Do you think cotillion is racist?

[Anonymous]

Serious question. If the reason you are sending your kids is to learn manners, why not just....teach them manners? Surely, you can figure out which fork to use and tell your child.

[Anonymous]

I went to cotillion in Bethesda as a kid. It was fun and a great way to learn a few things and meet kids from other schools.

I would 100% send my kids.

Shocker..it wasn't all white people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. If the reason you are sending your kids is to learn manners, why not just....teach them manners? Surely, you can figure out which fork to use and tell your child.

There's a community aspect to it. And it's not just manners, it's how to interact with other people their age. Hard to do that at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. If the reason you are sending your kids is to learn manners, why not just....teach them manners? Surely, you can figure out which fork to use and tell your child.

There's a community aspect to it. And it's not just manners, it's how to interact with other people their age. Hard to do that at home.

My son was very nervous to interact with other girls..this gave him confidence. That was worth it alone.

[Anonymous]

No it’s not racist. It’s traditional. The lazy discourse that passes for intellectualism among self-loathing white liberals just assumes anything that isn’t radically post-modern is bad and racist. I happen to think that having some tradition is a good thing. Kids need structure and need norms. This is one way to do it. Might not work for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it’s not racist. It’s traditional. The lazy discourse that passes for intellectualism among self-loathing white liberals just assumes anything that isn’t radically post-modern is bad and racist. I happen to think that having some tradition is a good thing. Kids need structure and need norms. This is one way to do it. Might not work for everyone.

Isn’t it liberals who send their kids to cotillion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. If the reason you are sending your kids is to learn manners, why not just....teach them manners? Surely, you can figure out which fork to use and tell your child.

There's a community aspect to it. And it's not just manners, it's how to interact with other people their age. Hard to do that at home.

My son was very nervous to interact with other girls..this gave him confidence. That was worth it alone.

All boys school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it’s not racist. It’s traditional. The lazy discourse that passes for intellectualism among self-loathing white liberals just assumes anything that isn’t radically post-modern is bad and racist. I happen to think that having some tradition is a good thing. Kids need structure and need norms. This is one way to do it. Might not work for everyone.

Isn’t it liberals who send their kids to cotillion

Not in my experience. The people I know who have done it are very conservative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it’s not racist. It’s traditional. The lazy discourse that passes for intellectualism among self-loathing white liberals just assumes anything that isn’t radically post-modern is bad and racist. I happen to think that having some tradition is a good thing. Kids need structure and need norms. This is one way to do it. Might not work for everyone.

Isn’t it liberals who send their kids to cotillion

No, it’s a mix of political affiliation. The one common denominator is money. I’m not sure where else kids today learn the old fashion things like dancing with a partner and some of the more antiquated manners. I feel like kids aren’t generally exposed to the “stuff” my grandmother cared about since i didn’t care learn it back then. I sent my kids for a bit for exposure but they got tired of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. If the reason you are sending your kids is to learn manners, why not just....teach them manners? Surely, you can figure out which fork to use and tell your child.

Are you teaching your kids how to dance so they are equipped to attend events with movers and shakers in the professional world?

What about soft skills like making conversation with strangers?

If you didn’t attend cotillion, you don’t know what actually goes on there.

I attended cotillion for nearly a year in Georgetown in the late 80s. Guess what? It was fun! It was like going to a dance and then hitting up a local restaurant afterwards for the after-party. Good clean coed fun. Plus we met kids from other schools.

How often do your kids get dressed up and mingle with new people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cotillion is southern, and anything southern is RaCiSt.

/s

If it walks like a duck…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. OP here. I sent my kids. My oldest actually really enjoyed it. My youngest is doing it a little begrudgingly.

I really just sent them to learn how to handle themselves publicly and not stress when they sit down to a place setting with multiple spoons and forks. (That’s one example of why.) I felt like such an idiot the first time I had to attend formal dinners. Or having to greet adults.

I never had exposure to those things growing up but now I do.

But I was also listening to a podcast tonight coincidentally about how etiquette classes are racist. So thought I’d ask the community their opinion.

You can google or go to youtube to learn about place settings and what fork to use. You don't need a cotillion.

IMO, it's outdated, and a little bit gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. If the reason you are sending your kids is to learn manners, why not just....teach them manners? Surely, you can figure out which fork to use and tell your child.

Are you teaching your kids how to dance so they are equipped to attend events with movers and shakers in the professional world?

What about soft skills like making conversation with strangers?

If you didn’t attend cotillion, you don’t know what actually goes on there.

I attended cotillion for nearly a year in Georgetown in the late 80s. Guess what? It was fun! It was like going to a dance and then hitting up a local restaurant afterwards for the after-party. Good clean coed fun. Plus we met kids from other schools.

How often do your kids get dressed up and mingle with new people?

What kind of dance are they learning? Seriously. Send them to a dance class if you want your kid to know how to waltz.

Movers and shakers? Are you telling me that people like Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Paige, Sergey Brin care whether you can waltz? This is very old fashioned thinking, kind of like a cotillion - outdated.

If your kid likes to get dressed up and pretend play, I can see how that would be fun. I would think most boys would find this torture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. If the reason you are sending your kids is to learn manners, why not just....teach them manners? Surely, you can figure out which fork to use and tell your child.

There's a community aspect to it. And it's not just manners, it's how to interact with other people their age. Hard to do that at home.

My son was very nervous to interact with other girls..this gave him confidence. That was worth it alone.

? "interact with kids their age" doesn't mean go to a cotillion. Are you seriously saying that a cotillion will teach a teen boy how to talk to a teen girl in the 21st century? Do you think those cotillions teach them all the current lingo, what's popular, tiktock crap?

I can understand if your kid has social anxiety, and you want them to learn how to interact with people, but surely there are other ways to do that other than a cotillion?

Your kid is getting dressed up, waltzing, and eating at a fancy restaurant with good table manners. Do you think that will make him popular with the girls? Do you think this is what teens are doing when they socialize and at school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it’s not racist. It’s traditional. The lazy discourse that passes for intellectualism among self-loathing white liberals just assumes anything that isn’t radically post-modern is bad and racist. I happen to think that having some tradition is a good thing. Kids need structure and need norms. This is one way to do it. Might not work for everyone.

Isn’t it liberals who send their kids to cotillion

Not in my experience. The people I know who have done it are very conservative.

No. When was the last time you sent a kid to cotillion?