By what age do you stop laying with your kids in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lie down and chat with my 13 year old daughter at bedtime for about 10 minutes most nights.

My 11 year old son falls asleep in his own bed alone every night and most nights ends up coming and getting in bed with us still. We don't mind...he'll stop doing it when he wants.

This is my worst nightmare (being woken up nightly post toddlerhood), but whatever works.

Shockingly it doesn't usually wake me up! I just wake up in the morning to an extra body in the bed or his warm little hand on my arm. I will miss it when he hits puberty and decides it's weird!

[Anonymous]

My husband's mom literally tried to lay in bed with him a few days before our wedding and rub his back at 34 years old. I actually had to sit down and have a conversation with him about why that's weird and not ok and why he has to stop acting like his mom is his second wife. Needless to say we aren't married anymore..as far as I'm concerned he can stay married to his mother...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that never lie in bed with their kids?

It is both odd and sad.

I say this as a person who still lies in bed with their kids (11 and 13 years old...)

I don't think it's odd or sad. People have very different levels of comfort around physical affection and what the bedroom is for (just sleep? sleep and sex? TV? Everyone piles into bed together to sleep? lots of other options). I am NOT a snuggly person but my son is the most snuggly child in the world and has been from birth. My daughter is way more prickly and only wants snuggly attention on her own terms, for short periods, and she's always been that way too.

As long as there's nothing sexy going on, there's nothing wrong with cosleeping until adulthood (in my opinion) and as long as a child gets comfort in ways other than physical closeness, there's nothing wrong with NEVER cosleeping (in my opinion).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still do this with my mom and I’m 32.

Met too and I am almost 39!!!
My 3 kids also still do it, but they are young (9, 7, 4). They would love to sleep in the same bed as me and often fall asleep that way, but I can’t sleep in bed with them so I move them or mostly hold their hands until they fall asleep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question in the title.

You?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still do this with my mom and I’m 32.

Met too and I am almost 39!!!
My 3 kids also still do it, but they are young (9, 7, 4). They would love to sleep in the same bed as me and often fall asleep that way, but I can’t sleep in bed with them so I move them or mostly hold their hands until they fall asleep

Me too occasionally and I'm 40. Especially if going through a hard time, or sometimes just lounging to watch a movie etc.

It's rare now that I have 2 young kids, but that's just because they're basically piled on top of me all the time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still do this with my mom and I’m 32.

I still do it when I visit my mom. I’m 43.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m kind of weirded out by the full grown adults doing this! I love my parents dearly, and we cuddled on the sofa even in HS (no TVs in bedrooms) but would feel awkward doing that after college, acquiring a spouse and kids.

What do you see at the difference? I’m the pp that lays on their bed with them to watch tv, we aren’t spooning just both laying back on their bed instead of a sofa. I personally find cuddling at that age (whether on a couch or bed) way more strange than hanging out on a bed

I didn’t say we cuddled now, I said we did when I was in HS.

Another PP explained it better than me, but it’s just weird. First, a bedroom is not for watching TV. A bedroom is a private room for sleeping, dressing, intimate activities. Children may be permitted because they are basically part of you. Once they form their own family unit, it’s better to set some physical boundaries.

Lying on the couch in a family room (a public room) watching TV - no problem.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is 14 and we'll still lie in bed together and read sometime. It's a big bed. The cat likes to join us.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids. My oldest stopped cuddling with us around 11. My middle child is 11 and will tolerate it during a family movie. These two used to come to our beds every night until our third was born when they were 6 and 8 years old. Youngest is 6 and loves to cuddle and lie in bed with me.

I used to want alone space when my oldest were younger. Now I miss waking up with them every morning. One or both kids would somehow end up in our bed even though we put them to bed in their own rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband's mom literally tried to lay in bed with him a few days before our wedding and rub his back at 34 years old. I actually had to sit down and have a conversation with him about why that's weird and not ok and why he has to stop acting like his mom is his second wife. Needless to say we aren't married anymore..as far as I'm concerned he can stay married to his mother...

Y eah! That made it clear to him that you are a controlling psycho with your mind in the gutter. Good he divorced you.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 17 and 21 and I cannot remember the last time they came in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with me but I can promise you that a) at the time I worried they were getting too old to be doing so and yet b) they eventually just stopped doing it, of their own accord, when they didn't need to anymore.

And c) yes, I miss it now.

My 17 year old just started coming and snuggling with me every now and then and I think it is because she is nervous about leaving for college soon and getting nostalgic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 14 and we'll still lie in bed together and read sometime. It's a big bed. The cat likes to join us.

Our cat likes to join us too! I can't quite understand it because my child is still a toddler and a bit over exuberant with the cat at times but I guess the need to snuggle is greater or she (the cat) doesn't really mind too much the toddler affections. (I try to intervene with anything too rough or annoying...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's mom literally tried to lay in bed with him a few days before our wedding and rub his back at 34 years old. I actually had to sit down and have a conversation with him about why that's weird and not ok and why he has to stop acting like his mom is his second wife. Needless to say we aren't married anymore..as far as I'm concerned he can stay married to his mother...

Y eah! That made it clear to him that you are a controlling psycho with your mind in the gutter. Good he divorced you.

Yeah reads like a person who cannot separate any kind of physical affection from sexual affection.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get in their beds (twin beds with many stuffies so there isn’t room) but my 8 and 11 yo get in bed with me to read (before bed or we’ll do family reading time in my bed on weekend mornings). They’ll both come in when they wake up in the morning for a brief cuddle before we get up.