Mom is upset we no longer want to use her middle name for our daughter

[Anonymous]

This sounds like friends of ours who wanted to use the name of one of their parents as their unborn kid's middle name. They decided to tell the other spouse's parents too, thinking they would appreciate being told ahead of time. Instead, they ended up having to give the kid two middle names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I totally acknowledge that it must be disappointing for my mom to learn that we are considering changing my daughter’s middle name after we already picked it. I’m also aware that we shouldn’t have announced her name until after her birth. This is our first baby and we have definitely learned our lesson! I always wondered why people waited— now I understand.

I just feel like my mom hasn’t been deserving. We have a very complicated relationship and it was probably (definitely) a mistake to tell her we were using her name. She has just been terrible throughout my pregnancy. She is a narcissist and my therapist suggested that perhaps she’s afraid of losing some control or power.

But it’s not her name—it is the maternal family middle name. It was your great-grandmother’s middle name first. I think it’s a lovely tradition that was not done in my family, but I have observed in my friends’ families.

Op here. Thank you for this perspective. I think we are going to keep the name after all. We won’t be announcing until after her birth though!

Good decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have to name her Maria if you don’t want to.

Ha, that was my first thought too.

I thought Mary.

Me too

[Anonymous]

DH and I decided that our kids had to be named a name that we knew no one previously. No family names. Helped tremendously.