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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]what did you do differently?

My middle schooler's IQ was just tested, and came back on the border between these two categories, according to the Hoagie's website.  Apparently his score puts him in the top 0.03%. I guess I'm trying to figure out if this is information I need to do something with, or if I can just take these results and stick them in a drawer somewhere.  [/quote]

My kid has incredibly high IQ and ADHD.  The tester’s suggestion was to indulge his interests/passions but not really do much differently.[/quote]

Why was your child tested?  My two were tested because of learning disabilities.  [/quote]

I'm not sure if you're asking me (OP) or the PP.  I have a friend who is a neuropsychologist and she was looking for someone for a new staff member to practice on.  I had mentioned that I was curious about how he'd do so she offered.  I didn't come in with concerns, and they didn't find anything problematic.  Just lots of high scores.

I knew it would be higher than average going in.  That's why I was curious.  He's good at school.   He's a very busy kid who is always doing something.  But I had heard that profoundly gifted kids always struggle, and they need radically different things than their same age peers, and they are so much harder to parent than "typical" kids and since none of those things seem to apply to him, I sort of assumed he'd come in at the bottom of the gifted range.

But now, I'm worried that maybe he does need something different and I'm doing him a disservice?  [/quote]

Don’t worry about a thing. It sounds like he’s doing great, so remind yourself there’s no need to borrow problems.

It’s true that SOME kids with super high IQs also have social challenges, autism, ADHD or other traits that make life a little more difficult for them. But this does not mean ALL kids have those traits or difficulties.

There truly are kids (and adults) who have phenomenally high IQ yet are “typical” and successful socially. One doesn’t necessarily preclude the other.

The two pieces of advice I’ve seen above that resonated for me are:

(a) It’s important for all kids to learn coping skills - how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and how to tolerate “struggle”. Lots of kids experience that academically (hard teacher, hard class, hard unit, hard test) but he may not.

So talk with him about it. Engage him in the question - What’s something that would “stretch” him just beyond his comfort zone, and would he be up for trying it with your encouragement and support? It could be academically but it also could be athletically or socially or with sone random interest he may have but is hesitant to “put himself out there”.

To me, this is key for ALL kids, but it may take extra effort for a kid who sails through the academics of middle school and high school. Encourage HIM to seek these opportunities - by experiencing things that are not “easy,” he’ll build the resilience muscles and also the confidence to explore his interests and the world without excess fear of failure.

(b) He truly may sail through school socially - again, not all super high IQ people are awkward or challenged socially. But the teenage years are all about them exploring different aspects of themselves and finding “their people”. On some level, most teens just “be themselves” while also “finding their tribe”. I think it’s evolutionary/biological - a part of development during those years. So talk with him about it - not just because of his high IQ, but in part (for example, when his friends freak out about how hard a teacher/class us but ge doesn’t feel the same, what’s that line? Or if he effortlessly gets straight A’s while they struggle?)

Help him notice and articulate his feelings - and help him find authentic commonalities upon which to build friendships if it starts to become harder to “find his people.”  And I would pair this idea with the first one above - maybe encourage him to get out of his comfort zone socially - perhaps at a short summer camp experience in high school with other super gifted teens. Some of the PO’s described amazing, life-expanded experiences!

Finally, I’ll say it again - I would not assume he’ll struggle in some huge way just because of his IQ! But most teens do hit social bumps in the road, and in those moments, adult empathy and support can truly help them find ways to connect. [/quote]

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