Setting $ limit on teen bday dinner with friends

[Anonymous]

If your son doesn’t like them enough to explain, or if they’re so trashy that they can’t understand a simple, “mom will cover up to $25 per person so you can order X y or z, if you want something more then it’s on you” then I honestly can’t understand why he’d want to be treating them for his birthday anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think everyone is overthinking this. When you go or drop them off just say we are ordering 4 apps, everyone can pick what they want except for steak or fish and get one dessert. I agree that you are putting unexpected pressure on a kid not to order an expensive item (my kids would never think about this at their age). And it’s not rude to nicely say that they can’t get fish or steak. You don’t have to make it about price. The savvy ones might get it but some kids are really clueless and honestly the kids probably care most about the free refills on sodas and other specials about restaurants.

[Anonymous]

You could rent a space at a restaurant get a fixed price menu. I found one at a restaurant recently. $28/person and a few hundred for the space. That solves any issue with a $50 steak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could rent a space at a restaurant get a fixed price menu. I found one at a restaurant recently. $28/person and a few hundred for the space. That solves any issue with a $50 steak.

This is what I’d do if he wants a large group. If it’s just 4-5 friends, have him pick friends who know not to order the most expensive thing on the menu. Most of my son’s friends know this, and they’re 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could rent a space at a restaurant get a fixed price menu. I found one at a restaurant recently. $28/person and a few hundred for the space. That solves any issue with a $50 steak.

This is what I’d do if he wants a large group. If it’s just 4-5 friends, have him pick friends who know not to order the most expensive thing on the menu. Most of my son’s friends know this, and they’re 12.

+1. My son was treated by a friend’s mom to a restaurant meal and he came home telling me that he made sure not to order expensive things, and he’s only 8. Kids know more than you might expect these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter did this with her friends. I gave my daughter cash to pay for the dinner. I think I gave $250, and it was to cover dinner & tip. It was more than enough (four kids).

This is what I would do. DS says, “we have $250 for dinner.” They’ll work it out unless one of the friends is a big jerk.

Fine if it’s more than enough to cover, not if it’s so low that they can each order only a few entrees, no sodas or appetizers, dessert, etc. seems confusing.

The $250 was for a sushi restaurant . I looked at the menu in advance and I knew it was a sufficient amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD went to a 16 year old birthday party and the girls had to pay for their own dinner. So tacky.

That’s fine at that age.

No it wasn’t fine. You don’t host a birthday and make the guests pay.

My DC just went to an event like this. It's fine. Gatherings at this age are really casual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is overthinking this. When you go or drop them off just say we are ordering 4 apps, everyone can pick what they want except for steak or fish and get one dessert. I agree that you are putting unexpected pressure on a kid not to order an expensive item (my kids would never think about this at their age). And it’s not rude to nicely say that they can’t get fish or steak. You don’t have to make it about price. The savvy ones might get it but some kids are really clueless and honestly the kids probably care most about the free refills on sodas and other specials about restaurants.

That's really tacky. I would never bring a child to a restaurant and tell them they can't order certain things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is overthinking this. When you go or drop them off just say we are ordering 4 apps, everyone can pick what they want except for steak or fish and get one dessert. I agree that you are putting unexpected pressure on a kid not to order an expensive item (my kids would never think about this at their age). And it’s not rude to nicely say that they can’t get fish or steak. You don’t have to make it about price. The savvy ones might get it but some kids are really clueless and honestly the kids probably care most about the free refills on sodas and other specials about restaurants.

That's really tacky. I would never bring a child to a restaurant and tell them they can't order certain things.

It's not tacky and you are clearly pretty wealthy if you are ok with a kid ordering a $30-50 meal. There is no chance I'd be ok with that even for my own child. We'd go through the menu before they leave and pick an entree but some parents don't teach their kids manners so it is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD went to a 16 year old birthday party and the girls had to pay for their own dinner. So tacky.

That’s fine at that age.

No it wasn’t fine. You don’t host a birthday and make the guests pay.

My DC just went to an event like this. It's fine. Gatherings at this age are really casual.

My DC had friends to a restaurant and we paid. So weird to have kids split the bill.

[Anonymous]

I think the kids will surprise you, OP. In a good way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could rent a space at a restaurant get a fixed price menu. I found one at a restaurant recently. $28/person and a few hundred for the space. That solves any issue with a $50 steak.

That’s more than what it would cost for the 1-2 kids to just order the more expensive steak! Clearly OP has a budget. Spending a few hundred on the event space alone is not what she is looking to do if she’s already trying to limit costs by controlling entree choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say let them order whatever they want on the menu. Either full pay for this place or make him choose a place that doesen't offer menu items more expensive than want you want to pay.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the kids will surprise you, OP. In a good way.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the kids will surprise you, OP. In a good way.

+1. Most kids aren’t dumb, OP.