Feel like my boyfriend is cheap

[Anonymous]

Ghost.

[Anonymous]

He's probably in tons of debt. Requesting gas cash might just be scratching the surface of his issues

[Anonymous]

First, OP, I'll start with my advice. Yes, I agree with others that you should break up with him, but not necessarily because he's cheap like others. But he has different priorities. He spends money on experiences and activities, but not on you. You want him to spend more on you. Different priorities. One of the most common reasons for divorces and break ups is different attitudes towards money. That is something that people have a hard time changing. So, if you feel it is a dealbreaker, you should break up with him because he will not change. He will also spend lavishly on things that matter to him or experiences or things he'll enjoy, but he isn't likely to spend as much on things that you value and want because those are not priorities for him.

As for why he is like this, I do know people with money who have similar attitudes. There are people who have a lot of money, and date or spend time with people with less money He wants to pay for experiences and activities that you will both enjoy and he doesn't want to cut corners or cheap out on the experience. But there are some people who will always want to contribute to theri relationship in whatever way they can, but they can't afford to reciprocate. So, I've known people like your boyfriend who will look for less expensive ways for their less well off friends or companions to contribute, like gas money or tips. It's a way that you can contribute but staying within your budget. He figures he is doing the traveling and you aren't reciprocating by traveling back to visit him but you can contribute for gas money as reciprocation for him always traveling to you. He's taking you out for expensive dinners, but you can't reciprocate by taking him out for an expensive dinner, so you can cover the tip as your contribution to the relationship. He might be cheap, or he may be trying to be awkwardly considerate of your feelings of wanting to contribute and he's looking for ways you can do that within your budget without breaking the bank.

[Anonymous]

Asking for gas money is tacky.

However, he's paid for FOUR MONTHS worth of dates and you haven't contributed anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's probably in tons of debt. Requesting gas cash might just be scratching the surface of his issues

I dated a guy like this for awhile when younge. He was very "traditional" so took me on a few nice dates (I always, always offered to split), brought flowers, etc. But it was all about a self image he needed to have after growing up poor and being in debt. He needed a leased fancy car, a McMansion, the fancy clothes, and a trophy on his arm (I guess me) to feel successful and like a big man but he was in debt up to his eyeballs and broke as a joke. I'd suggest cheaper things, but he would want to "treat his lady to a nice date" at the best restaurant in town. Provided I slipped him 400 dollars under the table so he could pay the bill.

Dump him and don't look back.

[Anonymous]

Not worth the gas money!