| That is laughing out loud funny! |
Anonymous
| My PG teen is more regular than we would have thought in the toddler years when he had all manner of party tricks that blew people’s minds. Once everyone can read, things start to even out. You can seek enrichment inside and outside of school in areas of interest, but I wouldn’t do anything too different than you would with any other kid! Don’t dwell on the score or make too big a deal over how smart they are. It’s bad for them on so many levels. |