By what age do you stop laying with your kids in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's lying, not laying. You lie in bed today, you lay in bed yesterday. Lay is the past tense of lie.

Probably around age 5.

you are correct, but it's a very incomplete lesson if you don't also explain that lay is the transitive verb, and lie is the non-transitive. it just also so happens that lay is the past tense of the non-transitive lie, and laid is the past tense of the transitive. meanwhile, laid is the past perfect transitive, while lain is the past perfect non-transitive.

OP - We never did that with our kids, other than for maybe reading a book or two.

Do you think the OP understands any of that? People have completely given up on the distinction.

Now, why would you say that?

[Anonymous]

DS is 24. Comes home and will snuggle with me to chat. DD is 26. She will watch shows with me in my bed. Generally, we are very touchy-feely family, but my kids come in the bed with me only. I listen to their big and small things, life stories of their coworkers, friends etc, etc.
mainly I am very chilled and I give good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question in the title.

Weird question. Normal functional family will have a different answer than dysfunctional abusive family. Question is which one are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that never lie in bed with their kids?

I think the way kid gear and the culture around kids sleeping actually kind of discourages it. You are are told never to co-sleep (not even to nap with your kid on your chest for short periods of time) and that the best place for your child to sleep is in their crib (the "official" recommendation of many pediatricians is to even try to avoid sleeping in a stroller, carseat, or carrier). So that discourages parents from developing even habits that would be okay under the guidelines (like letting your baby sleep on the bed between you and your spouse while you are both awake) that would allow a family to develop habits of snuggling before bed.

And then a lot of people transition from a crib to a toddler bed that is too small for parents to lie down in next to their kid. By the time their child is in a bed large enough for this kind of contact, the family is simply not in the habit and it doesn't seem natural to lie down next to your kid in bed.

I actually think this is very common.

[Anonymous]

It’s a cultural thing. We are non-White immigrants. The crib was always in our bedroom. We nursed on demand, did not CIO. Baby slept on our chest, lap, bed when she was awake. From the crib, the baby went on a queen bed in her room. We read to kids snuggling with them in the bed. We talk and watch movies together in bed.

Around the world, this is normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a cultural thing. We are non-White immigrants. The crib was always in our bedroom. We nursed on demand, did not CIO. Baby slept on our chest, lap, bed when she was awake. From the crib, the baby went on a queen bed in her room. We read to kids snuggling with them in the bed. We talk and watch movies together in bed.

Around the world, this is normal behavior.

I agree this is common across many cultures, including white Americans. While some people clearly don’t, I think it’s definitely the norm here to cuddle with your kids

[Anonymous]

My 4 yo we lay/sit in the twin bed next to his bed till he falls asleep. My six year old only needs that occasionally maybe once/twice a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a cultural thing. We are non-White immigrants. The crib was always in our bedroom. We nursed on demand, did not CIO. Baby slept on our chest, lap, bed when she was awake. From the crib, the baby went on a queen bed in her room. We read to kids snuggling with them in the bed. We talk and watch movies together in bed.

Around the world, this is normal behavior.

I'm white and was born in the US. We also did crib-to-regular-bed, lots of naps on chest and in carrier, lots of family hang out time in bed. My kid still snuggles with us in bed a lot. I don't think this is limited to people outside the US but I agree that aspects of US culture (especially the somewhat extreme paranoia around child sleep) discourage it. I remember my pediatrician being shocked that my baby was still sleeping in our room, and I'd still get up and nurse her in the middle of the night if she woke up, at like 9 or 10 months. Like not "oh, that's not what I would recommend" but like actual shock.

We changed pediatricians.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 5 and we still lie with him until he falls asleep. We are transitioning to sitting on the bed but most days one of us is so tired we end up falling asleep and either wake up after an hour or in the middle of the night. My DH wakes up at 430/500 every day and I require lots of sleep so it is what it is.

We coslept and then he got a full-size bed at 18 months.

Wouldnt change it for the world. And when he no longer wants us to/asks us to and/or we decide we no longer want to then we will have a new routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about the misspelling grammar police. I’ll never make that mistake again. 😂

It was a general question: reading, chatting, falling asleep, cuddling in some form, etc.

The question stems from the fact that kids grow, but still seem like babies to us, generally speaking.

I think kids are never too old for their mom to lie down next to them and chat for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a cultural thing. We are non-White immigrants. The crib was always in our bedroom. We nursed on demand, did not CIO. Baby slept on our chest, lap, bed when she was awake. From the crib, the baby went on a queen bed in her room. We read to kids snuggling with them in the bed. We talk and watch movies together in bed.

Around the world, this is normal behavior.

Well white people do that too so not sure what ignorant stereotype you are basing this on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about the misspelling grammar police. I’ll never make that mistake again. 😂

It was a general question: reading, chatting, falling asleep, cuddling in some form, etc.

The question stems from the fact that kids grow, but still seem like babies to us, generally speaking.

I think kids are never too old for their mom to lie down next to them and chat for a while.

Or Dad.

[Anonymous]

Our two boys are 8 and 6. DH and I trade nights to have 1:1 reading/snuggling time with them. It's one of my favorite parts of the day. We read, then cuddle and chat. My 6YO usually falls asleep while snuggling. My 8YO never does because if someone is in the room with him he cannot stop talking to save his life. He reads with a flashlight after we leave and falls asleep on his own.

They also come to our bed for snuggle time on weekend mornings, although my 8Yo is doing that less and less.

[Anonymous]

Never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never

Ooops that came out wrong. I never started. This is not a normal thing to do, OP.