Inconsiderate visiting family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Won’t one of you have to stay up anyway to let them in?

In my years on DCUM, I’ve found this to be a big cultural difference. Where I grew up, people ALWAYS got rides from the airport. I don’t even remember there being a taxi stand at our local airport. But there is obviously a big contingent on DCUM that finds this to be a beyond the pale request, and I also know many DC natives who share that view.

Multi-genDC native.
We not only pick family up from the airports (even ugh IAD) but it's often assumed.
What time is your flight? Are you checking bag? Text me when you land and I’ll head out…
It’s a small way we let family know they are valued.

Huh, we do that too but I do expect to be consulted on the flight time. What if you are at work or something?

This. We do flight pickups but our family always checks with us before booking and offers to take an Uber if necessary.

[Anonymous]

We also try to pick friends and family at the airport or train station whenever possible.
If we are working and can’t get away, then we ask them to take Uber.
Late night flights we always pick up. I think OP is being overly dramatic

[Anonymous]

It sounds like this relationship goes back a long time and there is baggage. If it were me, I wouldn't pick up. You can't storm in at midnight or later the day of Thanksgiving and expect a ride.

[Anonymous]

My parents live far from an airport and when we fly in late, they drive in earlier in the day and leave a car for us at the airport. It’s great. They don’t have to stay up late and we don’t have to spend a ton of extra money to rent a car (no Ubers or taxis where they are).

If you husband doesn’t want to stay up late, could you all leave a car for them at the airport?

[Anonymous]

I’d tell her to get a hotel near the airport and you’ll pick her up in the morning. That time of day the flight has a good chance of being late.

[Anonymous]

DO NOT DO THIS. DCA is a nightmare. You will be snarled in traffic, yes at midnight, forever. Just have him say, unfortunately I have to be up early to help cook. Go ahead and take an Uber, door will be open for you to get settled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT DO THIS. DCA is a nightmare. You will be snarled in traffic, yes at midnight, forever. Just have him say, unfortunately I have to be up early to help cook. Go ahead and take an Uber, door will be open for you to get settled.

+1

You and your DH are hosting and will be working all day on Thurs to entertain. You will both be shattered if you are up until 1 or 2 am that morning.

[Anonymous]

OP here with an update. I texted my SIL today first with a pretext about sleeping arrangements and then said “I see you’re getting in late. It would be best if you took a taxi or Uber”. She wrote back “Perfect see you soon”. Now we’ll see how this plays out …..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH's family is coming here for THanksgiving. His brother and his family (6 people total) are staying at our house. His brother's wife emailed us their flight itinerary and they arrive at DCA at 11:15pm Wednesday. She wrote only "Can you pick us up"? My DH does not want to confront her or his brother over this, but it is upsetting me that they are so inconsiderate. Now my DH will be exhausted on thanksgiving, plus they'll likely wake up the whole house when they arrive. I really want to text her "how about you take a taxi" but she'll probably take offense. This is in line with her pattern of inconsiderate behavior. What can I do?

Your husband can't handle picking someone up from the airport at 11:00pm? It will ruin his whole next day?

You poor, poor babies. I think you're the inconsiderate ones. How much money did they spend flying to visit you???

[Anonymous]

OP, when touhese plans were made, like back in August or September, why did you not inform them of your husband's fragility or your family's delicate sleep patterns back then? Why wait until this family of 6 is boarding a plane to let them know how inconvenient they will be?

[Anonymous]

Got damn I love the holidays on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH's family is coming here for THanksgiving. His brother and his family (6 people total) are staying at our house. His brother's wife emailed us their flight itinerary and they arrive at DCA at 11:15pm Wednesday. She wrote only "Can you pick us up"? My DH does not want to confront her or his brother over this, but it is upsetting me that they are so inconsiderate. Now my DH will be exhausted on thanksgiving, plus they'll likely wake up the whole house when they arrive. I really want to text her "how about you take a taxi" but she'll probably take offense. This is in line with her pattern of inconsiderate behavior. What can I do?

Your husband can't handle picking someone up from the airport at 11:00pm? It will ruin his whole next day?

You poor, poor babies. I think you're the inconsiderate ones. How much money did they spend flying to visit you???

The flight is scheduled to get in at 11:15 which means that by the time they actually deplane, potentially collect luggage and make it to the pick up point it will probably be closer to midnight (and that’s assuming no delays which is a big if the day before Thanksgiving) and then however long it takes to drive from the airport to OP’s residence. Most parents of young kids aren’t going to be excited to stay up until one in the morning waiting around at an airport when they are hosting an event the following day. I don’t understand why anyone would choose to burden their hosts like that when a ~$40 cab/Uber is an easily available option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. I texted my SIL today first with a pretext about sleeping arrangements and then said “I see you’re getting in late. It would be best if you took a taxi or Uber”. She wrote back “Perfect see you soon”. Now we’ll see how this plays out …..

If it were my family and I had said I was picking them up, I’d be really pissed at you for doing that. You don’t get to dictate how I care for my family of origin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH's family is coming here for THanksgiving. His brother and his family (6 people total) are staying at our house. His brother's wife emailed us their flight itinerary and they arrive at DCA at 11:15pm Wednesday. She wrote only "Can you pick us up"? My DH does not want to confront her or his brother over this, but it is upsetting me that they are so inconsiderate. Now my DH will be exhausted on thanksgiving, plus they'll likely wake up the whole house when they arrive. I really want to text her "how about you take a taxi" but she'll probably take offense. This is in line with her pattern of inconsiderate behavior. What can I do?

Your husband can't handle picking someone up from the airport at 11:00pm? It will ruin his whole next day?

You poor, poor babies. I think you're the inconsiderate ones. How much money did they spend flying to visit you???

The flight is scheduled to get in at 11:15 which means that by the time they actually deplane, potentially collect luggage and make it to the pick up point it will probably be closer to midnight (and that’s assuming no delays which is a big if the day before Thanksgiving) and then however long it takes to drive from the airport to OP’s residence. Most parents of young kids aren’t going to be excited to stay up until one in the morning waiting around at an airport when they are hosting an event the following day. I don’t understand why anyone would choose to burden their hosts like that when a ~$40 cab/Uber is an easily available option.

DP here. That wouldn't bother my husband in the slightest, for his family or mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it normal to pick someone up at the airport? I couldn't imagine not offering.

Not at 11:15 at night. I would only pick up my college aged kid at that time. Even DH would be on his own.

You fly in that late you’re on your own.