24-yo Sofia Richie ties the knot in France. Marrying in your early 20s is trendy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people I know from childhood who married in their early 20s & had kids soon after never moved out of our hometown. They seem happy but it’s a different lifestyle. Grandparents doing a lot of childcare is common.

If you’re a career-oriented HCOL dweller, you will not be able to give your kids an adequate lifestyle and will be held back from making strategic career moves if you do that.

There it is. The old trope that only losers stuck in their hometowns marry young. Trends are a changing. First it’s the young rich and young celebs like a Sofia, next it’ll be all the regular UMC kids you know. There’s going to be an American baby boom because of this. IVF doctors might have to scale back from two to just one vacation home.

What’s for brunch today?

[Anonymous]

I'm all for it if that's what they want - of my friends (both guys and gals) that waited to marry into their 30s most settled for partners they wouldn't have ever dated when they were a little younger - and we are only talking early-mid thirties vs. mid-late 20s - but the younger marriages just seemed to last AND be a lot more fun and compatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people I know from childhood who married in their early 20s & had kids soon after never moved out of our hometown. They seem happy but it’s a different lifestyle. Grandparents doing a lot of childcare is common.

If you’re a career-oriented HCOL dweller, you will not be able to give your kids an adequate lifestyle and will be held back from making strategic career moves if you do that.

I married at 25 (after graduating grad school in DC, not my home town), had kids (3) by 32 and still clear over six figures in my “hobby job”. DH makes over $400k so we live a pretty good life. Didn’t deal with the fertility challenges of many of my colleagues (who present themselves as career women).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this on all these threads about how women should marry younger but: women are not the reason couples are getting married later and later. I know it gets blamed on women having more choices and pursuing careers. But of course women are pursuing careers, it's idiotic not to. I don't really know many women who actually put off marriage until later. The issue is that men do not want to get married in their 20s and the most desirable male partners view it as their opportunity to play the field and "be free." Most men still see marriage as the end of their fun times and a prison they'll never escape from. Men in their 20s are incredibly immature, often refusing to engage in basic financial responsibility and personal hygiene, and very unwilling to engage commitment.

Pretty much all of my friends, and I, would have happily married in our 20s. I had 4 friends who got married before they turned 30. I met my husband when I was 29 and felt fortunate. Most of us married early to mid 30s, a couple late 30s, a few not at all. But with few exceptions, if you'd asked us right out of college if we'd be willing to get married at 25/26 to the right person, we would have said yes. The men we dated were not interested in marriage. At all.

Interesting. So the lack of early marriages was entirely the fault of immature young adult men and had nothing to do with the glorification of and young women buying into hookup culture, binge drinking, clubbing, traveling (read drunken hookup culture abroad with random foreigners), playing the field to 'learn what you like', the pill, abortion, lean in, girl boss, independent women, boozy weekend brunches (read drunkenly wasting weekends away instead of using weekends to find a spouse), and the big lie that marriage and children in your 20s was boring, holds you back professionally and was low class?

Oh yeah, let’s blame the women. Like men aren’t propagating the hookup culture, aren’t binge drinking, aren’t traveling, etc?

It seems most young gals in their 20s and 30s take the pill, casually use Plan B and often have even had an abortion; live with or have lived with men they aren’t married to (“shacking up”); and aimlessly date around and toy with men on apps like it’s something to be proud of. This is not the behavior of someone who is serious about growing up and finding a suitable husband. This sort of behavior also wrecks you mentally. Hopefully celebrity young women like Sofia nudge more young women and men alike to focus on finding a partner in college and forgoing all of the pointless wasting away of their 20s, as has been en vogue for at least the last 25 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people I know from childhood who married in their early 20s & had kids soon after never moved out of our hometown. They seem happy but it’s a different lifestyle. Grandparents doing a lot of childcare is common.

If you’re a career-oriented HCOL dweller, you will not be able to give your kids an adequate lifestyle and will be held back from making strategic career moves if you do that.

I married at 25 (after graduating grad school in DC, not my home town), had kids (3) by 32 and still clear over six figures in my “hobby job”. DH makes over $400k so we live a pretty good life. Didn’t deal with the fertility challenges of many of my colleagues (who present themselves as career women).

Similar, married at 25, 3 kids by 31, make 6 figures and dh makes 7. Have a fabulous life in NYC (not from there) and my mom wouldn’t be caught dead babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this on all these threads about how women should marry younger but: women are not the reason couples are getting married later and later. I know it gets blamed on women having more choices and pursuing careers. But of course women are pursuing careers, it's idiotic not to. I don't really know many women who actually put off marriage until later. The issue is that men do not want to get married in their 20s and the most desirable male partners view it as their opportunity to play the field and "be free." Most men still see marriage as the end of their fun times and a prison they'll never escape from. Men in their 20s are incredibly immature, often refusing to engage in basic financial responsibility and personal hygiene, and very unwilling to engage commitment.

Pretty much all of my friends, and I, would have happily married in our 20s. I had 4 friends who got married before they turned 30. I met my husband when I was 29 and felt fortunate. Most of us married early to mid 30s, a couple late 30s, a few not at all. But with few exceptions, if you'd asked us right out of college if we'd be willing to get married at 25/26 to the right person, we would have said yes. The men we dated were not interested in marriage. At all.

Interesting. So the lack of early marriages was entirely the fault of immature young adult men and had nothing to do with the glorification of and young women buying into hookup culture, binge drinking, clubbing, traveling (read drunken hookup culture abroad with random foreigners), playing the field to 'learn what you like', the pill, abortion, lean in, girl boss, independent women, boozy weekend brunches (read drunkenly wasting weekends away instead of using weekends to find a spouse), and the big lie that marriage and children in your 20s was boring, holds you back professionally and was low class?

Oh yeah, let’s blame the women. Like men aren’t propagating the hookup culture, aren’t binge drinking, aren’t traveling, etc?

It seems most young gals in their 20s and 30s take the pill, casually use Plan B and often have even had an abortion; live with or have lived with men they aren’t married to (“shacking up”); and aimlessly date around and toy with men on apps like it’s something to be proud of. This is not the behavior of someone who is serious about growing up and finding a suitable husband. This sort of behavior also wrecks you mentally. Hopefully celebrity young women like Sofia nudge more young women and men alike to focus on finding a partner in college and forgoing all of the pointless wasting away of their 20s, as has been en vogue for at least the last 25 years.

Misogynist much? Why is it okay to you when men sleep around, live with different women, date on apps etc? Why are you referring to adult women as “young gals”?

[Anonymous]

Women have more options nowadays than marrying the first guy they meet at 23 & popping out as many kids as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people I know from childhood who married in their early 20s & had kids soon after never moved out of our hometown. They seem happy but it’s a different lifestyle. Grandparents doing a lot of childcare is common.

If you’re a career-oriented HCOL dweller, you will not be able to give your kids an adequate lifestyle and will be held back from making strategic career moves if you do that.

I married at 25 (after graduating grad school in DC, not my home town), had kids (3) by 32 and still clear over six figures in my “hobby job”. DH makes over $400k so we live a pretty good life. Didn’t deal with the fertility challenges of many of my colleagues (who present themselves as career women).

Similar, married at 25, 3 kids by 31, make 6 figures and dh makes 7. Have a fabulous life in NYC (not from there) and my mom wouldn’t be caught dead babysitting.

PP from above…in reflection most of the smartest ppl in my grad school class were engaged or married by graduation. Definitely not ppl stuck in their “hometowns”. And all happily married with multiple children by early 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm all for it if that's what they want - of my friends (both guys and gals) that waited to marry into their 30s most settled for partners they wouldn't have ever dated when they were a little younger - and we are only talking early-mid thirties vs. mid-late 20s - but the younger marriages just seemed to last AND be a lot more fun and compatible.

Leftovers marry leftovers. Chinese call them sheng nu. Men and women are far happier when they find a spouse and marry in their physical primes; early 20s.

https://www.vogue.com/article/sheng-nu-leftover-women-sk-ii-viral-video

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women have more options nowadays than marrying the first guy they meet at 23 & popping out as many kids as possible.

Says the jealous spinster still single at 35 believing she’s smarter than those with families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women have more options nowadays than marrying the first guy they meet at 23 & popping out as many kids as possible.

Says the jealous spinster still single at 35 believing she’s smarter than those with families.

Are you always this nasty in real life or do you just get your rocks off saying things like this on the internet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this on all these threads about how women should marry younger but: women are not the reason couples are getting married later and later. I know it gets blamed on women having more choices and pursuing careers. But of course women are pursuing careers, it's idiotic not to. I don't really know many women who actually put off marriage until later. The issue is that men do not want to get married in their 20s and the most desirable male partners view it as their opportunity to play the field and "be free." Most men still see marriage as the end of their fun times and a prison they'll never escape from. Men in their 20s are incredibly immature, often refusing to engage in basic financial responsibility and personal hygiene, and very unwilling to engage commitment.

Pretty much all of my friends, and I, would have happily married in our 20s. I had 4 friends who got married before they turned 30. I met my husband when I was 29 and felt fortunate. Most of us married early to mid 30s, a couple late 30s, a few not at all. But with few exceptions, if you'd asked us right out of college if we'd be willing to get married at 25/26 to the right person, we would have said yes. The men we dated were not interested in marriage. At all.

Interesting. So the lack of early marriages was entirely the fault of immature young adult men and had nothing to do with the glorification of and young women buying into hookup culture, binge drinking, clubbing, traveling (read drunken hookup culture abroad with random foreigners), playing the field to 'learn what you like', the pill, abortion, lean in, girl boss, independent women, boozy weekend brunches (read drunkenly wasting weekends away instead of using weekends to find a spouse), and the big lie that marriage and children in your 20s was boring, holds you back professionally and was low class?

Oh yeah, let’s blame the women. Like men aren’t propagating the hookup culture, aren’t binge drinking, aren’t traveling, etc?

It seems most young gals in their 20s and 30s take the pill, casually use Plan B and often have even had an abortion; live with or have lived with men they aren’t married to (“shacking up”); and aimlessly date around and toy with men on apps like it’s something to be proud of. This is not the behavior of someone who is serious about growing up and finding a suitable husband. This sort of behavior also wrecks you mentally. Hopefully celebrity young women like Sofia nudge more young women and men alike to focus on finding a partner in college and forgoing all of the pointless wasting away of their 20s, as has been en vogue for at least the last 25 years.

Misogynist much? Why is it okay to you when men sleep around, live with different women, date on apps etc? Why are you referring to adult women as “young gals”?

Women run the world. As Doctor Laura would say, “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?” Taking pills and opening your legs for non-committed men through your 20s and 30s is not empowering, nor does such “experience” help you “learn what you like.” This charade that men and women are happier when they sleep around, shack up, and wait until they’re 30 for marriage is eroding. Celebs and the rich seem to be reverting back to marrying in their early 20s prime. Normal middle class and upper middle will hopefully follow suit.

[Anonymous]

But Sofia didn't marry her HS sweetheart. And she didn't go to college. She married a guy who works with her dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this on all these threads about how women should marry younger but: women are not the reason couples are getting married later and later. I know it gets blamed on women having more choices and pursuing careers. But of course women are pursuing careers, it's idiotic not to. I don't really know many women who actually put off marriage until later. The issue is that men do not want to get married in their 20s and the most desirable male partners view it as their opportunity to play the field and "be free." Most men still see marriage as the end of their fun times and a prison they'll never escape from. Men in their 20s are incredibly immature, often refusing to engage in basic financial responsibility and personal hygiene, and very unwilling to engage commitment.

Pretty much all of my friends, and I, would have happily married in our 20s. I had 4 friends who got married before they turned 30. I met my husband when I was 29 and felt fortunate. Most of us married early to mid 30s, a couple late 30s, a few not at all. But with few exceptions, if you'd asked us right out of college if we'd be willing to get married at 25/26 to the right person, we would have said yes. The men we dated were not interested in marriage. At all.

Interesting. So the lack of early marriages was entirely the fault of immature young adult men and had nothing to do with the glorification of and young women buying into hookup culture, binge drinking, clubbing, traveling (read drunken hookup culture abroad with random foreigners), playing the field to 'learn what you like', the pill, abortion, lean in, girl boss, independent women, boozy weekend brunches (read drunkenly wasting weekends away instead of using weekends to find a spouse), and the big lie that marriage and children in your 20s was boring, holds you back professionally and was low class?

Oh yeah, let’s blame the women. Like men aren’t propagating the hookup culture, aren’t binge drinking, aren’t traveling, etc?

It seems most young gals in their 20s and 30s take the pill, casually use Plan B and often have even had an abortion; live with or have lived with men they aren’t married to (“shacking up”); and aimlessly date around and toy with men on apps like it’s something to be proud of. This is not the behavior of someone who is serious about growing up and finding a suitable husband. This sort of behavior also wrecks you mentally. Hopefully celebrity young women like Sofia nudge more young women and men alike to focus on finding a partner in college and forgoing all of the pointless wasting away of their 20s, as has been en vogue for at least the last 25 years.

Misogynist much? Why is it okay to you when men sleep around, live with different women, date on apps etc? Why are you referring to adult women as “young gals”?

Women run the world. As Doctor Laura would say, “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?” Taking pills and opening your legs for non-committed men through your 20s and 30s is not empowering, nor does such “experience” help you “learn what you like.” This charade that men and women are happier when they sleep around, shack up, and wait until they’re 30 for marriage is eroding. Celebs and the rich seem to be reverting back to marrying in their early 20s prime. Normal middle class and upper middle will hopefully follow suit.

What? Where? I don’t think we live in the same world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women have more options nowadays than marrying the first guy they meet at 23 & popping out as many kids as possible.

Assuming you’re college educated, was or were the guy(s) you dated at 22 and 23 that bad? Probably not. That’s when we are in our prime and have access to the greatest dating pool - a 100% unmarried college campus and prep school network. That pool gets very shallow very quickly the further you are from college graduation.