Uninvited from Super Bowl party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be difficult being the boss's spouse. I imagine especially so in military life. Do you have ways to interact more in civilian circles?

Yes, depending on how the hierarchy is, OP may not actually interact much with the other families that are attending, so they feel it would be awkward for her to attend without her DH. (Just speculating). They may in fact think that she didn’t want to attend on her own. However, the specific email is a little weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what did the email ACTUALLY say? did it say "since bob is working the shift now, sally and the kids are no longer invited either"?

+1 I need to know the text of this email!

"Unfortunately, for capacity reasons, we've made the difficult decision to cut back on the attendees of the 2023 [Unit] Super Bowl party. I appreciate your willingness to [slang] for [person] in order for him to host, but because of the space limitations, it would be best if you conveyed our disappointment to Mrs. Smith that we won't be able to host her and kids this time around."

Maybe it truly was a space thing. But it seemed like such odd timing.

Wow. That is a weird email. Thanks for working for the host. Now your wife and kids can't come so we can invite other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be real.

+1
It is unbelievably rude and uncouth of the host. The only reason they can host is because of your husband!

If my direct report did that, their path to internal advancement would be over and their performance reviews would start getting steadily worse

I was thinking the exact same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you seen this email? This sounds odd to me

+1. This sounds like your husband covering - HE said none of you would come and when he realized you still planned to go he made this up.

No, I was copied on the email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can be difficult being the boss's spouse. I imagine especially so in military life. Do you have ways to interact more in civilian circles?

Yes, depending on how the hierarchy is, OP may not actually interact much with the other families that are attending, so they feel it would be awkward for her to attend without her DH. (Just speculating). They may in fact think that she didn’t want to attend on her own. However, the specific email is a little weird.

Actually, this happens frequently in military life because of deployments and TADs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like there was some miscommunication about the reason your husband took this shift, and that the host failed to understand that you still wanted to go.

I assume this was not an intentional slight, so let it go.

This actually makes sense.

Yeah it’s either a miscommunication or the host is a massive ahole. I’m sorry OP. Sounds like you’re struggling and this doesn’t help.

[Anonymous]

Dumb move on the hosts part offending his boss and his wife and family. And yes that is incredibly rude and especially appalling considering if this is military. And super obtuse on the host’s part.

[Anonymous]

Who watches the Super Bowl with coworkers? That was where you went wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what did the email ACTUALLY say? did it say "since bob is working the shift now, sally and the kids are no longer invited either"?

+1 I need to know the text of this email!

"Unfortunately, for capacity reasons, we've made the difficult decision to cut back on the attendees of the 2023 [Unit] Super Bowl party. I appreciate your willingness to [slang] for [person] in order for him to host, but because of the space limitations, it would be best if you conveyed our disappointment to Mrs. Smith that we won't be able to host her and kids this time around."

Maybe it truly was a space thing. But it seemed like such odd timing.

This makes it sound like the party organizer was someone other than the host family? The whole thing is ridiculous, but not as shockingly rude as it would be if the host made this decision himself. Or did it come from the host’s wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what did the email ACTUALLY say? did it say "since bob is working the shift now, sally and the kids are no longer invited either"?

+1 I need to know the text of this email!

"Unfortunately, for capacity reasons, we've made the difficult decision to cut back on the attendees of the 2023 [Unit] Super Bowl party. I appreciate your willingness to [slang] for [person] in order for him to host, but because of the space limitations, it would be best if you conveyed our disappointment to Mrs. Smith that we won't be able to host her and kids this time around."

Maybe it truly was a space thing. But it seemed like such odd timing.

Whoever wrote this is truly a dick. I'd write these people off and figure out how to attend social activities without these people.

[Anonymous]

Did a male or female write the email?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who watches the Super Bowl with coworkers? That was where you went wrong.

Someone who has been invited to a super bowl party with coworkers.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry OP. The military can be cruel to spouses snd children. Your husband's career may be in jeopardy because his underlings obviously think he is a doormat. I have never heard of an officer in charge taking a shift so underlings can celebrate and the underlings in question are complete jerks in return. Usually you would attend and everyone would talk about how awesome your DH is. This isn't normal and I hope your DH gets a new assignment soon and you PCS far away from these people.

[Anonymous]

Do you see these people often ? Or ever without your husband?

We rarely socialize with anyone from anymore - since, you know that whole pandemic thing- are you even on a first name basis with these people and their spouses ?

Are your children involved in school or extra curricular activities with them ?

If not, you’re over reacting.

Get a dog if you’re lonely . You have a husband and kids. No excuse to complain here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be real.

+1
It is unbelievably rude and uncouth of the host. The only reason they can host is because of your husband!

x100000

That is messed up.