Working parents — driving is driving me mad…

[Anonymous]

We have the administrators, teachers and staff stand around the drop off circle and they really make sure that the cars are stopping as far ahead in the drop off circle as possible. They then open the doors and unload the kids super quick.

It is very fast and efficient. Most parents appreciate it and some of the jerk a-hole parents are prevented from doing their usual morning shenanigans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

OP said it’s a 2 mile walk alongside a busy road.

And it’s not like we live in California — they will be damp, smelly, and miserable lugging their backpack 2 miles in DC weather

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

OP said it’s a 2 mile walk alongside a busy road.

And it’s not like we live in California — they will be damp, smelly, and miserable lugging their backpack 2 miles in DC weather

Which DC area district has school buses but expanded walk zones to 2 miles and doesn't have music in school? I don't think OP is from here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they ride bikes if they can’t walk? I don’t think I would do the drop off and pick up if we are in a walk zone.

Riding bikes to/from school is clearly the solution. If you do not really want to solve the problem and were just coming on here to vent, then that is a different matter. These years will pass, and your kids will be driving themselves soon!

The bike idea is very interesting -- they have kinda nice bikes though, so I am worried about getting stolen. Maybe should invest in a beater from a flea market...

DP and I had the same concern. My son assured me that there were many very very very expensive bikes at school. I’m not surprised, considering the cars in the student parking lot. And yes, get a very good lock. The bike could get stolen from anywhere if he ever takes it out. I tried to buy a cheap bike and DS told me that was crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

OP, disregard this answer.
I'm a parent of two teens, neither of who can drive yet, and I think you should disregard this answer. You haven't indicated that you're activity schedule is unreasonable or includes extraneous crap.

This is just how parenting looks at this stage. When your kids were babies, did anyone suggest that you tell your baby to nurse less? No. It's just how they need us at this stage in parenting.

It sucks and you are free to vent about it. I am with you. I am counting down the days until they can either safely drive or leave for college.

My kid's high school has a five-day boarding option, and honestly, somedays that sounds like a god-send.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it all got too much for me and I almost had a breakdown. You can do clubs/ sports at school where you stay after but no more evening activities. My kids are tweens and teens and dropped everything when the youngest was 6.

Unless they are an elite athletes, colleges don’t care. So drop that argument. You kids sound average, this stuff won’t help them.

No, if your kids dont do ANYTHING that really hurts them. We aren’t aiming for elite athlete to Ivy, but having nothing knocks you down further.

Agreed, the PP is giving terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

The kids can walk to and from school. Yes really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

OP said it’s a 2 mile walk alongside a busy road.

And it’s not like we live in California — they will be damp, smelly, and miserable lugging their backpack 2 miles in DC weather

This is HILARIOUS! The true definition of raising a "snowflake". hahahaha I'm a previous poster who said my kids walked 1.8 miles to and from school during middle school (by high school they were on the train for a further distance).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

My kids learned in Kindergarten how to get out of the car. I screamed "tuck and roll!" and they got themselves out promptly. I have a van so I can shut my own doors.

Backpacks in the trunk or front seat? Honestly you should get a ticket for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

OP, disregard this answer.
I'm a parent of two teens, neither of who can drive yet, and I think you should disregard this answer. You haven't indicated that you're activity schedule is unreasonable or includes extraneous crap.

This is just how parenting looks at this stage. When your kids were babies, did anyone suggest that you tell your baby to nurse less? No. It's just how they need us at this stage in parenting.

It sucks and you are free to vent about it. I am with you. I am counting down the days until they can either safely drive or leave for college.

My kid's high school has a five-day boarding option, and honestly, somedays that sounds like a god-send.

Babies need to eat. Kids don’t need all of these activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

OP said it’s a 2 mile walk alongside a busy road.

And it’s not like we live in California — they will be damp, smelly, and miserable lugging their backpack 2 miles in DC weather

Can you please stop infantizing school kids. They can walk or ride bikes to school. Your ancestors are laughing at you right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

NP - I still think a hybrid approach of dropping the kid across the busy road, slightly closer but not right at the school, is the best approach. Walking is good for everyone and parents will spend less time in the car.