By what age do you stop laying with your kids in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's lying, not laying. You lie in bed today, you lay in bed yesterday. Lay is the past tense of lie.

Probably around age 5.

This. Lying is non-sexual, laying is sexual. I presume you don’t lay with your child anywhere, at any age!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's lying, not laying. You lie in bed today, you lay in bed yesterday. Lay is the past tense of lie.

Probably around age 5.

you are correct, but it's a very incomplete lesson if you don't also explain that lay is the transitive verb, and lie is the non-transitive. it just also so happens that lay is the past tense of the non-transitive lie, and laid is the past tense of the transitive. meanwhile, laid is the past perfect transitive, while lain is the past perfect non-transitive.

OP - We never did that with our kids, other than for maybe reading a book or two.

Do you think the OP understands any of that? People have completely given up on the distinction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about the misspelling grammar police. I’ll never make that mistake again. 😂

It was a general question: reading, chatting, falling asleep, cuddling in some form, etc.

The question stems from the fact that kids grow, but still seem like babies to us, generally speaking.

My 8-year-old doesn't seem like a baby to me, but we absolutely still hang out in bed together. She sleeps in a full size bed and DH or I will often go lay next to her in the bed for 1:1 time around bedtime. We still read with her, chapter books we enjoy sharing, so we'll read a bit and then just hang out and chat. On weekends she often climbs up into our bed with us in the morning to hang out, read, talk about our plans for the day, etc.

Also, when she is sick, I often lay in bed with her to rub her back, read to her, just keep her company. Sometimes if she's running a fever or if I want to keep an eye on her breathing, I'll even spend the night in her bed. I don't sleep well, but that's largely because I'm often waking up to check her temp or listen to her breathing. But in the morning she'll snuggle with me and it's so sweet. I hate when she's sick but I have to admit I like the extra snuggles.

I like the PP who said her 21 yo still does stuff like this to some degree. There are only so many peopel in the world that you can have this level of familiarity/intimacy with so I like the idea of always being able to have this kind of physical affection with each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's lying, not laying. You lie in bed today, you lay in bed yesterday. Lay is the past tense of lie.

Probably around age 5.

you are correct, but it's a very incomplete lesson if you don't also explain that lay is the transitive verb, and lie is the non-transitive. it just also so happens that lay is the past tense of the non-transitive lie, and laid is the past tense of the transitive. meanwhile, laid is the past perfect transitive, while lain is the past perfect non-transitive.

OP - We never did that with our kids, other than for maybe reading a book or two.

Thx, I know. A person is only doing the intransitive in bed. No need to talk about laying objects.

[Anonymous]

I never have. We snuggle in a chair or on the couch (bedtime books, watching TV, singing, etc.) a lot, but I don't lay in bed with DC

[Anonymous]

Never before bed. I loved our long bedtime routine that involved lots of reading and cuddling in an oversized chair, but never together in bed. They would come visit us in the morning. They all stopped at different ages, but the middle one lasted the longest and still came to cuddle on the weekend mornings until about 4th grade. My teen DD will sometimes ask to sleep with me when my DH is travelling for work and I love it. But we read, chat, then go to sleep, so not what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

My son is 10 and has recently stopped asking me to snuggle after turning off the lights. I knew it was coming...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll let you know if the answer is age 21 the next time she's home from college.

She still loves for me to lay in bed beside her and rub her back while she falls asleep. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!!

Mine is only 12 but still lets me do this. I asked her the other day if she thought I'd still be doing that when she has kids- we had a good laugh. I will keep it up as long as she wants

[Anonymous]

I read to my 12 year old in bed and then we listen to an audio book together while she falls asleep.

[Anonymous]

I've never done that.

[Anonymous]

My son stopped wanting to snuggle in bed before he went to sleep at about 8. At about 12 I stopped even going in to sit on his bed to chat. But he started coming to sit on my bed to chat. I now usually come upstairs to find my 16 year old man child sprawled on my bed, waiting for me to come up. Sometime we just sit there quietly, and sometimes he tells me about his day or we crack stupid jokes or rub the dog’s belly. And then he goes back to his video games. It’s one of my favorite times of the day.

[Anonymous]

Who are these people that never lie in bed with their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that never lie in bed with their kids?

Totally normal parents. When they were babies we cuddled them in the glider until they were sleepy, then put them in their cribs. When they moved on to a bed, we'd sit on the side of the bed, read three books, kiss good night and walk out. Now we sit and chat for a few minutes, then kiss and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that never lie in bed with their kids?

Me. I've never done that. When they were still in the crib, we'd read in the glider with them in our laps and then turn out the lights and rock (or nurse up until age 1.5) them to sleep before putting them in their beds and leaving the room. Once they were out of the crib (around age 3) and in a big bed, we started what we still do: we sit next to them in their bed to read books before turning out the light and giving hugs/kisses then the parent goes and sits in the glider and stays there til the kid falls asleep. Our kids are now 8 and 6. The 8 year old recently said that he doesn't want us to sit in the glider til he falls asleep anymore because it's too distracting and he falls asleep better when no one's in there. I was a little sad! But I certainly understand because I'm the same way myself. I wouldn't be able to fall asleep if someone was sitting in my room waiting for me to fall asleep haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and will still lay in bed with either of my parents to watch a show or something if we're visiting each others houses. They both often go to their room to get settled and ready for bed before they want to go to sleep so I go hang out with them on their bed to chat and watch their shows

My daughters are 23 and 23, and they do this, too, when they’re home for a visit.

My son doesn’t get on the bed, but he’ll hang out on a nearby chair. These days, some of the best conversations I’ve had with my grown kids are late at night hanging out before bed.