Maureen Dowd column on Landon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this really that ridiculous? They're 14 and 15 year old boys.. they're supposed to be brash and hormonal.

My 14 year old son is brash and hormonal and he would NEVER do something like this. Anyone caught doing something like this would be expelled from his school.

[Anonymous]

I see the Landon boosters are out in force now.

I am not sure how you can take Ms. Dowd to task. She cites direct quotes from students and parents who were involved in the situation. Unless you are alleging a Janet Cooke scenario, your blame is misguided.

The larger issue is not that boys rank girls and want to score with them. The larger issue is that THIS COHORT of boys was allegedly involved in a game where they were going to manipulate girls into believe they cared about them so they could score points in a fantasy sex game with their friends

Clearly as a Landon booster, you do not find this activity objectionable, which of course is part of the problem. The posts by the Landon supporters, just like in the UVa tragedy do nothing but solidify the negative issues associated with the culture of the school and community (faculty and parents included).

Sorry you are not liking what you are reading, but sometimes the truth hurts, and opening eyes to what the real issues may help others down the road.

Anonymous wrote:First off, if any of you actually take Maureen Dowd seriously, then go walk into oncoming traffic and make the world a better place.

Moreover, Dowd's entire article is completely unsubstantiated. There is no factual base whatsoever. Knowing who we're dealing with, I wouldn't be surprised if this entire article was based off pure hearsay.

The larger issue is not that some boys at a private school in Bethesda may have talked amongst themselves and ranked girls by physical appearance, but that this happens everywhere throughout our culture. To go and blame Landon about this is pretty short sighted. Have you ever seen any movie with Dave Chapelle or Chris Rock? How about girl movies like "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?"

Even if this alleged behavior was true, it would only make these Landon kids just like every other teenage boy in America. Don't hate the player and not the game.

Moreover, the amount of media attention Landon has drawn is completely absurd. Landon is an all boys school, which makes it a target. Last time I checked, George Huguely has spent the last four years of his life at UVA, a school that for decades has been stalwart of racism, sexism, and drunken, boorish behavior. The fact that Yeardley Love was not even the only girl murdered at UVA this year says something. What about the rape and sexual assault.

In conclusion, Maureen Dowd's piece is nothing by hate mongering. It is completely baseless, and the behavior she is criticizing is rampant in every aspect of our culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to say this but I think there is a culture among some of the adult Dads that implicitly condones this kind of attitude towards women b/c deep down, the Dads feel this is ok and may even behave this way themselves, when they are not w/ women. Perhaps the boys pick up on this or perhaps even witness or overhear their Dads. Porn is also to blame, IMO. Porn pretty much does nothing BUT objectify women and boys have pretty much unfettered access to unlimited amounts of porn. I'm dating myself, but my generation had to pass around the Hustler and Playboys or a VHS tape...usually not so hard core. The internet offers much more and no limits. I'm no prude but porn is much more of a danger to society than most people want to admit.

News flash: Your teenage boys only have access to internet porn if you give it to them. Put filters on your computers, and a password on the only computer he's allowed to use, which is in the kitchen or the family room or somewhere else where you can see him when he's using it. Do NOT give him an IPhone or an ITouch or any other handheld device that can access the internet, or if you do, disable the internet. Block all offensive TV channels on your television, and do not have youtube on your big screen. I agree completely with the poster that our culture is so sex-saturated that it is rather duplicitous to blame boys for doing what our culture promotes at every turn. My kids think I don't "trust" them, but I tell them, I wouldn't leave pornography lying around the house, so why would I leave it a click away?

This is not how to raise teens. They are smarter and more technologically savvier than all of us on our best days. Boundary setting, clear consequences, and ROLE MODELING are the most powerful forces. And if you have been a shitty, lax, overly punitive parent by the time they are 13, well, say your prayers, b/c it is an uphill battle. Trust, logic, sense, compassion, morals are culitvated in the earliest years and only repeated as they get older with more sophisticated examples. You need to be on the same team with your teen, not their adversary. Your influence over them is nebulous at best, so it is in your best interest to not battle with them.

Landon is not alone is their mess. They are not the only ones that have entitled brats that objectify girls. But there has been a heluva lotta smoke, you gotta start looking for the fire. And I perplexed why any parent with two brain cells would want Landon on their son's transcript. Like colleges all over the US do not have Landon on the "Do NOT accept list"

[Anonymous]

The board is composed of Alums. They do not see a problem, I assure you. AIMS needs to get involved.

[Anonymous]

If you need to ask that question...you might want to look in the mirror. This is beyond brashness and hormones.

Anonymous wrote:Is this really that ridiculous? They're 14 and 15 year old boys.. they're supposed to be brash and hormonal.

[Anonymous]

Brash and hormonal, yes. Sexist, manipulative, calculating, disrespectful and conspiratorial, among other things, NO.

[Anonymous]

Amen.

Anonymous wrote:The Landon board needs to stop viewing these horrific crimes as isolated incidents and honestly admit that there is a pattern here. Then the school needs to do a complete evaluation of the school and make dramatic changes. I actually think the schools accrediting organization (AIMS) should demand this at the next review. They are breeding monsters on that campus. I would never send a son there, and I'll keep my daughters a safe distance from any Landon suitors.

[Anonymous]

``First off, if any of you actually take Maureen Dowd seriously, then go walk into oncoming traffic and make the world a better place.''

If I didn't think some Landon parents were intolerant hateful people, I have now been handed proof. Time and time again, posters who defend Landon come off as mean-spirited and venomous. Just like the poster who attacks Sidwell and GDS grads, claiming they have crappy jobs and take five years to finish college. If you can't defend the actions of you children, please don't try to drag us all down with you. Just keep your ugly suggestions that liberals should all commit suicide to yourself or move to Iran or North Korea where your ideas about women and intellectual freedom are more fashionable.

[Anonymous]

And, here's some more about this:
A couple of these boys are lacrosse players. In fact, sports are about all they do. Other than cause problems for their class and grade. One of the boys had his stomach pumped in 8th grade--too much booze.He has caused problem after problem within the grade. A couple of the boys have either alum parents or siblings at the school. All of their mothers take large leadership rolls with the Greens and Azalea Festival. The administration won't touch them.

[Anonymous]

Not sure where the poster mentioned North Korea or Iran or even liberals. The point the poster was trying to get across is that as a culture today, both boys an girls are exposed to lots of media that shows this type of behavior and many times in a comedic form. Boys and girls are desensitized to what is right and wrong with regards as to how they act towards each other. Boys and girls will make mistakes and as parents we need to help them understand their behavior and how they should act towards each other.

[Anonymous]

You can throw rocks at cars, cheat on SATs, humiliate girls, punch out team mates and nothing happens. Aside from the dress code, are any rules enforced at that school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a Landon parent, and at first I thought this was pretty awful. But perhaps we mothers are naive in believing that it is not entirely normal for boys this age to objectify girls and want to boast about "scoring" to their friends. I have a feeling that has gone on since time immemorial, and always will, whether we like it or not. What was particularly offensive here, perhaps, was the coordinated nature of the conduct, which gives it the aura of gang rape. Maybe some dads could chime in on this conversation?

As for how to teach your boys -- mine are on the cusp of puberty, and all the Catholic bashers on this forum will hate to hear it, but the Church and Catholic schools in our experience so far have done a great job of teaching the boys to revere Mary, to respect their own mothers and the special sacrifices we make, and to treat girls as they would want their own sisters to be treated, if they have them. If you aren't prepared to teach your children that their sexuality is sacred, then I think it's a lot harder to argue that it's not just another pleasurable form of recreation. That's how I viewed it before I converted, and I am glad my own kids will have the rudder that I lacked at their age.

There are decent teens at all schools. There are manipulative pigs at all schools. Male and female. All religions. get some teen to let you browse facebook--then post.

[Anonymous]

Yes, there are decent boys at Landon. But the place is really
dominated by jocks and bad behavior. Lots of the good kids are either leaving or trying to get out if they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And, here's some more about this:
A couple of these boys are lacrosse players. In fact, sports are about all they do. Other than cause problems for their class and grade. One of the boys had his stomach pumped in 8th grade--too much booze.He has caused problem after problem within the grade. A couple of the boys have either alum parents or siblings at the school. All of their mothers take large leadership rolls with the Greens and Azalea Festival. The administration won't touch them.

There is a group of crappy bros at STA. Maybe they can transfer.

[Anonymous]

another swipe at STA.

wait maybe it is the prep booster!