Do you find it alluring if a man orders for you at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

One man with whom I had a relationship ordered for me the first time we went to a restaurant.; he asked if I would mind his ordering, with my telling him what I wanted. I told him, he suggested we add a particular appetizer, and then he ordered. We were at a restaurant where they knew him and were clearly extra attentive because of that, and it was frankly attractive to watch him act with such easy confidence. When we next ate out, I was going to pay, and I said I would like to order for us both. It became a thing between us, with the one paying being the one who ordered, and we both enjoyed a bit of showing off as we did it, and joked about it.

[Anonymous]

Depends entirely on the style and his overall persona.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess those who don't like it also don't like a man who opens the door for you.

One is polite (any stranger can hold a door for anyone, date/no date any gender for any gender) and the subject title is controlling and retro 1950. No thank you.

[Anonymous]

Only if they do it at a place we've been to multiple times and the order is clear and followed with a, "right?" Especially with some of my longer orders, it can impress me and if I quickly push the menu away it is pretty clear what I want.

I have said "actually, I'll have X" once just to do it! We rarely order for one another though.

[Anonymous]

In theory, an attractive older man who conveys my order to the waiter while discussing what wine goes best with what we each ordered - yeah, that could be attractive, and make me feel kind of spoiled and taken care of.

But in practice these men are probably less Richard Gere from Pretty Woman and more Jason Alexander so I doubt it would work for me in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this somehow charming...yet I know it's odd!

Do you mean he picked the dish for your or did he just conveyed your selection to the waitress?

Conveys your selection to the waitress.
It’s pretty normal to talk about the menu when you go to a restaurant. You tell him what you want and what looks good to you. He talks about what he wants and what looks good to him. When the waiter comes, he conveys both of your orders.

DP but this happened to me. And when I said what looked good to me I didn't mention I planned to get the sauce on the side. The man went ahead and ordered for me as is, before I could say anything, and it wasn't what I wanted. So it was a fail. Thanks, but no thanks, I can order for myself.

It depends. Maybe you weren’t compatible, and it’s a win for both of you to find that out.

[Anonymous]

No. I'm more than capable of deciding what I want and ordering it.

[Anonymous]

I corrected an order. That put an end to him trying to order for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's Point Four in Damone's Five Point Plan. Men have died trying to get this information, but I'll post it here for free:

One: Never let on how much you like a girl.

Two: Always call the shots.

Three: Act like wherever you are, that's the place to be.

Four: When ordering food, find out what she wants and then order for both of you... it's a classy move.

Five: When you get down to making out, whenever possible, put on the first side of Led Zeppelin IV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends entirely on the style and his overall persona.

This. I posted above about finding it attractive in one man I was seeing. He had a definite style of his own in every way and this was part of it, but he asked if he could do it the first time, and the orders were always my own, he didn't pick the food. It really does depend on the two people involved. It's not always a knee-jerk sexist attempt to treat the woman like she's incapable; I'm sure it is sometimes, but...depends on the person and the circumstances. Most men just wouldn't be great at doing it thoughtfully and smoothly, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Looks like some women like it and some don’t. So, probably you should just be yourself. If you like to do this kind of thing, then do it. It will be attractive to women who want to be taken care of, which is probably something that you like.
If you don’t like to do it, and it feels really out of character for you, then don’t do it. You might be pushing away women who could be a really good match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this somehow charming...yet I know it's odd!

Do you mean he picked the dish for your or did he just conveyed your selection to the waitress?

Conveys your selection to the waitress.
It’s pretty normal to talk about the menu when you go to a restaurant. You tell him what you want and what looks good to you. He talks about what he wants and what looks good to him. When the waiter comes, he conveys both of your orders.

DP but this happened to me. And when I said what looked good to me I didn't mention I planned to get the sauce on the side. The man went ahead and ordered for me as is, before I could say anything, and it wasn't what I wanted. So it was a fail. Thanks, but no thanks, I can order for myself.

It depends. Maybe you weren’t compatible, and it’s a win for both of you to find that out.

Yep, it was a first and last date. He was about 15 years older so I chalked it up to a generational thing. Younger guys definitely did not do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
One man with whom I had a relationship ordered for me the first time we went to a restaurant.; he asked if I would mind his ordering, with my telling him what I wanted. I told him, he suggested we add a particular appetizer, and then he ordered. We were at a restaurant where they knew him and were clearly extra attentive because of that, and it was frankly attractive to watch him act with such easy confidence. When we next ate out, I was going to pay, and I said I would like to order for us both. It became a thing between us, with the one paying being the one who ordered, and we both enjoyed a bit of showing off as we did it, and joked about it.

This is utterly baffling behavior to me. Why did he want to order for both of you? And why did that demonstrate "easy confidence?" It's a food order, not instructions on a rocket launch. I've never been to a restaurant with anyone who didn't have the "easy confidence" to place an order. Unless the bill of fare is in Uzbeki, your average American adult should be able to handle this competently.

[Anonymous]

I hate it. The worst though was I went on a date once with a guy who pre ordered drinks without ever asking what I liked. It was a stereotypical girly drink and I absolutely despise them. He then was offended when I asked the bar tender for something else. Granted he also spent the entire date trying to show off his wealth so he was mostly just a creep.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

Some men still know how to be men.