Parents in 70s plan trips without consulting adult children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d enjoy every minute of time you get to spend with them.

+1. This.

It might be difficult to hear but it doesn't last forever. Sometimes I get frustrated with my parents - my dad in particular. I will vent to my DH - who lost his father at a very young age. His response is usually, "I know that it's frustrating but focus on the fact that you can still call him and hear his voice. I'd give anything to call my father"

So I'm with PP. It's frustrating. Breathe deeply and roll with it.

Another +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are in their 70s. My dad still works and my mom is retired. They will frequently book plane tickets and plan week long trips to "visit" me and my sister and our children. The issue is, they don't consult with us about their plans. My sister and I live about an hour away from each other and my parents refuse to drive or rent a car. They will Uber and then complain so prefer to stay at my small DC townhouse since I'm close to DCA. Sister is an hour away in the suburbs and they prefer her large home an amenities (golf course, pool, planned community with lots of walkable shopping). My sister and I have asked our parents to not plan trips to "visit" without consulting us, but they don't care. They will get "deals" and then stay for a week or more. They expect us to wait on them hand and foot, drive them all over the DMV and for us not to do anything else separately or see other friends. For example, a friend and his family was in DC this week and we wanted to meet up. My mom acted like this was super rude. We had already made plans for his visit and then my parents booked tickets to fly her without consulting. When we changed plans to have his family over for a game night, my parents went to their room with plates of food and beers and didn't emerge until I dropped them off at the Metro. It was WEIRD. We had to spend three nights at my sister's house. I had only packed for one night, so I had to borrow clothes from my sister and do laundry. When DH and I said we were driving home and would pick them up the following day, they balked and asked to stay, then wanted to come home with us so they would be "close to the airport". I am just over it. Today they got up at 3 am and left the house at 4:30, calling me on my phone to lock the doors rather than using the code to lock the doors or having a flight later. I found out their flight was at 11:30! I live 15 minutes from DCA. What would you do?

Oh hell no! Stop enabling this behavior. They are continuing to do it because your SIL and you keep giving in. They’ve figured out they can get exactly what they want by booking first and then being nasty so you’ll give in. Next time say no. You’re going out of town or you are hosting someone else or just no.