19-year-old college student befriended classmate with schizophrenia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please tell her not to be alone with them. I'm sorry for this person but her safety is more important.
I know someone's brother who had this diagnosis + drug use and they ended up beheading a roommate.

Your friend's brother is the outlier, and this crime is more related to drug use than the diagnosis.

The majority of people with a severe mental illness are NOT a danger. Especially if they are compliant with their medication and therapy regiment. The fact that her friend is still admitted as a student actually says quite a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please tell her not to be alone with them. I'm sorry for this person but her safety is more important.
I know someone's brother who had this diagnosis + drug use and they ended up beheading a roommate.

Your friend's brother is the outlier, and this crime is more related to drug use than the diagnosis.

The majority of people with a severe mental illness are NOT a danger. Especially if they are compliant with their medication and therapy regiment. The fact that her friend is still admitted as a student actually says quite a bit.

I never said the majority are. But ops description of his behavior is concerning. It is reality.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, your dd can't really help him.
When the person has their episodes, it's hard to reach them.

Your daughter has alot of empathy and he trusts her so he keeps calling her. She needs to set boundaries. Even if it means, she can only talk to him 1 hour a day. That's even alot really. It is an exhausting to talk to someone with mental illness and having an episode because it goes nowhere. You have to intervene because her daily life is effected. But, knowing she is an adult, it's hard to tell her what to do because she has empathy. It's hard to walk away from someone you care about.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter can and should be kind to her friend but she can help him with this any more than she could with seizures. She should set boundaries that work for her and completely drop the idea she is essential to his health. And tbh I would be open to the idea that rather than schizophrenia he may have something else going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there someone at your DD’s college you can reach out to and raise concerns? Ideally even order him to stop contacting her, but at least monitor the situation?
Also can you distract her? Take her on a trip maybe? She needs to find other ways to feel important and loved besides helping all sorts of problematic people

I don’t even now who I contacted. She’s an adult. If I crossed that boundary she’d probably be incredibly angry with me and feel betrayed.

You're right, and definitely don't try to get him to stop contacting her. That's such a cruel suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there someone at your DD’s college you can reach out to and raise concerns? Ideally even order him to stop contacting her, but at least monitor the situation?
Also can you distract her? Take her on a trip maybe? She needs to find other ways to feel important and loved besides helping all sorts of problematic people

I don’t even now who I contacted. She’s an adult. If I crossed that boundary she’d probably be incredibly angry with me and feel betrayed.

Justifiably so.

Maybe not. Both of my kids colleges (one public, one private) have a mechanism by which *anyone* with a relationship to a kid— parent, roommate, friend, professor, RA, etc, can do an anonymous referral to the counseling center for a wellness/mental health check. Mom would not get any feedback, obviously, because the kid is an adult. But, given the level of student suicides, most colleges have these. As a last resort, it’s something.

But you seem to have a relationship where you can talk to your DD. I agree that that her current counselor is the way in. Give DD the stats and info on schizophrenia. Make sure she knows that no matter what she does, he will more likely than not be homeless and take his own life. That he has a likely fatal disease and she needs to understand that. Then ask if she will talk to her counselor about how she can best support him with such a difficult disease. Don’t even add— without getting yourself pulled in to far. Come from the angle of her talking with someone with experience treating schizophrenia being the best way to learn how to help him. And make her aware that her counselor may be able to tell her how this young man can get SSI, medical care, group housing, etc (and the counselor should do this by helping her get a referral to a case manager. Applying for benefits is not DD’s job).

If she explains this situation, trust that any decent therapist will work with her to draw boundaries and do things like call mobile emergency mental health rather than taking him to the ER, set him up with a case worker. Get real supports in place with people who do this for a living. And take that responsibility off her plate.

And PPs are right. She needs to learn to drawn boundaries now, before she makes decisions about jobs and marriage and kids.

Good luck. It’s a terrible disease with a very sad progression.

Have you ever tried to do any of these services? It’s unbelievably difficult to even get Medicaid. And I’m not sure what mental health homes and services you think are available, but this is a total fantasy land of government help. And the fellow doesn’t have a family to help wade through the paperwork.

Finally, it’d be nice to stop the doom and gloom. It’s is a disease that gets worse without treatment. But help in the first two years can really turn things around fast. Yes many go downhill. But there is a number who can manage this illness.

In fact, I administer one of these benefits for a living. And you wrong— schizophrenia is pretty much the only mental illness for which it is fairly easy for a young person to get SSI—. even with the doing well/ treatment non-compliance and decompensation cycle. schizophrenia is awarded under a separate administrative considerations. And SSI gets you Medicaid. And I literally see this every day.

And I agree. Many other government services are hard to access. But this guy will still do better with a caseworker than DD trying to keep him above water. And it’s better for him to have someone knowledgeable too, because this is convoluted stuff. How far to you think OP”s DD will get helping him get established in a group home.

And, as sad as it is, schizophrenics die about 20 years earlier than the rest of the population (more often from cardiovascular issues due to the cycle of treatment compliance/non-compliance, homelessness and drug abuse than suicide, BTW). And while professionals might be able to help, there is nothing a 19 year old can do to change that.

I stand by getting her therapist involved, because a therapist will understand the dynamics both for DD and the friend, and help DD help her friend without getting pulled under.

I’m not sure someone, alone, would have the mental ability to submit documents. My experience in the DMV is that my adult son could access NO schizophrenic case management since he had private insurance. Student in question has private insurance. . He had to have Medicaid. All these federal programs exist in a la-la land that doesn’t affect most people. Families struggle to help their I’ll patients since the hospitals dump them as fast as they can. .

Also, most families I know complain about the usual SSI deny the first time then appeal. Hire a lawyer and pay out 1/3. If there’s a special process for approval first time it’s not obvious to anyone on the ground.

[Anonymous]

They are nuts. I had a girlfriend who had an insanely hot friend who was skitzo. I met her once.

Now the fun part I had a Hamptons House having a big July 4th party I go invite her out I got single friends.

She comes Saturday morning, we all go beach she is great, we go to club drinking she is fine, Sunday we go to beach, again, have big keg party at house she is getting wacky.

Sunday night at 430am I see her by herself at pool wacked out. She was putting cushions and crap on my pool floats and setting them on fire.

My house was in Westhampton by the pine barren wooded. There was like 25 people sleeping over. She almost burned down while neighborhood.

I found off she went off her meds and two nights of drinking was too much.

Added extra the day before my friend asked her out. She was hot. I had no clue. He chatted on phone with her. He drove to NYC to pick her up, took her to dinner then to the bar after a few drinks she got into a wild double dipping argument. Once again she was drinking

They are like Gremlins they seen nice

I always wondered what happened to her. She was a very pretty blonde around 27 I mean at the beach in a bikini the men were circling, her parents has money as we’re paying her rent in Manhattan, she had a college degree. But she did not have a real job. And as an adult loving on her own no supervision it was crazy.

I be careful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are nuts. I had a girlfriend who had an insanely hot friend who was skitzo. I met her once.

Now the fun part I had a Hamptons House having a big July 4th party I go invite her out I got single friends.

She comes Saturday morning, we all go beach she is great, we go to club drinking she is fine, Sunday we go to beach, again, have big keg party at house she is getting wacky.

Sunday night at 430am I see her by herself at pool wacked out. She was putting cushions and crap on my pool floats and setting them on fire.

My house was in Westhampton by the pine barren wooded. There was like 25 people sleeping over. She almost burned down while neighborhood.

I found off she went off her meds and two nights of drinking was too much.

Added extra the day before my friend asked her out. She was hot. I had no clue. He chatted on phone with her. He drove to NYC to pick her up, took her to dinner then to the bar after a few drinks she got into a wild double dipping argument. Once again she was drinking

They are like Gremlins they seen nice

I always wondered what happened to her. She was a very pretty blonde around 27 I mean at the beach in a bikini the men were circling, her parents has money as we’re paying her rent in Manhattan, she had a college degree. But she did not have a real job. And as an adult loving on her own no supervision it was crazy.

I be careful

I am troubled by your need to point out so many times how hot this person is.

Really, you sounded so disrespectful, with your comment "they are like gremlins."

No, "they" are humans, just like us. Her chronic condition happens to be mental. She is not there for your entertainment. I feel so bad for how people like you must exploit her vulnerability.

[Anonymous]

This guy is a regular with his adolescent wet dream stories. I guess trying to be helpful.

[Anonymous]

My dear little brother had Schizophrenia with delusions and paranoia. It took hold of him with a psychotic break in Nov. 2018 and he died Jan, 2019. Very sad. I tried to get help but the waiting list had him being seen in April. He needed help immediately. There was nothing I nor anyone else could have done. The delusions completely took over his brain. I read his journal and went through his phone and man, was it scary! He probably did not even know he committed suicide because he was deep in a delusion. Very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dear little brother had Schizophrenia with delusions and paranoia. It took hold of him with a psychotic break in Nov. 2018 and he died Jan, 2019. Very sad. I tried to get help but the waiting list had him being seen in April. He needed help immediately. There was nothing I nor anyone else could have done. The delusions completely took over his brain. I read his journal and went through his phone and man, was it scary! He probably did not even know he committed suicide because he was deep in a delusion. Very sad.

I am so sorry for your loss.

If you believe in heaven, he is whole and happy now 🤗

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dear little brother had Schizophrenia with delusions and paranoia. It took hold of him with a psychotic break in Nov. 2018 and he died Jan, 2019. Very sad. I tried to get help but the waiting list had him being seen in April. He needed help immediately. There was nothing I nor anyone else could have done. The delusions completely took over his brain. I read his journal and went through his phone and man, was it scary! He probably did not even know he committed suicide because he was deep in a delusion. Very sad.

I am so sorry for your loss.

If you believe in heaven, he is whole and happy now 🤗

Sorry for your loss. I have a relative with serious mental health issues. I’m more embarrassed that as a society we treat the mentally ill so poorly. There is a lot we can do.

[Anonymous]

She needs to stay away from this guy ASAP. Schizophrenia is very serious - she should not be mixed up in any of this. Let his family deal with this. There was a guy from my high school that ended up with it and killed someone.

[Anonymous]

I know two people with paranoid schizophrenia who developed it in college. Both are kind and nonviolent individuals who were cruelly disabled at the prime of their lives. Today they live simple, quiet lives that include medication and group therapy.