HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?

[Anonymous]

I recognize the capitalized use of “nirvana” in previous posts. Of course you can move; many people do, and without so much handwringing.
But if you are who I think you are, this is about your own feelings of inadequacy and like the school is not doing enough for your $$$. That’s not how that works here.
If you move your kid to a public you’ll improve your admission chances, according to dcum. So go for it, but be honest why. I doubt there’s a school that would satisfy Mrs. Bucket here.
Half your post wasn’t even asking any question just smearing the Big3 and without telling why. Gross.

Um Op Here. I have no idea who you think I am and what you are talking about with Nirvana. Sorry for capitalizing nirvana I was typing on a phone.Its has ZERO to do with college admissions chances. The kid's college chances would be WORSE if they left in 12th- which is why I posted that we feel stuck. I'm not biting and getting specific which I know makes it difficult too give advice but it really would be identifying.

to the other PP I have a bunch of parent friends at the school. . We like the parents. It has nothing to do with that.

I don't know why people are convinced they know things they don't and are so hostile. I'm really asking other parents in the same situation if they would suck it up and stay. It costs a lot for our family and doesn't feel good to be making major financial investments in something we no longer believe in. If this was 6th grade, 8th grade - no brainer we would be out. But I am hearing loud and clear that short of it becoming intolerable for our child, which its not, we need to stay.

[Anonymous]

You seem a bit too dramatic for me, OP.

[Anonymous]

I do care. Unlike PP I also care what prospective toddler parents think. However, I don’t think it’s particularly relevant when prospective parents of pre-K claim that plenty of parents of high schoolers are unhappy. She doesn’t cite friends or their experiences, she mostly gripes about the cost. So I don’t see how it’s relevant?

And yes I do think it’s funny that someone keeps trying to say that the intelligent parents in Big 3 were somehow duped into paying the fees and now because of the posts on dcum see how wrong they were

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really struggling- for a variety of reasons (too identifying to get into but having to do with school culture/how they have handled things with one child) I have come to really dislike our Big 3. We have a rising senior and another High schooler (older than 9th). I feel like its way too late to pull the plug, obviously for our senior. We have spent so much of our savings on this investment and I feel trapped. Obviously we want to do what is best for our kid and pulling a rising senior is not in the cards. Would you pull the younger kid? They are pretty happy and want to stay.

I feel disengaged and even hostile to the school (sorry I really am not being coy- but the details are too revealing). I just pay up and shut up, right?

A parent should not be looking at where their kid goes to school in the context of the bolded. There will never be a "return" on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really struggling- for a variety of reasons (too identifying to get into but having to do with school culture/how they have handled things with one child) I have come to really dislike our Big 3. We have a rising senior and another High schooler (older than 9th). I feel like its way too late to pull the plug, obviously for our senior. We have spent so much of our savings on this investment and I feel trapped. Obviously we want to do what is best for our kid and pulling a rising senior is not in the cards. Would you pull the younger kid? They are pretty happy and want to stay.

I feel disengaged and even hostile to the school (sorry I really am not being coy- but the details are too revealing). I just pay up and shut up, right?

No
You are the consumer this is a business decision you are buying an education.

You get one shot as a parent to do this right.

There are no handcuffs here. Make a change for the younger kid. The older one only if these issues will mess up college etc otherwise that one is settled but the younger one why in the world would you stay.

We moved back to MCPS by 10th grade. For us the math & science where mine excelled just wasn't there. My kids were fine and ended up at schools for them like MIT & CMU.

[Anonymous]

Wow. OP Here- sorry I sound "dramatic." I get it: it's annoying I vented and said I hate the school and won't give the juicy details. But isn't it the point? This is an anonymous place to vent?
Obviously if we felt happy and comfortable with the school and administration we would be talking about it with them.
1. Its not about college list
2. Its not about other parents or social drama
3. It is about a bigger issue with our child that any of you would be upset about.

That's it. I'm out, but I thank those of you who were helpful and who reminded me that yes it's about the kids and as long as they are ok we need to suck it up and pay for a few more years bc leaving may create bigger problems for our kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I recognize the capitalized use of “nirvana” in previous posts. Of course you can move; many people do, and without so much handwringing.
But if you are who I think you are, this is about your own feelings of inadequacy and like the school is not doing enough for your $$$. That’s not how that works here.
If you move your kid to a public you’ll improve your admission chances, according to dcum. So go for it, but be honest why. I doubt there’s a school that would satisfy Mrs. Bucket here.
Half your post wasn’t even asking any question just smearing the Big3 and without telling why. Gross.

Um Op Here. I have no idea who you think I am and what you are talking about with Nirvana. Sorry for capitalizing nirvana I was typing on a phone.Its has ZERO to do with college admissions chances. The kid's college chances would be WORSE if they left in 12th- which is why I posted that we feel stuck. I'm not biting and getting specific which I know makes it difficult too give advice but it really would be identifying.

to the other PP I have a bunch of parent friends at the school. . We like the parents. It has nothing to do with that.

I don't know why people are convinced they know things they don't and are so hostile. I'm really asking other parents in the same situation if they would suck it up and stay. It costs a lot for our family and doesn't feel good to be making major financial investments in something we no longer believe in. If this was 6th grade, 8th grade - no brainer we would be out. But I am hearing loud and clear that short of it becoming intolerable for our child, which its not, we need to stay.

OP you’re all drama and no substance which is why no one can give you advice.
It depends on the type of issue: if you said bullying, anxiety, grades dispute etc which are in no way identifying, people could respond.
But you say hate in capital letters. I think you’ve posted before and I think I know the school. It matters because some schools have had recognized scandals but this one didn’t. But it had plenty of nutty parents.

[Anonymous]

I would let your kids decide. They are old enough to understand options/consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. OP Here- sorry I sound "dramatic." I get it: it's annoying I vented and said I hate the school and won't give the juicy details. But isn't it the point? This is an anonymous place to vent?
Obviously if we felt happy and comfortable with the school and administration we would be talking about it with them.
1. Its not about college list
2. Its not about other parents or social drama
3. It is about a bigger issue with our child that any of you would be upset about.

That's it. I'm out, but I thank those of you who were helpful and who reminded me that yes it's about the kids and as long as they are ok we need to suck it up and pay for a few more years bc leaving may create bigger problems for our kid.

Good move, but why don’t you ask mod to remove the thread since you took a big stinking dump on my school in the headline with no evidence whatsoever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a junior and a sophomore - why can't you say that? If your younger one is happy at the school what is the problem? I think you just have to deal with it.

Children's experiences with the same school can be quite different.

A little confused at this too. OP, please believe that there are plenty of unhappy parents at Big 3's. At this point I would try to ride it out. You've spent and are going to spend a ton of money and it's easy to fantasize about being punitive and going scorched earth but doing so would probably only hurt your kids.

DH and I are sending our oldest to PreK at a Big 3 and I'm already regretting it. It's a huge pile of money and I keep telling myself I'm going to see how this year goes and reevaluate (we have two younger kids to consider too). The parents who we know attending the school range from insufferable and snobby to just ridiculously wealthy and out of touch (playdate this weekend reveled that ridiculously wealthy parents had to scramble to get their $$ out of First Republic after taking on a $5M loan to to side-by-side deals...how relatable! They were shocked that we only had one nanny... husband commenting that we couldn't stop up because we were overextended with childcare costs was met with silence...so many of these families live in a bubble).

Sorry, you know about the plenty unhappy parents how? You’re sending your oldest to PREK next year for chrissakes
You guys are too much

I agree. People with high school kids (like me) literally don’t care what a mom of four years has to say about this.

Because it’s too late for you and your kids. You will defend your parenting choices to the death because you have to. But posts like the pre-k PP make you see what you have done and bring out your insecurity.

It’s ok. It will all be over soon and you can put your Big3 behind you.

I wasn’t OP. My kid is at private, but not big 3. We are thrilled with our decision. I don’t need parenting advice from a mom who has a preschooler and others feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let your kids decide. They are old enough to understand options/consequences.

^ let them each decide independently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. OP Here- sorry I sound "dramatic." I get it: it's annoying I vented and said I hate the school and won't give the juicy details. But isn't it the point? This is an anonymous place to vent?
Obviously if we felt happy and comfortable with the school and administration we would be talking about it with them.
1. Its not about college list
2. Its not about other parents or social drama
3. It is about a bigger issue with our child that any of you would be upset about.

That's it. I'm out, but I thank those of you who were helpful and who reminded me that yes it's about the kids and as long as they are ok we need to suck it up and pay for a few more years bc leaving may create bigger problems for our kid.

If it’s about the kid, how come they are not upset about the bigger issue? But you are and you are worried about creating even bigger issues by leaving. This is so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. OP Here- sorry I sound "dramatic." I get it: it's annoying I vented and said I hate the school and won't give the juicy details. But isn't it the point? This is an anonymous place to vent?
Obviously if we felt happy and comfortable with the school and administration we would be talking about it with them.
1. Its not about college list
2. Its not about other parents or social drama
3. It is about a bigger issue with our child that any of you would be upset about.

That's it. I'm out, but I thank those of you who were helpful and who reminded me that yes it's about the kids and as long as they are ok we need to suck it up and pay for a few more years bc leaving may create bigger problems for our kid.

It’s about the grades and the GPA.
Maybe athletic placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. OP Here- sorry I sound "dramatic." I get it: it's annoying I vented and said I hate the school and won't give the juicy details. But isn't it the point? This is an anonymous place to vent?
Obviously if we felt happy and comfortable with the school and administration we would be talking about it with them.
1. Its not about college list
2. Its not about other parents or social drama
3. It is about a bigger issue with our child that any of you would be upset about.

That's it. I'm out, but I thank those of you who were helpful and who reminded me that yes it's about the kids and as long as they are ok we need to suck it up and pay for a few more years bc leaving may create bigger problems for our kid.

Good move, but why don’t you ask mod to remove the thread since you took a big stinking dump on my school in the headline with no evidence whatsoever?

NP.

Why is it important to you there be no criticism of "my school"? Is DCUM an only evidence-based site? That will really cut down on posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. OP Here- sorry I sound "dramatic." I get it: it's annoying I vented and said I hate the school and won't give the juicy details. But isn't it the point? This is an anonymous place to vent?
Obviously if we felt happy and comfortable with the school and administration we would be talking about it with them.
1. Its not about college list
2. Its not about other parents or social drama
3. It is about a bigger issue with our child that any of you would be upset about.

That's it. I'm out, but I thank those of you who were helpful and who reminded me that yes it's about the kids and as long as they are ok we need to suck it up and pay for a few more years bc leaving may create bigger problems for our kid.

Good move, but why don’t you ask mod to remove the thread since you took a big stinking dump on my school in the headline with no evidence whatsoever?

You can tell which school from the headline? You’re psychic!