Striver parents: why do do it?

[Anonymous]

When you are the parent of a gifted child, you have to make sure that they are getting the education that is a match for their intelligence level. Else, they get bored and disinterested in education. Then school becomes a drag for them and they are very unhappy. This is the main reason people want their kids to get into AAP. They have gifted kids who yearn to learn and want to be with like-ability cohort so the classroom enviornment is fast paced and they can learn from each other.

If you have a child with limited intelligence or limited thirst for knowledge, you can sit back with a can of beer and chillax. Why would you be interested in academic excellence for a child like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, OP. You’ve never been poor, have you?

Do you think most strivers have been poor?

They know class levels are not fixed in stone.

Everyone's situation is different, but in all likelihood if you come from a well-connected, educated family, then you are going to land on your feet no matter what comes. The people who need to worry about maximizing all of their educational outcomes are those who don't have generational wealth and automatic standing, especially those who are from historically marginalized groups. Your average UMC white male is almost certainly not going to slip into poverty because his parents didn't push him to get into an Ivy. And there are a lot of downsides to the striver mindset as well . . . a focus on meritocracy rather than communitarianism, a sense of superiority and entitlement, an inability to work with people of all backgrounds, etc. Maybe your kid will wind up slightly richer than they would have otherwise, but also less kind and empathetic, and driven by the same anxiety that made you prioritize what you did.

Hahaha, the class climbing strivers can't work with people of all background, but the relaxed country club set can? Let me guess, the help is like a family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be interested in academic excellence for a child like that?

Future success, of course

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are almost 6,000 posts on this board. Most are about how to get your kid into AAP, or TJ, the rest are about AoPS tracks and math competitions or the best way to teach your fourth grader algebra. My question is: to what end? Is it about job security? Or do you want your children to found the next FAANG and secure generational wealth? Is it about the cache of having a child in AAP/TJ/HYP? Because everyone else is doing it? Just curious.

It's for parents whose kids suck at sports and this is where their energy goes.

Unlike you, not everyone left their brains on the football field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you are the parent of a gifted child, you have to make sure that they are getting the education that is a match for their intelligence level. Else, they get bored and disinterested in education. Then school becomes a drag for them and they are very unhappy. This is the main reason people want their kids to get into AAP. They have gifted kids who yearn to learn and want to be with like-ability cohort so the classroom enviornment is fast paced and they can learn from each other.

If you have a child with limited intelligence or limited thirst for knowledge, you can sit back with a can of beer and chillax. Why would you be interested in academic excellence for a child like that?

I really hope you are troll but damn I've actually met AAP parents who believe this nonsense. Again, as an AAP parent-you people give the program a bad rep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you are the parent of a gifted child, you have to make sure that they are getting the education that is a match for their intelligence level. Else, they get bored and disinterested in education. Then school becomes a drag for them and they are very unhappy. This is the main reason people want their kids to get into AAP. They have gifted kids who yearn to learn and want to be with like-ability cohort so the classroom enviornment is fast paced and they can learn from each other.

If you have a child with limited intelligence or limited thirst for knowledge, you can sit back with a can of beer and chillax. Why would you be interested in academic excellence for a child like that?

My AAP accepted child wanted to stay at his base school with his friends. He agreed that attending a program like RSM would work well for meeting his math needs, he loves math and enjoys being challenged in that area. He reads at home, enjoys going to museums, enjoys playing strategic board games at home (problem solving, strategy, thinking ahead, math, all sorts of skills in a fun package), and asks to go to STEM programs. We use those to keep him interested and allow for school to be some place that he enjoys, can be with his friends, and learn at an ok pace in some subjects.

He would be fine in AAP. He is smart and very capable. He can be challenged in many ways and still get something out of school at his base.

You all forget that many of the Gen Ed kids you are poopooing are going to end up in AP and IB classes with your kids and they will do just fine. The only area that AAP kids will end up ahead of their Gen Ed counterparts is in math. And that is not a given because not all the AAP kids end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade and there are Advanced Math kids in Gen Ed that do end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade.

I have no clue why the high SES parents are so into AAP because their kids gain no real advantage over the other kids at their schools. I fully understand why AAP is important at Title 1 schools or near Title 1 schools. I would guess that the vast majority of the posters who are agonizing over AAP on this board fall into the High SES crowd who are focused on TJ.

In the long run, AAP really doesn’t mean that much. It is nice and I think it is valuable to have as an option. I don’t think it is worth the level of angst that the parents on this forum attach to it. There are far too many ways to challenge a smart kid that are not even all that hard to do to place the level of emphasis that parents place on AAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you are the parent of a gifted child, you have to make sure that they are getting the education that is a match for their intelligence level. Else, they get bored and disinterested in education. Then school becomes a drag for them and they are very unhappy. This is the main reason people want their kids to get into AAP. They have gifted kids who yearn to learn and want to be with like-ability cohort so the classroom enviornment is fast paced and they can learn from each other.

If you have a child with limited intelligence or limited thirst for knowledge, you can sit back with a can of beer and chillax. Why would you be interested in academic excellence for a child like that?

My AAP accepted child wanted to stay at his base school with his friends. He agreed that attending a program like RSM would work well for meeting his math needs, he loves math and enjoys being challenged in that area. He reads at home, enjoys going to museums, enjoys playing strategic board games at home (problem solving, strategy, thinking ahead, math, all sorts of skills in a fun package), and asks to go to STEM programs. We use those to keep him interested and allow for school to be some place that he enjoys, can be with his friends, and learn at an ok pace in some subjects.

He would be fine in AAP. He is smart and very capable. He can be challenged in many ways and still get something out of school at his base.

You all forget that many of the Gen Ed kids you are poopooing are going to end up in AP and IB classes with your kids and they will do just fine. The only area that AAP kids will end up ahead of their Gen Ed counterparts is in math. And that is not a given because not all the AAP kids end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade and there are Advanced Math kids in Gen Ed that do end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade.

I have no clue why the high SES parents are so into AAP because their kids gain no real advantage over the other kids at their schools. I fully understand why AAP is important at Title 1 schools or near Title 1 schools. I would guess that the vast majority of the posters who are agonizing over AAP on this board fall into the High SES crowd who are focused on TJ.

In the long run, AAP really doesn’t mean that much. It is nice and I think it is valuable to have as an option. I don’t think it is worth the level of angst that the parents on this forum attach to it. There are far too many ways to challenge a smart kid that are not even all that hard to do to place the level of emphasis that parents place on AAP.

Thank you for your perspective as someone who has no personal experience with AAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you are the parent of a gifted child, you have to make sure that they are getting the education that is a match for their intelligence level. Else, they get bored and disinterested in education. Then school becomes a drag for them and they are very unhappy. This is the main reason people want their kids to get into AAP. They have gifted kids who yearn to learn and want to be with like-ability cohort so the classroom enviornment is fast paced and they can learn from each other.

If you have a child with limited intelligence or limited thirst for knowledge, you can sit back with a can of beer and chillax. Why would you be interested in academic excellence for a child like that?

My AAP accepted child wanted to stay at his base school with his friends. He agreed that attending a program like RSM would work well for meeting his math needs, he loves math and enjoys being challenged in that area. He reads at home, enjoys going to museums, enjoys playing strategic board games at home (problem solving, strategy, thinking ahead, math, all sorts of skills in a fun package), and asks to go to STEM programs. We use those to keep him interested and allow for school to be some place that he enjoys, can be with his friends, and learn at an ok pace in some subjects.

He would be fine in AAP. He is smart and very capable. He can be challenged in many ways and still get something out of school at his base.

You all forget that many of the Gen Ed kids you are poopooing are going to end up in AP and IB classes with your kids and they will do just fine. The only area that AAP kids will end up ahead of their Gen Ed counterparts is in math. And that is not a given because not all the AAP kids end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade and there are Advanced Math kids in Gen Ed that do end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade.

I have no clue why the high SES parents are so into AAP because their kids gain no real advantage over the other kids at their schools. I fully understand why AAP is important at Title 1 schools or near Title 1 schools. I would guess that the vast majority of the posters who are agonizing over AAP on this board fall into the High SES crowd who are focused on TJ.

In the long run, AAP really doesn’t mean that much. It is nice and I think it is valuable to have as an option. I don’t think it is worth the level of angst that the parents on this forum attach to it. There are far too many ways to challenge a smart kid that are not even all that hard to do to place the level of emphasis that parents place on AAP.

Yes, AAP is more about SES than giftedness. That's how it's always been. It's just a way to sort kids by their parents income level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you are the parent of a gifted child, you have to make sure that they are getting the education that is a match for their intelligence level. Else, they get bored and disinterested in education. Then school becomes a drag for them and they are very unhappy. This is the main reason people want their kids to get into AAP. They have gifted kids who yearn to learn and want to be with like-ability cohort so the classroom enviornment is fast paced and they can learn from each other.

If you have a child with limited intelligence or limited thirst for knowledge, you can sit back with a can of beer and chillax. Why would you be interested in academic excellence for a child like that?

My AAP accepted child wanted to stay at his base school with his friends. He agreed that attending a program like RSM would work well for meeting his math needs, he loves math and enjoys being challenged in that area. He reads at home, enjoys going to museums, enjoys playing strategic board games at home (problem solving, strategy, thinking ahead, math, all sorts of skills in a fun package), and asks to go to STEM programs. We use those to keep him interested and allow for school to be some place that he enjoys, can be with his friends, and learn at an ok pace in some subjects.

He would be fine in AAP. He is smart and very capable. He can be challenged in many ways and still get something out of school at his base.

You all forget that many of the Gen Ed kids you are poopooing are going to end up in AP and IB classes with your kids and they will do just fine. The only area that AAP kids will end up ahead of their Gen Ed counterparts is in math. And that is not a given because not all the AAP kids end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade and there are Advanced Math kids in Gen Ed that do end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade.

I have no clue why the high SES parents are so into AAP because their kids gain no real advantage over the other kids at their schools. I fully understand why AAP is important at Title 1 schools or near Title 1 schools. I would guess that the vast majority of the posters who are agonizing over AAP on this board fall into the High SES crowd who are focused on TJ.

In the long run, AAP really doesn’t mean that much. It is nice and I think it is valuable to have as an option. I don’t think it is worth the level of angst that the parents on this forum attach to it. There are far too many ways to challenge a smart kid that are not even all that hard to do to place the level of emphasis that parents place on AAP.

Yes, AAP is more about SES than giftedness. That's how it's always been. It's just a way to sort kids by their parents income level.

Doesn't it burn that it isn't true?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are almost 6,000 posts on this board. Most are about how to get your kid into AAP, or TJ, the rest are about AoPS tracks and math competitions or the best way to teach your fourth grader algebra. My question is: to what end? Is it about job security? Or do you want your children to found the next FAANG and secure generational wealth? Is it about the cache of having a child in AAP/TJ/HYP? Because everyone else is doing it? Just curious.

for the bumper sticker of course!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you are the parent of a gifted child, you have to make sure that they are getting the education that is a match for their intelligence level. Else, they get bored and disinterested in education. Then school becomes a drag for them and they are very unhappy. This is the main reason people want their kids to get into AAP. They have gifted kids who yearn to learn and want to be with like-ability cohort so the classroom enviornment is fast paced and they can learn from each other.

If you have a child with limited intelligence or limited thirst for knowledge, you can sit back with a can of beer and chillax. Why would you be interested in academic excellence for a child like that?

My AAP accepted child wanted to stay at his base school with his friends. He agreed that attending a program like RSM would work well for meeting his math needs, he loves math and enjoys being challenged in that area. He reads at home, enjoys going to museums, enjoys playing strategic board games at home (problem solving, strategy, thinking ahead, math, all sorts of skills in a fun package), and asks to go to STEM programs. We use those to keep him interested and allow for school to be some place that he enjoys, can be with his friends, and learn at an ok pace in some subjects.

He would be fine in AAP. He is smart and very capable. He can be challenged in many ways and still get something out of school at his base.



You all forget that many of the Gen Ed kids you are poopooing are going to end up in AP and IB classes with your kids and they will do just fine. The only area that AAP kids will end up ahead of their Gen Ed counterparts is in math. And that is not a given because not all the AAP kids end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade and there are Advanced Math kids in Gen Ed that do end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade.

I have no clue why the high SES parents are so into AAP because their kids gain no real advantage over the other kids at their schools. I fully understand why AAP is important at Title 1 schools or near Title 1 schools. I would guess that the vast majority of the posters who are agonizing over AAP on this board fall into the High SES crowd who are focused on TJ.

In the long run, AAP really doesn’t mean that much. It is nice and I think it is valuable to have as an option. I don’t think it is worth the level of angst that the parents on this forum attach to it. There are far too many ways to challenge a smart kid that are not even all that hard to do to place the level of emphasis that parents place on AAP.

Yes, AAP is more about SES than giftedness. That's how it's always been. It's just a way to sort kids by their parents income level.

Doesn't it burn that it isn't true?

Sadly it is the American way. We just talk a better game sometimes with they whole “bring me you tired poor etc” Test scores= SES level. A meritocracy we are not.

[Anonymous]

I did it because my kid wanted to be in a more challenging environment.

Was not in-pool in 2nd grade so stayed at base school in Gen Ed with no LLIV.
3rd grade was a mess after all the AAP kids had moved to the center.
Had kid tested in 3rd grade- WISC, Stanford Binet were within gifted range but GBRS ratings were not good.
Was accepted in AAP on appeal.
From 4th grade to 8th, School was amazing. Kid was excited daily to be in a rigorous, higher-expectation environment with like-minded peers.
Kid spent summers doing academic enrichment, which is what they wanted.
Kid excelled in HS and took AP in all 7 courses in 12th grade. (13 total, and wished they did more)

This kid has high Ambition+ Ability + Work Ethic.
I had to support this kid with Opportunity when they wanted a rigorous environment, so working through the process to get into AAP was worth it. Their environment had to meet them where they were at.

There are kids who were in Gen Ed who are taking AP courses in HS and have done well. Kids blossom at different ages.
For the most part, the same AAP cohort that my kid had in elementary are still the same students in their AP classes, although yes, some have struggled in HS when ambition and work ethic became more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are almost 6,000 posts on this board. Most are about how to get your kid into AAP, or TJ, the rest are about AoPS tracks and math competitions or the best way to teach your fourth grader algebra. My question is: to what end? Is it about job security? Or do you want your children to found the next FAANG and secure generational wealth? Is it about the cache of having a child in AAP/TJ/HYP? Because everyone else is doing it? Just curious.

for the bumper sticker of course!

I know this was posted tongue in cheek, but it’s partially true.

It also comes from an inability to look at the America that many of these families have moved to and realize that they’re not in India, China, or South Korea anymore and that it’s not only possible but likely to have a fulfilling, MC to UMC existence without educational prestige.

Many Indian parents that I hear from are quite fond of telling their kids that if they don’t get into TJ or an Ivy, they’ll end up in a call center or a drive-thru. And while that may very well have been the case for them, it isn’t at all the case for their kids. Failing to adjust to the reality that you intentionally moved to for the increased opportunities is exceedingly myopic and frankly kind of dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did it because my kid wanted to be in a more challenging environment.

Was not in-pool in 2nd grade so stayed at base school in Gen Ed with no LLIV.
3rd grade was a mess after all the AAP kids had moved to the center.
Had kid tested in 3rd grade- WISC, Stanford Binet were within gifted range but GBRS ratings were not good.
Was accepted in AAP on appeal.
From 4th grade to 8th, School was amazing. Kid was excited daily to be in a rigorous, higher-expectation environment with like-minded peers.
Kid spent summers doing academic enrichment, which is what they wanted.
Kid excelled in HS and took AP in all 7 courses in 12th grade. (13 total, and wished they did more)

This kid has high Ambition+ Ability + Work Ethic.
I had to support this kid with Opportunity when they wanted a rigorous environment, so working through the process to get into AAP was worth it. Their environment had to meet them where they were at.

There are kids who were in Gen Ed who are taking AP courses in HS and have done well. Kids blossom at different ages.
For the most part, the same AAP cohort that my kid had in elementary are still the same students in their AP classes, although yes, some have struggled in HS when ambition and work ethic became more important.

I did it because I didn't want my kids in with the gen pop and felt AAP was more exclusive and higher SES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you are the parent of a gifted child, you have to make sure that they are getting the education that is a match for their intelligence level. Else, they get bored and disinterested in education. Then school becomes a drag for them and they are very unhappy. This is the main reason people want their kids to get into AAP. They have gifted kids who yearn to learn and want to be with like-ability cohort so the classroom enviornment is fast paced and they can learn from each other.

If you have a child with limited intelligence or limited thirst for knowledge, you can sit back with a can of beer and chillax. Why would you be interested in academic excellence for a child like that?

My AAP accepted child wanted to stay at his base school with his friends. He agreed that attending a program like RSM would work well for meeting his math needs, he loves math and enjoys being challenged in that area. He reads at home, enjoys going to museums, enjoys playing strategic board games at home (problem solving, strategy, thinking ahead, math, all sorts of skills in a fun package), and asks to go to STEM programs. We use those to keep him interested and allow for school to be some place that he enjoys, can be with his friends, and learn at an ok pace in some subjects.

He would be fine in AAP. He is smart and very capable. He can be challenged in many ways and still get something out of school at his base.

You all forget that many of the Gen Ed kids you are poopooing are going to end up in AP and IB classes with your kids and they will do just fine. The only area that AAP kids will end up ahead of their Gen Ed counterparts is in math. And that is not a given because not all the AAP kids end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade and there are Advanced Math kids in Gen Ed that do end up in Algebra 1 in 7th grade.

I have no clue why the high SES parents are so into AAP because their kids gain no real advantage over the other kids at their schools. I fully understand why AAP is important at Title 1 schools or near Title 1 schools. I would guess that the vast majority of the posters who are agonizing over AAP on this board fall into the High SES crowd who are focused on TJ.

In the long run, AAP really doesn’t mean that much. It is nice and I think it is valuable to have as an option. I don’t think it is worth the level of angst that the parents on this forum attach to it. There are far too many ways to challenge a smart kid that are not even all that hard to do to place the level of emphasis that parents place on AAP.

Yes, AAP is more about SES than giftedness. That's how it's always been. It's just a way to sort kids by their parents income level.

and behavior. It gets worse as kids get older. The wealthy non AAP families leave for private because too many gen eds kids are out of control and not into school at all.