Why do people think introversion is an excuse to be rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hosted my daughter’s 13 year old friend for a sleepover. I took them shopping and paid for everything. There was not one thank you or acknowledgement - to me or to my daughter. The girl is really silent, boring, and rude.

What an odd thing to do. Do you know this child well enough to buy things for her?

DS has a friend who would do this. He isn't an introvert. He has a true anxiety disorder. Diagnosed by a psychiatrist. It took probably a year before he was comfortable enough to talk to us. I don't know how long it took him to say "good morning" back to a teacher. He probably never did with some. Every morning was a new hell for him. So maybe those coworkers who don't respond aren't simply rude. Some are. I worked with someone who wouldn't interact with part-timers.

I think introvert is too widely used. I also think OP is using a very wide brush here. There have been a lot of things I didn't participate in. I had no self confidence. There are still things I decline. That in itself isn't rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you find it rude that people simply don’t want to participate in things that you do want to participate in speaks volumes.

An invitation is not a summons. If someone doesn’t want to do something, it doesn’t matter if they decline because they have a conflict, or because they don’t want to, or because they are ill, or because they simply get burned out and don’t have the energy. Declining an invitation or declining to participate in something is not “rude.” It’s a personal choice. You do you. Have fun. Leave people who don’t want to participate alone. The end.

PP here. I understand the invitation thing. So don't go, no one cares. No one will miss your sparkling owner of many cats personality.

It is the not being civilized that is odd. If a coworker says good morning, you are supposed to say it back. Be human, not a robot.

What's wrong with many cats? I'm an extrovert with many cats. My cats however, are definitely introverts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a big company holiday party last night. I didn’t go but didn’t decline because I’m an introvert. I RSVP’d no without any comments because I didn’t want to go. Most of my colleagues weren’t going for a variety of reasons, but overall because they had other things they would rather be doing. No one gave being an introvert as a reason.

I could see OP being one of the people who loves the work social events and thinking all of us are rude introverts.

Or, one of the people who thinks it's rude if people don't get validation from running through a "cheer line" of clapping managers at a mandatory work "appreciation" event or if people don't want to dress up for Halloween and trick-or-treat at each other's cubes.

I don't know what a cheer line is, but if you office or your neighbors or your school etc makes an effort to encourage connectedness and community, it's rude to always decline. I am an extrovert and I hate that stuff. But I show up. As a manager, I turn on my camera, participate, and have a good attitude because if one of my team members took the time to plan a holiday activity, I show up for it and I participate and contribute. The problem with many introverted people is that they like community, they like good dinner conversation, they like environments where people get along, but they don't invest any of their energy - it's like we are all there to entertain them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a big company holiday party last night. I didn’t go but didn’t decline because I’m an introvert. I RSVP’d no without any comments because I didn’t want to go. Most of my colleagues weren’t going for a variety of reasons, but overall because they had other things they would rather be doing. No one gave being an introvert as a reason.

I could see OP being one of the people who loves the work social events and thinking all of us are rude introverts.

Or, one of the people who thinks it's rude if people don't get validation from running through a "cheer line" of clapping managers at a mandatory work "appreciation" event or if people don't want to dress up for Halloween and trick-or-treat at each other's cubes.

I don't know what a cheer line is, but if you office or your neighbors or your school etc makes an effort to encourage connectedness and community, it's rude to always decline. I am an extrovert and I hate that stuff. But I show up. As a manager, I turn on my camera, participate, and have a good attitude because if one of my team members took the time to plan a holiday activity, I show up for it and I participate and contribute. The problem with many introverted people is that they like community, they like good dinner conversation, they like environments where people get along, but they don't invest any of their energy - it's like we are all there to entertain them.

Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a big company holiday party last night. I didn’t go but didn’t decline because I’m an introvert. I RSVP’d no without any comments because I didn’t want to go. Most of my colleagues weren’t going for a variety of reasons, but overall because they had other things they would rather be doing. No one gave being an introvert as a reason.

I could see OP being one of the people who loves the work social events and thinking all of us are rude introverts.

Or, one of the people who thinks it's rude if people don't get validation from running through a "cheer line" of clapping managers at a mandatory work "appreciation" event or if people don't want to dress up for Halloween and trick-or-treat at each other's cubes.

I don't know what a cheer line is, but if you office or your neighbors or your school etc makes an effort to encourage connectedness and community, it's rude to always decline. I am an extrovert and I hate that stuff. But I show up. As a manager, I turn on my camera, participate, and have a good attitude because if one of my team members took the time to plan a holiday activity, I show up for it and I participate and contribute. The problem with many introverted people is that they like community, they like good dinner conversation, they like environments where people get along, but they don't invest any of their energy - it's like we are all there to entertain them.

That description makes zero sense. If introverts usually avoid social situations that are not forced on them then why would you think they want to be entertained by you? They want to be left alone.