Setting $ limit on teen bday dinner with friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You tell all the kids they have up to $25 for dinner, drinks and desert or what ever they want. No more. Have the wait staff run it by you for approval if you aren't at the the table.

I cannot even feed my family of 4 with elementary school kids for $100.

then you are ridiculous

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or do a place with family style dining? Like Maggianos? Does anyone go there anymore? Lol [/quote

This is a great idea. And every time we go we run into people we know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son wants to go out to eat with friends for his bday. The restaurant he picked is fine except there are a few meals on the menu that are expensive. I want to set a max dollar limit per person. I don’t want anyone ordering the $40 fish of the day when there are several options under $25.

It would be better to count on everyone ordering the most expensive option and limiting the number of friends. Maybe you can’t afford the birthday you want to give him or that he wants? That’s fine, but please don’t set a max dollar limit per person, that’s putting the kids in an uncomfortable position.

[Anonymous]

You need to pick another place. It's awkward to tell folks what they can't order, and it will make your guests embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to pick another place. It's awkward to tell folks what they can't order, and it will make your guests embarrassed.

Exactly. Always host the party you can afford. This goes for every occasion.

Send them out for Mexican food at a fun place. Let people order what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter did this with her friends. I gave my daughter cash to pay for the dinner. I think I gave $250, and it was to cover dinner & tip. It was more than enough (four kids).

This is what I would do. DS says, “we have $250 for dinner.” They’ll work it out unless one of the friends is a big jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or do a place with family style dining? Like Maggianos? Does anyone go there anymore? Lol [/quote

This is a great idea. And every time we go we run into people we know.

Carmine's is great for this, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say let them order whatever they want on the menu. Either full pay for this place or make him choose a place that doesn't offer menu items more expensive than want you want to pay.

This. It is rude to expect teens to pay for what is left over especially if they end up splitting the cost when just say 2 spent a fortune. With family you can set a limit and let everyone know. Don't do that with friends at a party. Not your son's job to police his friends or threaten they they will have to pay part of it. Also, teens can be notorious for trying to get away with not paying the total amount or not giving a proper tip. Don't risk screwing a waiter because they went overboard and the gift card wasn't enough and your son used tip cash to pay for the extras. Why don't you go as a family to the place with pricey options and have him chose a place to go with friends where nothing is beyond a certain price.

You absolutely you can set a limit with teens and should as some kids are brats and would order a lot or the highest item as their parent didn't teach them manners.

This. The notion that these children should have carte blanche is ridiculous. If other parents aren't going to teach their children proper comportment, it's a kindness to let them know what is socially appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son wants to go out to eat with friends for his bday. The restaurant he picked is fine except there are a few meals on the menu that are expensive. I want to set a max dollar limit per person. I don’t want anyone ordering the $40 fish of the day when there are several options under $25.

It would be better to count on everyone ordering the most expensive option and limiting the number of friends. Maybe you can’t afford the birthday you want to give him or that he wants? That’s fine, but please don’t set a max dollar limit per person, that’s putting the kids in an uncomfortable position.

This is so dumb. Of course you can say "any entree under $25 (or whatever)."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter did this with her friends. I gave my daughter cash to pay for the dinner. I think I gave $250, and it was to cover dinner & tip. It was more than enough (four kids).

This is what I would do. DS says, “we have $250 for dinner.” They’ll work it out unless one of the friends is a big jerk.

Fine if it’s more than enough to cover, not if it’s so low that they can each order only a few entrees, no sodas or appetizers, dessert, etc. seems confusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son likes steak and seafood so his order is always on the high end when we go out as a family, but he knows to order in line with the host when somebody else is treating. Don't most tweens/teens know this? If you're worried about it I'd have my son take his friends out for pizza or Chinese food (something family style).

Everyone is assuming that a teen/tween is a jerk if they order an expensive item or that everyone knows this. I am not at all sure that my kids have gone to restaurants without us often enough that they know this rule. They order whatever they want when they are with us (we aren't going to super expensive places) and with friends' families it is more likely to be something like chik fila or pizza. I hope I would remember to remind them of the rule but I could see it slipping my mind. Let's not assume that kids have the etiquette savvy of adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son wants to go out to eat with friends for his bday. The restaurant he picked is fine except there are a few meals on the menu that are expensive. I want to set a max dollar limit per person. I don’t want anyone ordering the $40 fish of the day when there are several options under $25.

It would be better to count on everyone ordering the most expensive option and limiting the number of friends. Maybe you can’t afford the birthday you want to give him or that he wants? That’s fine, but please don’t set a max dollar limit per person, that’s putting the kids in an uncomfortable position.

This is so dumb. Of course you can say "any entree under $25 (or whatever)."

You can, but it is awkward and a little rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son wants to go out to eat with friends for his bday. The restaurant he picked is fine except there are a few meals on the menu that are expensive. I want to set a max dollar limit per person. I don’t want anyone ordering the $40 fish of the day when there are several options under $25.

It would be better to count on everyone ordering the most expensive option and limiting the number of friends. Maybe you can’t afford the birthday you want to give him or that he wants? That’s fine, but please don’t set a max dollar limit per person, that’s putting the kids in an uncomfortable position.

This is so dumb. Of course you can say "any entree under $25 (or whatever)."

You can, but it is awkward and a little rude.

No, it's fine. These are children and this is not a wedding. There is no need for the food equivalent of an "open bar."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son wants to go out to eat with friends for his bday. The restaurant he picked is fine except there are a few meals on the menu that are expensive. I want to set a max dollar limit per person. I don’t want anyone ordering the $40 fish of the day when there are several options under $25.

It would be better to count on everyone ordering the most expensive option and limiting the number of friends. Maybe you can’t afford the birthday you want to give him or that he wants? That’s fine, but please don’t set a max dollar limit per person, that’s putting the kids in an uncomfortable position.

This is so dumb. Of course you can say "any entree under $25 (or whatever)."

You can, but it is awkward and a little rude.

No, it's fine. These are children and this is not a wedding. There is no need for the food equivalent of an "open bar."

+1 I wouldn't invite adults out to dinner and limit what they order, but these are kids, who lack life experience and may not have been taught the social niceties that (most) adults know. It's fine to set reasonable parameters.

[Anonymous]

A PP had the best suggestion. When you send the invite give several choices and ask what they'd like.