Why do people think introversion is an excuse to be rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand that American culture was built by and for extroverts, and that it can be exhausting. However, I’m a little annoyed when I see people point to their introversion as a reason to not participate, not be polite or even not to interact. It seems more like an excuse to act like a jerk than a legitimate characteristic, in some scenarios.

Agree OP. Skipping social work obligations is one thing, but not saying hello or good morning or acknowledging your coworkers is just plain RUDE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that American culture was built by and for extroverts, and that it can be exhausting. However, I’m a little annoyed when I see people point to their introversion as a reason to not participate, not be polite or even not to interact. It seems more like an excuse to act like a jerk than a legitimate characteristic, in some scenarios.

Agree OP. Skipping social work obligations is one thing, but not saying hello or good morning or acknowledging your coworkers is just plain RUDE.

And not a sign of introversion so let’s not act like it is. That’s all it is- rudeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that American culture was built by and for extroverts, and that it can be exhausting. However, I’m a little annoyed when I see people point to their introversion as a reason to not participate, not be polite or even not to interact. It seems more like an excuse to act like a jerk than a legitimate characteristic, in some scenarios.

Agree OP. Skipping social work obligations is one thing, but not saying hello or good morning or acknowledging your coworkers is just plain RUDE.

And not a sign of introversion so let’s not act like it is. That’s all it is- rudeness.

It has a strong "I think I'm better than you so I am not going to lower myself to acknowledge you" vibe.

Rude.

[Anonymous]

What is the exact example that promoted you to post, Op? I agree with other posters that some introverts are rude and some are polite and same for extroverts.

[Anonymous]

Is this a post that really says, "my DIL excuses herself to the bedroom after a long day staying with us and says that as an introvert she needs some downtime"?

[Anonymous]

As an introvert with ADD I can honestly say I’m okay with others not appreciating my choice to opt out of pretty much all performative personal and work related social interactions.

The pandemic with its new WFH protocols and resultant reduction in time suck social interactions has paid off in significant ways. Reviews, Bonuses and salary increases have never been better.

Lifting the need to perform the “happy seal” dance on a daily basis has been a blessing .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a post that really says, "my DIL excuses herself to the bedroom after a long day staying with us and says that as an introvert she needs some downtime"?

Yes, it is suspicious OP has not been back with an example. I'm sure we can all think of behaviors that are rude. It's like OP wants us to just imagine that's what happened so they are validated.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you find it rude that people simply don’t want to participate in things that you do want to participate in speaks volumes.

An invitation is not a summons. If someone doesn’t want to do something, it doesn’t matter if they decline because they have a conflict, or because they don’t want to, or because they are ill, or because they simply get burned out and don’t have the energy. Declining an invitation or declining to participate in something is not “rude.” It’s a personal choice. You do you. Have fun. Leave people who don’t want to participate alone. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you find it rude that people simply don’t want to participate in things that you do want to participate in speaks volumes.

An invitation is not a summons. If someone doesn’t want to do something, it doesn’t matter if they decline because they have a conflict, or because they don’t want to, or because they are ill, or because they simply get burned out and don’t have the energy. Declining an invitation or declining to participate in something is not “rude.” It’s a personal choice. You do you. Have fun. Leave people who don’t want to participate alone. The end.

PP here. I understand the invitation thing. So don't go, no one cares. No one will miss your sparkling owner of many cats personality.

It is the not being civilized that is odd. If a coworker says good morning, you are supposed to say it back. Be human, not a robot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that American culture was built by and for extroverts, and that it can be exhausting. However, I’m a little annoyed when I see people point to their introversion as a reason to not participate, not be polite or even not to interact. It seems more like an excuse to act like a jerk than a legitimate characteristic, in some scenarios.

Agree OP. Skipping social work obligations is one thing, but not saying hello or good morning or acknowledging your coworkers is just plain RUDE.

And not a sign of introversion so let’s not act like it is. That’s all it is- rudeness.

It has a strong "I think I'm better than you so I am not going to lower myself to acknowledge you" vibe.

Rude.

Indeed. But what you describe has nothing to do with introversion. It is possible that it is social anxiety making the person behave rudely, but it’s still rude, and with with social anxiety may be introverted or extroverted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you find it rude that people simply don’t want to participate in things that you do want to participate in speaks volumes.

An invitation is not a summons. If someone doesn’t want to do something, it doesn’t matter if they decline because they have a conflict, or because they don’t want to, or because they are ill, or because they simply get burned out and don’t have the energy. Declining an invitation or declining to participate in something is not “rude.” It’s a personal choice. You do you. Have fun. Leave people who don’t want to participate alone. The end.

PP here. I understand the invitation thing. So don't go, no one cares. No one will miss your sparkling owner of many cats personality.

It is the not being civilized that is odd. If a coworker says good morning, you are supposed to say it back. Be human, not a robot.

So your idea of “being civilized” is to unilaterally paint everyone who declines an invitation sarcastically as a “sparkling owner of many cats personality.” This is how you model being civil? This is your way of showing people how to be kind?

[Anonymous]

We hosted my daughter’s 13 year old friend for a sleepover. I took them shopping and paid for everything. There was not one thank you or acknowledgement - to me or to my daughter. The girl is really silent, boring, and rude.

[Anonymous]

Some of you have a really odd way of looking at the world. If I say good morning or offer a greeting to someone (which I do regularly, even as an introvert—imagine that), if they do not respond or basically sneer at me, I don’t think: “Wow, he’s an introvert.” I think (if it happens once), “Oh, he must be having a bad day or in the middle of something stressful.” If it happens several time, I think, “Wow, he’s a rude person or a total snob.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that American culture was built by and for extroverts, and that it can be exhausting. However, I’m a little annoyed when I see people point to their introversion as a reason to not participate, not be polite or even not to interact. It seems more like an excuse to act like a jerk than a legitimate characteristic, in some scenarios.

Agree OP. Skipping social work obligations is one thing, but not saying hello or good morning or acknowledging your coworkers is just plain RUDE.

And not a sign of introversion so let’s not act like it is. That’s all it is- rudeness.

+1

I’m an introvert. It takes nothing out of me to say good morning, good evening, hello, good night, or in general to be polite.

[Anonymous]

Being an introvert doesn’t mean being anti-social or rude. I enjoy socializing, I just don’t seek to be the center of attention and I enjoy smaller gatherings more than large groups. I dislike small talk and polite chitchat with strangers or mere acquaintances.