I don't think I can be friends with moms who drive huge SUVs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care about the SUV’s specifically but yes these types of people are why I don’t really have good friends. I can’t relate to them at all - we are friendly acquaintances and that’s it.

I feel the same about the ski trips out west, home remodels, country clubs, private schools, etc. It’s just never ending for many of these families and I feel like an alien visiting a foreign land I don’t understand. And I’ve been here 15 years.

This, I don't get any of it. It's a values system I wasn't raised with and don't understand.

The thing in the OP I most relate to is that feeling when you notice that a bunch of the people around you all have the exact same thing, like there was a memo that went out. It reminds me of this one woman on my neighborhood listserv who sometimes posts things like, "Ok y'all, what shoes are we all buying for the littles now? Are Natives still in or have people found something better?" It is always extremely jarring to me because she's not asking for a recommendation, she wants to know what "everyone" is doing so that she can do it too. This is such a strange way to go through life, it would not occur to me. When I see her posts, I always click on them so I can read them and the responses, it's like being Jane Goodall or something. Fascinating, but something I observe from a distance.

PP and yes this exactly. It’s a whole mindset, not just the SUV. I feel like such an imposter and so out of place. I think “my people” are probably somewhere in rural New England but I hate the cold and winter so no idea where I will go when my kids finish HS. Thank goodness my DH gets it and gets me. If not I would be totally lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice is to stop being so judgmental. Your kids will pick up that attitude and you’re going to start to wonder fast why they have no friends.

Second, here are a few tips. 1) “travel” sports only means that coaches are getting paid, instead of parent volunteers for “rec” sports. People getting paid for their expert knowledge and labor is a good thing. 2) people live in the suburbs for many reasons and an obvious one is the need for more space. Usually people need more space because they have more than one kid.

They often have 2 kids and live as it they have half a dozen.

[Anonymous]

Come back to DC, OP! We still drive SUVs, but they're electric

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really think that someone who lives in the suburbs and drives to the grocery store and everywhere else can criticize others over eco consciousness? You have just multiplied your family’s carbon footprint by moving there. So apparently you can make selfish eco decisions but others cannot? Glass houses op. If you really cared about these issues you would have stayed in the city. Did you bike to Aldi? Lol nope.

It's the same distance I used to drive when I lived in the city. 5 minutes to the grocery store. My child takes the bus to school. We couldn't afford a house in the city, so we bought a townhouse further out. My work commute is 5 minutes and my husband goes into the city twice a week via train. We are a one car family. I do care about these issues, which is why I posted. I hate the car idling at Americans schools. That's also wasteful and our kids are standing around taking the pollution in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently moved to the suburbs, and they are everywhere. Some of the kids are in travel lacrosse and soccer and they are in FIRST grade. They all have the same exact huge white SUV. It was hilarious the other day because a few of them ran into each other at the grocery store and were talking obnoxiously about their vacations while standing in line at Aldi. Anyway, once I got to the parking lot, they were all talking and loading their groceries. They all have the exact type of car a HUGE white SUV. My first car in high school was a Prius. Dh wants an SUV but I am adamant about having a sedan. We have two kids, and it's fine. Do these people not care about global warming? We had an earthquake a week ago, killing thousands of people. Driving these huge cars is such a waste and global warming contributes to more earthquakes. I went from living in an apartment to this. It's such a big change.

It sounds to me like this is a “you” problem.

Eavesdropping and getting upset about kids talking about their vacations at a supermarket is not normal behavior. I hope that you understand this.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a good idea to let your ideology be known, including disgust over SUVs, because driving a Prius stops earthquakes 😆. Then we will know to avoid you. And I don't even drive a big SUV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do a lot of things for the environment, but we also need to carpool. Our Subaru Outback won’t suffice much longer for the reason that we have 2 kids. We can’t car pool except to bring 1 more kid. There are not a ton of 1 kid families and those families don’t always have space in their cars for our two.

If you want to fit 3-5 kids + sports gear, you will need an SUV or minivan.

+1. I would argue that being able to carpool is better than every family driving themselves in an individual sedan. I guess I should have had the foresight not to have kids at all since they now need rides everywhere and often want to bring friends along.

[Anonymous]

OP would be my friend. I hate SUV's also. Driving a SUV in a suburban area is nothing but a proof of profound stupidity, recklessness, ignorance and selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently moved to the suburbs, and they are everywhere. Some of the kids are in travel lacrosse and soccer and they are in FIRST grade. They all have the same exact huge white SUV. It was hilarious the other day because a few of them ran into each other at the grocery store and were talking obnoxiously about their vacations while standing in line at Aldi. Anyway, once I got to the parking lot, they were all talking and loading their groceries. They all have the exact type of car a HUGE white SUV. My first car in high school was a Prius. Dh wants an SUV but I am adamant about having a sedan. We have two kids, and it's fine. Do these people not care about global warming? We had an earthquake a week ago, killing thousands of people. Driving these huge cars is such a waste and global warming contributes to more earthquakes. I went from living in an apartment to this. It's such a big change.

I drove an SUV a for a long time and I felt safe in it especially when it snows which is rare this year but in years past a few storms a year in DC. Plus traveling it is more comfortable and giving rides to kids friends need more space.

Have downsized now and can only fit 3 kids total in my fancy sedan. SUVs for a family are practical. Kids, suitcases, etc… also we drove more than we fly. How much gas are you using flying all over? Op don’t be so judgmental. You will isolate yourself.

So why not a mini-van? Why the giant SUV?

For us, we had a minivan when the kids were younger. But honestly, we much prefer the way our SUV handles and rides. The turning radius, visibility, comfort, and handling are much better than our minivan. We also have family in New England and make multiple road trips per year. Ours fits the people we need, our large dog, and whatever luggage we need for travel. You know there are hybrid SUVs now. They’re not all the gas guzzling vehicles they used to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a good idea to let your ideology be known, including disgust over SUVs, because driving a Prius stops earthquakes 😆. Then we will know to avoid you. And I don't even drive a big SUV.

never mind I'm Syrian. Yeah, please tell me our biggest problem is the moms SUV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care about the SUV’s specifically but yes these types of people are why I don’t really have good friends. I can’t relate to them at all - we are friendly acquaintances and that’s it.

I feel the same about the ski trips out west, home remodels, country clubs, private schools, etc. It’s just never ending for many of these families and I feel like an alien visiting a foreign land I don’t understand. And I’ve been here 15 years.

This, I don't get any of it. It's a values system I wasn't raised with and don't understand.

The thing in the OP I most relate to is that feeling when you notice that a bunch of the people around you all have the exact same thing, like there was a memo that went out. It reminds me of this one woman on my neighborhood listserv who sometimes posts things like, "Ok y'all, what shoes are we all buying for the littles now? Are Natives still in or have people found something better?" It is always extremely jarring to me because she's not asking for a recommendation, she wants to know what "everyone" is doing so that she can do it too. This is such a strange way to go through life, it would not occur to me. When I see her posts, I always click on them so I can read them and the responses, it's like being Jane Goodall or something. Fascinating, but something I observe from a distance.

PP and yes this exactly. It’s a whole mindset, not just the SUV. I feel like such an imposter and so out of place. I think “my people” are probably somewhere in rural New England but I hate the cold and winter so no idea where I will go when my kids finish HS. Thank goodness my DH gets it and gets me. If not I would be totally lost.

Meh, I feel like the shoe example sounds like something I would say to my friends. Not bc I want to be the same, but bc I know they have probably done some research to figure out what the best shoes are for kids and I want to reap the benefits of that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice is to stop being so judgmental. Your kids will pick up that attitude and you’re going to start to wonder fast why they have no friends.

Second, here are a few tips. 1) “travel” sports only means that coaches are getting paid, instead of parent volunteers for “rec” sports. People getting paid for their expert knowledge and labor is a good thing. 2) people live in the suburbs for many reasons and an obvious one is the need for more space. Usually people need more space because they have more than one kid.

They often have 2 kids and live as it they have half a dozen.

Travel sports means they are staying in hotel mores, eating take out, flying. It's not necessary. A 6 year old doesn't need to drive to Ohio so they can play soccer with another 6-year-old. They can do that locally.

[Anonymous]

When the same people ramming "climate change" down our throats start walking the walk I'll consider changing my behavior but until then I'll keep driving my large white SUV. One trip in a private jet has a larger carbon footprint than a year of my driving. Get off your high horse would be my advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do know that most SUVs you see are hybrid or 4 cylinder, right? This isn’t 2000 anymore where your typical SUV is a gas-guzzling cesspool.

Maybe, though a hybrid car will be even more efficient, and walking, biking or taking public transportation even more so. It's good that SUVs are more fuel efficient than they use to be, but if you are buying an SUV, you are still choosing the least efficient option available to you.

Also, SUVs are more dangerous. An SUV is 2 to 3 times more likely to kill a pedestrian than a car is.

Buying SUVs is selfish, any way you slice it. If you need a larger vehicle due to family size, minivans are safer and station wagons are both safer and generally more fuel efficient (depending on the size of the wagon, many are now almost as big and heavy as SUVs). But people prefer SUVs to minivans because minivans and wagons aren't "cool".

SUVs suck.

[Anonymous]

I’d have no interest with being friends with you either, OP, so no worries. You sound like a self-righteous pain in the butt and I’ll bet your kids are, too.