I don't think I can be friends with moms who drive huge SUVs

[Anonymous]

Look at all of the defensive giant SUV drivers! Really touched a nerve. Not sure why discussing the fact that wasteful lifestyles are wasteful is such a personal slight to so many of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently moved to the suburbs, and they are everywhere. Some of the kids are in travel lacrosse and soccer and they are in FIRST grade. They all have the same exact huge white SUV. It was hilarious the other day because a few of them ran into each other at the grocery store and were talking obnoxiously about their vacations while standing in line at Aldi. Anyway, once I got to the parking lot, they were all talking and loading their groceries. They all have the exact type of car a HUGE white SUV. My first car in high school was a Prius. Dh wants an SUV but I am adamant about having a sedan. We have two kids, and it's fine. Do these people not care about global warming? We had an earthquake a week ago, killing thousands of people. Driving these huge cars is such a waste and global warming contributes to more earthquakes. I went from living in an apartment to this. It's such a big change.

It's a fashion statement of sorts for them -- part of the "uniform" to fit in. Sometimes they are black, though. It's completely over the top and in most cases unnecessary but it's one of the "must haves" so they all have them.

More like a fashion victim.

Yeah, the bottle blondes sporting Lululemon in the giant suvs. It's just so weirdly flashy and conformist at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do a lot of things for the environment, but we also need to carpool. Our Subaru Outback won’t suffice much longer for the reason that we have 2 kids. We can’t car pool except to bring 1 more kid. There are not a ton of 1 kid families and those families don’t always have space in their cars for our two.

If you want to fit 3-5 kids + sports gear, you will need an SUV or minivan.

So in Europe and the rest of the world why are they able to do this without the need for a HUGE suv?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care about the SUV’s specifically but yes these types of people are why I don’t really have good friends. I can’t relate to them at all - we are friendly acquaintances and that’s it.

I feel the same about the ski trips out west, home remodels, country clubs, private schools, etc. It’s just never ending for many of these families and I feel like an alien visiting a foreign land I don’t understand. And I’ve been here 15 years.

This, I don't get any of it. It's a values system I wasn't raised with and don't understand.

The thing in the OP I most relate to is that feeling when you notice that a bunch of the people around you all have the exact same thing, like there was a memo that went out. It reminds me of this one woman on my neighborhood listserv who sometimes posts things like, "Ok y'all, what shoes are we all buying for the littles now? Are Natives still in or have people found something better?" It is always extremely jarring to me because she's not asking for a recommendation, she wants to know what "everyone" is doing so that she can do it too. This is such a strange way to go through life, it would not occur to me. When I see her posts, I always click on them so I can read them and the responses, it's like being Jane Goodall or something. Fascinating, but something I observe from a distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most people are guilty of latching onto something they see as wasteful and judging others while being very wasteful themselves. Water waste, bad recycling (and the opposing "recycling doesn't matter" contingent), plastic toys/products, buying new versus second hand, meat, flying/ travel, commuting... and everyone excuses their lifestyle as reasonably wasteful

The rest of the world doesn't excuse your behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently moved to the suburbs, and they are everywhere. Some of the kids are in travel lacrosse and soccer and they are in FIRST grade. They all have the same exact huge white SUV. It was hilarious the other day because a few of them ran into each other at the grocery store and were talking obnoxiously about their vacations while standing in line at Aldi. Anyway, once I got to the parking lot, they were all talking and loading their groceries. They all have the exact type of car a HUGE white SUV. My first car in high school was a Prius. Dh wants an SUV but I am adamant about having a sedan. We have two kids, and it's fine. Do these people not care about global warming? We had an earthquake a week ago, killing thousands of people. Driving these huge cars is such a waste and global warming contributes to more earthquakes. I went from living in an apartment to this. It's such a big change.

It's a fashion statement of sorts for them -- part of the "uniform" to fit in. Sometimes they are black, though. It's completely over the top and in most cases unnecessary but it's one of the "must haves" so they all have them.

More like a fashion victim.

There's never any accounting for "taste" and to them these project the look they are after. There is also utility as well but that same utility could be achieved another way but it wouldn't fit their "uniform" in terms of look.

[Anonymous]

You haven’t even met these people and you are judging them by what they drive. They may need a large vehicle for reasons unknown to you (you seem to think it’s for status). I don’t live where you live but in my suburb there are plenty of lovely people who drive large SUVs and if I wrote them off bc of that, I would miss out on knowing some very cool people. You can still have your opinions about SUVs but you seem very closed minded to write off all people who drive them. For the record, I don’t have one bc I don’t need that big of a car and would not enjoy parking it. I have a mid-size so you probably wouldn’t like me either. I say life is too short to judge others based on their purchases.

[Anonymous]

OP, there are these things in the suburbs called families. And guess what? They need a way to transport them around.

I know, this is difficult for you to understand. But a family of 4-6 …can’t fit into a Prius. I know, I know, mind blowing, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at all of the defensive giant SUV drivers! Really touched a nerve. Not sure why discussing the fact that wasteful lifestyles are wasteful is such a personal slight to so many of you.

It's one person responding multiple times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care about the SUV’s specifically, but yes these types of people are why I don’t really have good friends. I can’t relate to them at all - we are friendly acquaintances and that’s it.

I feel the same about the ski trips out west, home remodels, country clubs, private schools, etc. It’s just never ending for many of these families and I feel like an alien visiting a foreign land I don’t understand. And I’ve been here 15 years.

This, I don't get any of it. It's a values system I wasn't raised with and don't understand.

The thing in the OP I most relate to is that feeling when you notice that a bunch of the people around you all have the exact same thing, like there was a memo that went out. It reminds me of this one woman on my neighborhood listserv who sometimes posts things like, "Ok y'all, what shoes are we all buying for the littles now? Are Natives still in or have people found something better?" It is always extremely jarring to me because she's not asking for a recommendation, she wants to know what "everyone" is doing so that she can do it too. This is such a strange way to go through life, it would not occur to me. When I see her posts, I always click on them so I can read them and the responses, it's like being Jane Goodall or something. Fascinating, but something I observe from a distance.

Op here. Yes, this this this. I know they don't want to friend me anyway, so I'm not concerned because I don't have the same uniform.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP. You’re living in the wrong era. Get your Time Machine to take you back to the 50s or 60s to calm your nerves and what grates on them so

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You haven’t even met these people and you are judging them by what they drive. They may need a large vehicle for reasons unknown to you (you seem to think it’s for status). I don’t live where you live but in my suburb there are plenty of lovely people who drive large SUVs and if I wrote them off bc of that, I would miss out on knowing some very cool people. You can still have your opinions about SUVs but you seem very closed minded to write off all people who drive them. For the record, I don’t have one bc I don’t need that big of a car and would not enjoy parking it. I have a mid-size so you probably wouldn’t like me either. I say life is too short to judge others based on their purchases.

Yeah no one "needs" a huge SUV. Bs. That's an American thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care about the SUV’s specifically but yes these types of people are why I don’t really have good friends. I can’t relate to them at all - we are friendly acquaintances and that’s it.

I feel the same about the ski trips out west, home remodels, country clubs, private schools, etc. It’s just never ending for many of these families and I feel like an alien visiting a foreign land I don’t understand. And I’ve been here 15 years.

This, I don't get any of it. It's a values system I wasn't raised with and don't understand.

The thing in the OP I most relate to is that feeling when you notice that a bunch of the people around you all have the exact same thing, like there was a memo that went out. It reminds me of this one woman on my neighborhood listserv who sometimes posts things like, "Ok y'all, what shoes are we all buying for the littles now? Are Natives still in or have people found something better?" It is always extremely jarring to me because she's not asking for a recommendation, she wants to know what "everyone" is doing so that she can do it too. This is such a strange way to go through life, it would not occur to me. When I see her posts, I always click on them so I can read them and the responses, it's like being Jane Goodall or something. Fascinating, but something I observe from a distance.

The "I am a mere observer of these sheep" trope. Every high school story has one.

[Anonymous]

This is giving off the same vibe as the mom in Vienna who thought everyone was "conformist" and stepford

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do a lot of things for the environment, but we also need to carpool. Our Subaru Outback won’t suffice much longer for the reason that we have 2 kids. We can’t car pool except to bring 1 more kid. There are not a ton of 1 kid families and those families don’t always have space in their cars for our two.

If you want to fit 3-5 kids + sports gear, you will need an SUV or minivan.

So in Europe and the rest of the world why are they able to do this without the need for a HUGE suv?

I live in Germany. I’ve also lived in Luxembourg, Belgium, and France in the last decade. Guess what.. they’re all driving SUVs and the market for American branded trucks and vans is HUGE.