Reply to 19-year-old college student befriended classmate with schizophrenia

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there someone at your DD’s college you can reach out to and raise concerns? Ideally even order him to stop contacting her, but at least monitor the situation? 
Also can you distract her? Take her on a trip maybe? She needs to find other ways to feel important and loved besides helping all sorts of problematic people [/quote]

I don’t even now who I contacted.  She’s an adult.  If I crossed that boundary she’d probably be incredibly angry with me and feel betrayed. [/quote]

Justifiably so. [/quote]

Maybe not. Both of my kids colleges (one public, one private) have a mechanism by which *anyone* with a relationship to a kid— parent, roommate, friend, professor, RA, etc, can do an anonymous referral to the counseling center for a wellness/mental health check. Mom would not get any feedback, obviously, because the kid is an adult.  But, given the level of student suicides, most colleges have these. As a last resort, it’s something.

But you seem to have a relationship where you can talk to your DD. I agree that that her current counselor is the way in.  Give DD the stats and info on schizophrenia. Make sure she knows that no matter what she does, he will more likely than not be homeless and  take his own life.  That he has a likely fatal disease and she needs to understand that.  Then ask if she will talk to her counselor about how she can best support him with such a difficult disease.  Don’t even add— without getting yourself pulled in to far.  Come from the angle of her talking with someone with experience treating schizophrenia being the best way to learn how to help him.  And make her aware that her counselor may be able to tell her how this young man can get SSI, medical care, group housing, etc (and the counselor should do this by helping her get a referral to a case manager.  Applying for benefits is not DD’s job).

If she explains this situation, trust that any decent therapist will work with her to draw boundaries and do things like call mobile emergency mental health rather than taking him to the ER, set him up with a case worker. Get real supports in place with people who do this for a living. And take that responsibility off her plate.

And PPs are right.  She needs to learn to drawn boundaries now, before she makes decisions about jobs and marriage and kids.

Good luck. It’s a terrible disease with a very sad progression. [/quote]

Have you ever tried to do any of these services? It’s unbelievably difficult to even get Medicaid. And I’m not sure what mental health homes and services you think are available, but this is a total fantasy land of government help. And the fellow doesn’t have a family to help wade through the paperwork.

Finally, it’d be nice to stop the doom and gloom. It’s is a disease that gets worse without treatment. But help in the first two years can really turn things around fast. Yes many go downhill. But there is a number who can manage this illness. [/quote]

In fact, I administer one of these benefits for a living.  And you wrong— schizophrenia  is pretty much the only mental illness for which it is fairly easy for a young person to get SSI—. even with the doing well/ treatment non-compliance and decompensation cycle.  schizophrenia is awarded under a separate administrative considerations. And SSI gets you Medicaid. And I literally see this every day.

And I agree.  Many other government services are hard to access. But this guy will still do better with a caseworker than DD trying to keep him above water. And it’s better for him to have someone knowledgeable too, because this is convoluted stuff.  How far to you think OP”s DD will get helping him get established in a group home.

And, as sad as it is, schizophrenics die about 20 years earlier than the rest of the population (more often from cardiovascular issues due to the cycle of treatment compliance/non-compliance, homelessness and drug abuse than suicide, BTW). And while professionals might be able to help, there is nothing a 19 year old can do to change that.

I stand by getting her therapist involved, because a therapist will understand the dynamics both for DD and the friend, and help DD help her friend without getting pulled under.

[/quote]

I’m not sure someone, alone, would have the mental ability to submit documents. My experience in the DMV is that my adult son could access NO schizophrenic case management since he had private insurance. Student in question has private insurance. . He had to have Medicaid. All these federal programs exist in a la-la land that doesn’t affect most people. Families struggle to help their I’ll patients since the hospitals dump them as fast as they can. .

Also, most families I know complain about the usual SSI deny the first time then appeal. Hire a lawyer and pay out 1/3.  If there’s a special process for approval first time it’s not obvious to anyone on the ground. [/quote]

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