Son wants all-boys birthday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's weird is people's focus on how it needs to be an "all-boy" party. The birthday boy may be calling it that, but what it really is a party with a limited number of spaces that will be filled by the invited guests and not their siblings.

If it's a public place, there's no way to stop the mother and sister from staying, but it's absolutely legitimate to say "Yes, it's a drop-off party and no, sorry, we can't accommodate siblings this time"

Just say it is a drop off party and you can’t accommodate siblings. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one kid, regardless of gender. It sounds like you don’t want to pay for her tbh. My son had an all-boys party and two boys brought their sisters (whom we paid for). Think of it as a kindness to the mom.

You’re dragging OP for not wanting to pay for the girl to play laser tag? Of course she doesn’t, the girl isn’t her kid’s friend and isn’t invited.

But, hey, if you like paying for random kids to do stuff, you can do me a kindness by paying my kid’s hockey fees and while you’re at it, you can drive him to his practices.

Did you read the part where the OP said the child’s father isn’t involved and that is why sister goes along everywhere? Omg you people are ruthless and I hope you are treated with the same cruelty you offer others.

A younger sibling should not be tagging along elementary school parties.

My DH is involved but I have 3 kids. I have never invited a sibling along. I have taken a sibling many times to drop off or pick up.

My son is invited to a laser tag party later this month. I will be out of town. DH will likely take our daughter to drop off son at laser tag. DH will likely take daughter to nearby mall for an hour. We are friendly with family. I am sure they will offer Dh and my daughter pizza and cake. Dh will likely feed daughter at mall.

This is really not that hard.

I once had a laser tag party for my son in first grade. We invited our neighbor. Mom RSVPd for one child. It was a public venue so mom brought older daughter. I want to say she was 10 or 11 at the time. I think the mom had already paid for her separately. I would have been totally fine paying for her. She lives 2 doors from us. The older neighbor ended up having the highest score of the whole thing. Older girl did not join for cake or pizza. I don’t know if she kept playing more laser tag or mom left with her and came back to pick up younger child who was part of our party.

There are ways to bring siblings without being rude.

My kindergarten child was invited to a Chuck E. Cheese party. I took my 7yo too. I asked another friend to join him. Birthday mom said my older child could join the party but I said he is having a play date with a friend. He had his own table with pizza with his friend.

Another church e cheese party I had brought younger kid planning to just pay for him. I didn’t rsvp for younger kid. Parent handed him tokens and he just participated in the party.

Of course a younger child shouldn’t tag along! That’s a given. It is rude. But according to OP, the younger sister always tags along specifically because there is no support from the father. OP knows this about the child and still wants to exclude her based on gender (though it seems more like it is based on cost and headcount). The utter lack of grace in this thread is what is truly horrible, not this woman who has an unsupportive husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one kid, regardless of gender. It sounds like you don’t want to pay for her tbh. My son had an all-boys party and two boys brought their sisters (whom we paid for). Think of it as a kindness to the mom.

You’re dragging OP for not wanting to pay for the girl to play laser tag? Of course she doesn’t, the girl isn’t her kid’s friend and isn’t invited.

But, hey, if you like paying for random kids to do stuff, you can do me a kindness by paying my kid’s hockey fees and while you’re at it, you can drive him to his practices.

Did you read the part where the OP said the child’s father isn’t involved and that is why sister goes along everywhere? Omg you people are ruthless and I hope you are treated with the same cruelty you offer others.

A younger sibling should not be tagging along elementary school parties.

My DH is involved but I have 3 kids. I have never invited a sibling along. I have taken a sibling many times to drop off or pick up.

My son is invited to a laser tag party later this month. I will be out of town. DH will likely take our daughter to drop off son at laser tag. DH will likely take daughter to nearby mall for an hour. We are friendly with family. I am sure they will offer Dh and my daughter pizza and cake. Dh will likely feed daughter at mall.

This is really not that hard.

I once had a laser tag party for my son in first grade. We invited our neighbor. Mom RSVPd for one child. It was a public venue so mom brought older daughter. I want to say she was 10 or 11 at the time. I think the mom had already paid for her separately. I would have been totally fine paying for her. She lives 2 doors from us. The older neighbor ended up having the highest score of the whole thing. Older girl did not join for cake or pizza. I don’t know if she kept playing more laser tag or mom left with her and came back to pick up younger child who was part of our party.

There are ways to bring siblings without being rude.

My kindergarten child was invited to a Chuck E. Cheese party. I took my 7yo too. I asked another friend to join him. Birthday mom said my older child could join the party but I said he is having a play date with a friend. He had his own table with pizza with his friend.

Another church e cheese party I had brought younger kid planning to just pay for him. I didn’t rsvp for younger kid. Parent handed him tokens and he just participated in the party.

Of course a younger child shouldn’t tag along! That’s a given. It is rude. But according to OP, the younger sister always tags along specifically because there is no support from the father. OP knows this about the child and still wants to exclude her based on gender (though it seems more like it is based on cost and headcount). The utter lack of grace in this thread is what is truly horrible, not this woman who has an unsupportive husband.

Including uninvited siblings is rude when it is drop off age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course a younger child shouldn’t tag along! That’s a given. It is rude. But according to OP, the younger sister always tags along specifically because there is no support from the father. OP knows this about the child and still wants to exclude her based on gender (though it seems more like it is based on cost and headcount). The utter lack of grace in this thread is what is truly horrible, not this woman who has an unsupportive husband.

OP wants to exclude not based on gender but because her son has a specific invite list. Regardless of her gender, the younger sibling of his friend is not on his guestlist. At this age, it's a drop-off party. The mom doesn't need to find childcare for the younger sister because she doesn't need to stay to supervise her son. Simple.

[Anonymous]

It’s just not appropriate to bring an uninvited sibling to a party. Period.

I had this happen to me at my DD’s party in kinder. The site allowed 20 and I invited all 24 from her class knowing someone wouldn’t be able to come. I explained this to a mom who asked if her younger DD could come, and she still pressured me endlessly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just not appropriate to bring an uninvited sibling to a party. Period.

I had this happen to me at my DD’s party in kinder. The site allowed 20 and I invited all 24 from her class knowing someone wouldn’t be able to come. I explained this to a mom who asked if her younger DD could come, and she still pressured me endlessly.

Wow, rude. I am having a party for my kindergarten DD and inviting the class. I wonder if people will ask to bring siblings. I’m already at capacity with the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one kid, regardless of gender. It sounds like you don’t want to pay for her tbh. My son had an all-boys party and two boys brought their sisters (whom we paid for). Think of it as a kindness to the mom.

You’re dragging OP for not wanting to pay for the girl to play laser tag? Of course she doesn’t, the girl isn’t her kid’s friend and isn’t invited.

But, hey, if you like paying for random kids to do stuff, you can do me a kindness by paying my kid’s hockey fees and while you’re at it, you can drive him to his practices.

Did you read the part where the OP said the child’s father isn’t involved and that is why sister goes along everywhere? Omg you people are ruthless and I hope you are treated with the same cruelty you offer others.

A younger sibling should not be tagging along elementary school parties.

My DH is involved but I have 3 kids. I have never invited a sibling along. I have taken a sibling many times to drop off or pick up.

My son is invited to a laser tag party later this month. I will be out of town. DH will likely take our daughter to drop off son at laser tag. DH will likely take daughter to nearby mall for an hour. We are friendly with family. I am sure they will offer Dh and my daughter pizza and cake. Dh will likely feed daughter at mall.

This is really not that hard.

I once had a laser tag party for my son in first grade. We invited our neighbor. Mom RSVPd for one child. It was a public venue so mom brought older daughter. I want to say she was 10 or 11 at the time. I think the mom had already paid for her separately. I would have been totally fine paying for her. She lives 2 doors from us. The older neighbor ended up having the highest score of the whole thing. Older girl did not join for cake or pizza. I don’t know if she kept playing more laser tag or mom left with her and came back to pick up younger child who was part of our party.

There are ways to bring siblings without being rude.

My kindergarten child was invited to a Chuck E. Cheese party. I took my 7yo too. I asked another friend to join him. Birthday mom said my older child could join the party but I said he is having a play date with a friend. He had his own table with pizza with his friend.

Another church e cheese party I had brought younger kid planning to just pay for him. I didn’t rsvp for younger kid. Parent handed him tokens and he just participated in the party.

Of course a younger child shouldn’t tag along! That’s a given. It is rude. But according to OP, the younger sister always tags along specifically because there is no support from the father. OP knows this about the child and still wants to exclude her based on gender (though it seems more like it is based on cost and headcount). The utter lack of grace in this thread is what is truly horrible, not this woman who has an unsupportive husband.

My husband wasn't available to watch the kids on weekends when my kids were little, because he worked weekends. Often people knew this and would tell me "bring his brother!" when there was a party. I was very grateful for that.

But that ends when kids are old enough to drop off. Mom can find some local Starbucks or other venue and have some precious 1:1 time with the little girl.

Having said that, the polite thing to do is to say "I'm afraid we don't have space for extra kids, so we can't accommodate siblings." Not "eww yuck, no girls allowed!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one kid, regardless of gender. It sounds like you don’t want to pay for her tbh. My son had an all-boys party and two boys brought their sisters (whom we paid for). Think of it as a kindness to the mom.

You’re dragging OP for not wanting to pay for the girl to play laser tag? Of course she doesn’t, the girl isn’t her kid’s friend and isn’t invited.

But, hey, if you like paying for random kids to do stuff, you can do me a kindness by paying my kid’s hockey fees and while you’re at it, you can drive him to his practices.

Did you read the part where the OP said the child’s father isn’t involved and that is why sister goes along everywhere? Omg you people are ruthless and I hope you are treated with the same cruelty you offer others.

A younger sibling should not be tagging along elementary school parties.

My DH is involved but I have 3 kids. I have never invited a sibling along. I have taken a sibling many times to drop off or pick up.

My son is invited to a laser tag party later this month. I will be out of town. DH will likely take our daughter to drop off son at laser tag. DH will likely take daughter to nearby mall for an hour. We are friendly with family. I am sure they will offer Dh and my daughter pizza and cake. Dh will likely feed daughter at mall.

This is really not that hard.

I once had a laser tag party for my son in first grade. We invited our neighbor. Mom RSVPd for one child. It was a public venue so mom brought older daughter. I want to say she was 10 or 11 at the time. I think the mom had already paid for her separately. I would have been totally fine paying for her. She lives 2 doors from us. The older neighbor ended up having the highest score of the whole thing. Older girl did not join for cake or pizza. I don’t know if she kept playing more laser tag or mom left with her and came back to pick up younger child who was part of our party.

There are ways to bring siblings without being rude.

My kindergarten child was invited to a Chuck E. Cheese party. I took my 7yo too. I asked another friend to join him. Birthday mom said my older child could join the party but I said he is having a play date with a friend. He had his own table with pizza with his friend.

Another church e cheese party I had brought younger kid planning to just pay for him. I didn’t rsvp for younger kid. Parent handed him tokens and he just participated in the party.

Of course a younger child shouldn’t tag along! That’s a given. It is rude. But according to OP, the younger sister always tags along specifically because there is no support from the father. OP knows this about the child and still wants to exclude her based on gender (though it seems more like it is based on cost and headcount). The utter lack of grace in this thread is what is truly horrible, not this woman who has an unsupportive husband.

My husband wasn't available to watch the kids on weekends when my kids were little, because he worked weekends. Often people knew this and would tell me "bring his brother!" when there was a party. I was very grateful for that.

But that ends when kids are old enough to drop off. Mom can find some local Starbucks or other venue and have some precious 1:1 time with the little girl.

Having said that, the polite thing to do is to say "I'm afraid we don't have space for extra kids, so we can't accommodate siblings." Not "eww yuck, no girls allowed!"

Or how about "5th graders only!" so that the 2nd grader doesn't crash with mom. But really "no siblings" words just as well. 2nd graders don't belong at a 5th grade party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one kid, regardless of gender. It sounds like you don’t want to pay for her tbh. My son had an all-boys party and two boys brought their sisters (whom we paid for). Think of it as a kindness to the mom.

You’re dragging OP for not wanting to pay for the girl to play laser tag? Of course she doesn’t, the girl isn’t her kid’s friend and isn’t invited.

But, hey, if you like paying for random kids to do stuff, you can do me a kindness by paying my kid’s hockey fees and while you’re at it, you can drive him to his practices.

Did you read the part where the OP said the child’s father isn’t involved and that is why sister goes along everywhere? Omg you people are ruthless and I hope you are treated with the same cruelty you offer others.

A younger sibling should not be tagging along elementary school parties.

My DH is involved but I have 3 kids. I have never invited a sibling along. I have taken a sibling many times to drop off or pick up.

My son is invited to a laser tag party later this month. I will be out of town. DH will likely take our daughter to drop off son at laser tag. DH will likely take daughter to nearby mall for an hour. We are friendly with family. I am sure they will offer Dh and my daughter pizza and cake. Dh will likely feed daughter at mall.

This is really not that hard.

I once had a laser tag party for my son in first grade. We invited our neighbor. Mom RSVPd for one child. It was a public venue so mom brought older daughter. I want to say she was 10 or 11 at the time. I think the mom had already paid for her separately. I would have been totally fine paying for her. She lives 2 doors from us. The older neighbor ended up having the highest score of the whole thing. Older girl did not join for cake or pizza. I don’t know if she kept playing more laser tag or mom left with her and came back to pick up younger child who was part of our party.

There are ways to bring siblings without being rude.

My kindergarten child was invited to a Chuck E. Cheese party. I took my 7yo too. I asked another friend to join him. Birthday mom said my older child could join the party but I said he is having a play date with a friend. He had his own table with pizza with his friend.

Another church e cheese party I had brought younger kid planning to just pay for him. I didn’t rsvp for younger kid. Parent handed him tokens and he just participated in the party.

Of course a younger child shouldn’t tag along! That’s a given. It is rude. But according to OP, the younger sister always tags along specifically because there is no support from the father. OP knows this about the child and still wants to exclude her based on gender (though it seems more like it is based on cost and headcount). The utter lack of grace in this thread is what is truly horrible, not this woman who has an unsupportive husband.

My husband wasn't available to watch the kids on weekends when my kids were little, because he worked weekends. Often people knew this and would tell me "bring his brother!" when there was a party. I was very grateful for that.

But that ends when kids are old enough to drop off. Mom can find some local Starbucks or other venue and have some precious 1:1 time with the little girl.

Having said that, the polite thing to do is to say "I'm afraid we don't have space for extra kids, so we can't accommodate siblings." Not "eww yuck, no girls allowed!"

When my kids were in preschool and my husband was deployed, parents often included my younger kid and I also appreciated that.

All that ends in elementary. Unless it is a close personal family friend, I don’t include siblings.

My 11yo son has a good friend with a younger brother. He is the only friend whose mom asks if younger brother can come to play dates. I invite him over the least. I have seen her drop off both boys at mutual friends’ homes. Sometimes she doesn’t even ask. I will be on group text and she tells other mom that she dropped off both boys and she hopes it is ok.

[Anonymous]

What most of you are missing is to view this through the lens of gender equity.

The sister is being excluded solely on the basis of her gender!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one kid, regardless of gender. It sounds like you don’t want to pay for her tbh. My son had an all-boys party and two boys brought their sisters (whom we paid for). Think of it as a kindness to the mom.

You’re dragging OP for not wanting to pay for the girl to play laser tag? Of course she doesn’t, the girl isn’t her kid’s friend and isn’t invited.

But, hey, if you like paying for random kids to do stuff, you can do me a kindness by paying my kid’s hockey fees and while you’re at it, you can drive him to his practices.

Did you read the part where the OP said the child’s father isn’t involved and that is why sister goes along everywhere? Omg you people are ruthless and I hope you are treated with the same cruelty you offer others.

The kid’s mom can’t drop him off and leave with the sister because why again? Because the dad sucks? The dad sucks so the OP needs to pay?

The sucky dad is a red herring, it doesn’t prevent the mom from just dropping the kid off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one kid, regardless of gender. It sounds like you don’t want to pay for her tbh. My son had an all-boys party and two boys brought their sisters (whom we paid for). Think of it as a kindness to the mom.

You’re dragging OP for not wanting to pay for the girl to play laser tag? Of course she doesn’t, the girl isn’t her kid’s friend and isn’t invited.

But, hey, if you like paying for random kids to do stuff, you can do me a kindness by paying my kid’s hockey fees and while you’re at it, you can drive him to his practices.

Did you read the part where the OP said the child’s father isn’t involved and that is why sister goes along everywhere? Omg you people are ruthless and I hope you are treated with the same cruelty you offer others.

The kid’s mom can’t drop him off and leave with the sister because why again? Because the dad sucks? The dad sucks so the OP needs to pay?

The sucky dad is a red herring, it doesn’t prevent the mom from just dropping the kid off.

What does the dad have to do with dropping off a kid at an elementary aged birthday party ?

During the younger years, bringing a sibling is more acceptable since parent has to stay. After age 7, the parent no longer has to stay.

OP should not mention boys. Just say no siblings. It isn’t that hard.

I had a laser tag party for my 2nd grader. My other son was in the same class as a sibling. Mom RSVP’d for 3 kids - invited boy plus twin boy siblings who my younger son is friends with. I texted the mom and told her that I could not accommodate siblings. I followed up that we should get all the boys together for a play date soon. Mom dropped off the older incited boy to the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one kid, regardless of gender. It sounds like you don’t want to pay for her tbh. My son had an all-boys party and two boys brought their sisters (whom we paid for). Think of it as a kindness to the mom.

You’re dragging OP for not wanting to pay for the girl to play laser tag? Of course she doesn’t, the girl isn’t her kid’s friend and isn’t invited.

But, hey, if you like paying for random kids to do stuff, you can do me a kindness by paying my kid’s hockey fees and while you’re at it, you can drive him to his practices.

Did you read the part where the OP said the child’s father isn’t involved and that is why sister goes along everywhere? Omg you people are ruthless and I hope you are treated with the same cruelty you offer others.

The kid’s mom can’t drop him off and leave with the sister because why again? Because the dad sucks? The dad sucks so the OP needs to pay?

The sucky dad is a red herring, it doesn’t prevent the mom from just dropping the kid off.

What does the dad have to do with dropping off a kid at an elementary aged birthday party ?

During the younger years, bringing a sibling is more acceptable since parent has to stay. After age 7, the parent no longer has to stay.

OP should not mention boys. Just say no siblings. It isn’t that hard.

I had a laser tag party for my 2nd grader. My other son was in the same class as a sibling. Mom RSVP’d for 3 kids - invited boy plus twin boy siblings who my younger son is friends with. I texted the mom and told her that I could not accommodate siblings. I followed up that we should get all the boys together for a play date soon. Mom dropped off the older incited boy to the party.

Sorry to be a stickler; I believe you meant to type “invited” as opposed to incited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What most of you are missing is to view this through the lens of gender equity.

The sister is being excluded solely on the basis of her gender!

You’re missing that no other 2nd graders are invited. Why does OPs 5th grade son hate 2nd graders!! This should not be tolerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's weird is people's focus on how it needs to be an "all-boy" party. The birthday boy may be calling it that, but what it really is a party with a limited number of spaces that will be filled by the invited guests and not their siblings.

If it's a public place, there's no way to stop the mother and sister from staying, but it's absolutely legitimate to say "Yes, it's a drop-off party and no, sorry, we can't accommodate siblings this time"

+1