Why do people think introversion is an excuse to be rude?

[Anonymous]

I understand that American culture was built by and for extroverts, and that it can be exhausting. However, I’m a little annoyed when I see people point to their introversion as a reason to not participate, not be polite or even not to interact. It seems more like an excuse to act like a jerk than a legitimate characteristic, in some scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand that American culture was built by and for extroverts, and that it can be exhausting. However, I’m a little annoyed when I see people point to their introversion as a reason to not participate, not be polite or even not to interact. It seems more like an excuse to act like a jerk than a legitimate characteristic, in some scenarios.

Sometimes introverts are rude. Sometimes extroverts are rude. Neither has a monopoly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that American culture was built by and for extroverts, and that it can be exhausting. However, I’m a little annoyed when I see people point to their introversion as a reason to not participate, not be polite or even not to interact. It seems more like an excuse to act like a jerk than a legitimate characteristic, in some scenarios.

Sometimes introverts are rude. Sometimes extroverts are rude. Neither has a monopoly.

This.

There's no correlation between introversion and rudeness, any more than there's a correlation between extroversion and rudeness. Some people are just rude, period.

[Anonymous]

It is rude to not respond to greetings, or to say snide things, to complain about how other people celebrate the holidays. It isn’t rude to decline party invitations, not participate in the cookie exchange, or leave a party early after giving all the energy they have to give. What exactly are you experiencing, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that American culture was built by and for extroverts, and that it can be exhausting. However, I’m a little annoyed when I see people point to their introversion as a reason to not participate, not be polite or even not to interact. It seems more like an excuse to act like a jerk than a legitimate characteristic, in some scenarios.

Sometimes introverts are rude. Sometimes extroverts are rude. Neither has a monopoly.

This.

There's no correlation between introversion and rudeness, any more than there's a correlation between extroversion and rudeness. Some people are just rude, period.

Also some people are so threatened by others setting physical or emotional boundaries that they have to label the boundary-setters as introverts rather than see their own rudeness in invasive actions and words. But the people who respond to the oversteppers with the excuse they are introverts are not doing anyone any favors. I fought cancer and turned 50 resulting in my giving zero Fs about protecting the feelings of people who are intrusive on my physical space or emotions. If you host a command performance I can’t decline and the central activities are oversharing and gossiping, I won’t participate.

[Anonymous]

Most over used words on DCUM: Introvert, anxiety, and divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most over used words on DCUM: Introvert, anxiety, and divorce.

Agree this is overused and poorly understood. Rudeness, social awkwardness, shyness, etc. does not equal introvert.

I'm an introvert and I'd sooner cut off my foot than be rude. I overthink interactions with people. OMG did I offend them? Did I overshare? OMG was that stupid?

I mean not all the time but I have those tendencies.

I get energy from being alone and that's how I recharge, that is what makes me an introvert. I actually am okay with small talk and pretty good at it. I still enjoy being social and I'm successful in my career. But I don't like being super social all the time, and I prefer a small group where we have deeper conversations vs. mingling at a party.

[Anonymous]

Dh is introverted and he’s the most polite person you’ll meet. He holds very nice conversations with old ladies at the grocery store and neighbors. The thing is that they aren’t deep conversations. He likes being alone and gets his energy from being alone.

I’m an extrovert and I can’t stand talking to randoms and having to be nice. I have a large group of friends and prefer them. Talking about the weather or trivial things drives me crazy. I do the bare minimum to not be considered rude.

[Anonymous]

This comes up so often on this board. This exact question. What I don’t understand is people like OP who feel the need to display their ignorance and perpetuate false stereotypes on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

We had a big company holiday party last night. I didn’t go but didn’t decline because I’m an introvert. I RSVP’d no without any comments because I didn’t want to go. Most of my colleagues weren’t going for a variety of reasons, but overall because they had other things they would rather be doing. No one gave being an introvert as a reason.

I could see OP being one of the people who loves the work social events and thinking all of us are rude introverts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a big company holiday party last night. I didn’t go but didn’t decline because I’m an introvert. I RSVP’d no without any comments because I didn’t want to go. Most of my colleagues weren’t going for a variety of reasons, but overall because they had other things they would rather be doing. No one gave being an introvert as a reason.

I could see OP being one of the people who loves the work social events and thinking all of us are rude introverts.

Or, one of the people who thinks it's rude if people don't get validation from running through a "cheer line" of clapping managers at a mandatory work "appreciation" event or if people don't want to dress up for Halloween and trick-or-treat at each other's cubes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is rude to not respond to greetings, or to say snide things, to complain about how other people celebrate the holidays. It isn’t rude to decline party invitations, not participate in the cookie exchange, or leave a party early after giving all the energy they have to give. What exactly are you experiencing, OP?

this. I’m an introvert not I’m still social. People just know that 3 hours is generally my max for any type of event though.

[Anonymous]

Maybe saying they are an introvert is their polite way of declining to participate in something they don’t want to do. Maybe the real reason is they don’t like you, they think the event you planned is boring or lame, or they have something better to do. But they’ll beg off with “oh I’m too introverted for these big office parties, but you all have fun!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a big company holiday party last night. I didn’t go but didn’t decline because I’m an introvert. I RSVP’d no without any comments because I didn’t want to go. Most of my colleagues weren’t going for a variety of reasons, but overall because they had other things they would rather be doing. No one gave being an introvert as a reason.

I could see OP being one of the people who loves the work social events and thinking all of us are rude introverts.

Or, one of the people who thinks it's rude if people don't get validation from running through a "cheer line" of clapping managers at a mandatory work "appreciation" event or if people don't want to dress up for Halloween and trick-or-treat at each other's cubes.

Those sound awful. Our particular one was ugly sweater themed and I just couldn’t spend an evening at work “celebrating” with all of that.

[Anonymous]

We're going to need some specific examples, OP.