Striver parents: why do do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AAP is a better education with less distraction. RSM, etc are so that my kid can keep up in AAP, to be frank. They need tutoring/enrichment because the classes move fast and the math is really hard.

My kids are in math enrichment. AAP is behind what they get in these programs.

Sorry that your kids got the watered down AAP.

Better math acceleration is available in the more affluent districts where parents with means throw their weight around to demand it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AAP is a better education with less distraction. RSM, etc are so that my kid can keep up in AAP, to be frank. They need tutoring/enrichment because the classes move fast and the math is really hard.

I don’t come here often but I don’t think AAP math is hard, — at least not as hard as when I was a kid in my home country. And this is precisely why I’d like my kids to be in the program: to get enough intellectual challenge instead of getting used to being a coaster.
My AAP kid gets in without prep and is still coasting in AAP most of the time to be honest. I gave her supplements occasionally either when she can’t solve a problem in her CML test, or when I feel she’s not 100% mastering a concept. I’d explain the thinking process and gave her a few similar problems to practice. That’s all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AAP is a better education with less distraction. RSM, etc are so that my kid can keep up in AAP, to be frank. They need tutoring/enrichment because the classes move fast and the math is really hard.

If your kid needs RSM to stay on AAP level math and thinks that it is hard, they probably don’t belong in Advanced Math or AAP. If your kid is in 3rd or 4th grade they are probably going to struggle in 5th grade when they jump an entire grade level.

My kid is in Advanced Math, we deferred. His class is a grade level ahead, so 6th grade math in 5th grade. We do RSM because Advanced Math is not engaging enough for him. AAP Math is the same curriculum as Advanced Math so being at the Center would not have changed anything. He is in RSM Honors class and finds that kind of challenging but not really. We are looking at Geometry at RSM in 6th grade because we figure the Pre-Algebra will be the same thing he is doing at school and at least the Geometry sequence will not be something he is working on at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AAP is a better education with less distraction. RSM, etc are so that my kid can keep up in AAP, to be frank. They need tutoring/enrichment because the classes move fast and the math is really hard.

If your kid needs RSM to stay on AAP level math and thinks that it is hard, they probably don’t belong in Advanced Math or AAP. If your kid is in 3rd or 4th grade they are probably going to struggle in 5th grade when they jump an entire grade level.

My kid is in Advanced Math, we deferred. His class is a grade level ahead, so 6th grade math in 5th grade. We do RSM because Advanced Math is not engaging enough for him. AAP Math is the same curriculum as Advanced Math so being at the Center would not have changed anything. He is in RSM Honors class and finds that kind of challenging but not really. We are looking at Geometry at RSM in 6th grade because we figure the Pre-Algebra will be the same thing he is doing at school and at least the Geometry sequence will not be something he is working on at school.

Yes, this is exactly the problem with most preppers. They access these programs but simply don't belong. This leads to a toxic environment and why I'm grateful for the improved process FCPS has gone with.

[Anonymous]

Because many folks here got here themselves, or their parents, by being a higher achiever than some of their peers back in their small town, and so they naturally try to do it again with their kids and set them up to be competitive here. Many will hit walls in high school or by college. There's a huge difference between Betsy reading 1 grade level ahead in 2nd grade because mommy takes her to Kumon and test prep versus crushing AP Calculus and 10 other AP courses

[Anonymous]

A lot of these replies don’t scream striver to me. Wanting your kid to get a solid education and do their best to me is just good parenting. Forcing them into ECs they don’t enjoy, berating them for Bs, pushing a T20 school, losing their shit if they don’t get into Algebra in 7th (I’ve seen it)….that’s being a striver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AAP is a better education with less distraction. RSM, etc are so that my kid can keep up in AAP, to be frank. They need tutoring/enrichment because the classes move fast and the math is really hard.

My kids are in math enrichment. AAP is behind what they get in these programs.

Sorry that your kids got the watered down AAP.

Nah AAP math is really not advanced. At all. My kid is at a center in MS. RSM and AoPS are way ahead of FCPS math. She’s done both. And math isn’t even her strength, she’s a humanities person. Not only is AAP math not advanced, it’s not in depth. It’s one of my pet peeves with AAP math. It’s accelerated but definitely not in depth. I don’t care about acceleration. I want my kids to have a solid foundation for later math course work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AAP is a better education with less distraction. RSM, etc are so that my kid can keep up in AAP, to be frank. They need tutoring/enrichment because the classes move fast and the math is really hard.

My kids are in math enrichment. AAP is behind what they get in these programs.

Sorry that your kids got the watered down AAP.

Nah AAP math is really not advanced. At all. My kid is at a center in MS. RSM and AoPS are way ahead of FCPS math. She’s done both. And math isn’t even her strength, she’s a humanities person. Not only is AAP math not advanced, it’s not in depth. It’s one of my pet peeves with AAP math. It’s accelerated but definitely not in depth. I don’t care about acceleration. I want my kids to have a solid foundation for later math course work.

and this is why we have college students not prepared for college work. They either forgot it OR they never fully internalized it the first time. They have to retake Calc and Stats in college anyway. It’s all a big race to nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AAP is a better education with less distraction. RSM, etc are so that my kid can keep up in AAP, to be frank. They need tutoring/enrichment because the classes move fast and the math is really hard.

My kids are in math enrichment. AAP is behind what they get in these programs.

Sorry that your kids got the watered down AAP.

Nah AAP math is really not advanced. At all. My kid is at a center in MS. RSM and AoPS are way ahead of FCPS math. She’s done both. And math isn’t even her strength, she’s a humanities person. Not only is AAP math not advanced, it’s not in depth. It’s one of my pet peeves with AAP math. It’s accelerated but definitely not in depth. I don’t care about acceleration. I want my kids to have a solid foundation for later math course work.

Advanced Math is hard for some kids and there are plenty of kids who would not be able to handle it. There are kids who find it easy because they love math or are just naturally good at math, those kids need parents who are looking for enrichment opportunities so that the kids remain engaged with math, even if it is outside of class. That actually goes for most subjects. DS is ahead in math but his writing is above grade level but not by that much. He needs different supports then a kid on grade level or who is farther ahead.

I think that is what me irks most about this board is that people fail to understand that the regular curriculum is hard for a lot of kids. It is not easy and we need to stop pretending like AAP is watered down or not challenging. While there are kids who could move into AAP reasonably easy, most kids would not be able to handle the work. There are kids struggling with Gen Ed, even at the top ES in the County.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these replies don’t scream striver to me. Wanting your kid to get a solid education and do their best to me is just good parenting. Forcing them into ECs they don’t enjoy, berating them for Bs, pushing a T20 school, losing their shit if they don’t get into Algebra in 7th (I’ve seen it)….that’s being a striver.

You're exactly right - but you see a ton of what you're describing in the TJ-adjacent community.

Part of the goal of the new admissions process is 1) to disincentivize this sort of destructive behavior among middle and elementary school students by making it largely irrelevant to getting into TJ and 2) to minimize the number of families who are bringing this attitude into TJ, which is challenging enough as it is without adding toxicity and pressure-cooker behavior from parents and other students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these replies don’t scream striver to me. Wanting your kid to get a solid education and do their best to me is just good parenting. Forcing them into ECs they don’t enjoy, berating them for Bs, pushing a T20 school, losing their shit if they don’t get into Algebra in 7th (I’ve seen it)….that’s being a striver.

You're exactly right - but you see a ton of what you're describing in the TJ-adjacent community.

Part of the goal of the new admissions process is 1) to disincentivize this sort of destructive behavior among middle and elementary school students by making it largely irrelevant to getting into TJ and 2) to minimize the number of families who are bringing this attitude into TJ, which is challenging enough as it is without adding toxicity and pressure-cooker behavior from parents and other students.

It's great to know they're aware of the problems and making these changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think that is what me irks most about this board is that people fail to understand that the regular curriculum is hard for a lot of kids. It is not easy and we need to stop pretending like AAP is watered down or not challenging. While there are kids who could move into AAP reasonably easy, most kids would not be able to handle the work. There are kids struggling with Gen Ed, even at the top ES in the County.

Both bolded parts are true. The majority of kids in FCPS would not be able to handle AAP language arts or advanced math. But, for a self-contained gifted program where kids are being bused to different schools, AAP is quite watered down and not challenging. As it stands, AAP offers a slightly accelerated, slightly deeper curriculum that is suitable for above average kids. Average or below average kids would find it too fast. Gifted kids would find it way too slow and watered down. Very few schools feel the need to have self contained programs to offer a mildly accelerated curriculum to their above average students. It's pretty ludicrous that schools can't serve their above average kids by offering advanced math and an advanced language arts class, with admissions for each handled on a yearly basis.

[Anonymous]

At our kids' elementary school half the students are LLIV. It's the sort of environment that encourages them to seek challenges, and both qualified for AAP without us having to do anything. Staying local was a huge factor - neither of them wanted to switch schools just for the sake of AAP.

I hate to say it, but the main thing we did as parents that set them on this path was to buy a house in our particular neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our kids' elementary school half the students are LLIV. It's the sort of environment that encourages them to seek challenges, and both qualified for AAP without us having to do anything. Staying local was a huge factor - neither of them wanted to switch schools just for the sake of AAP.

I hate to say it, but the main thing we did as parents that set them on this path was to buy a house in our particular neighborhood.

What's LLIV? Did you know the program would be good before you moved here? Do you feel comfortable sharing the school's name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people just blindly compete to gain more resources than the people around them, without thinking about the end goal or why they are doing it.

You are not bound to get many truly introspective comments here. Because the kind of people who obsessively push their kids to be number one in their class are not the kind of people who are thinking about why they are doing it, beyond "job security," and "challenging their kids."

It's the worst of human nature, but it's something we all have to varying degrees.

This. Hoarding resources is a survival instinct. Most people don't stop to consider the end game when everyone else is trying to secure spots at these schools. They just act to soothe their own anxiety about not giving their children enough of an edge.

You sound like you're enlightened, so enlighten us. What are people not considering about the "end game". I seriously have no idea what "end game" you're referring to. Because this sounds like cope to me.