Inconsiderate visiting family

[Anonymous]

Can you fit them all in your vehicle(s)?

I'm normally a pick everyone up kind of host, but I couldn't physically pick up 6 people (and even if I had a second car/driver it would involve leaving small kids home alone at night so that wouldn't be an option either).

[Anonymous]

OP, as some said here, it's not always easy to get that many tickets at this time of year at a reasonable price. Also, if there are older kids, sometimes the schools run through the end of the day and not all kids can get out before the last bell.

That said, I wouldn't expect someone to pick up my family at that hour. I might ask for a ride as well as include "we can take a taxi if needed."

If they take car service, then I would spell out where they will be sleeping when they arrive. If you have little ones, then perhaps emphasize trying to keep it as quiet as possible when they arrive.

Also, if we were not expending money (and hassles) on travel, DH would probably offer to cover the cab cost.

Look, OP, my SIL and family used to arrive midnight and later for years before some big holidays. Our DCs were toddlers in the beginning and DH and I used to pray that they would not wake them up when they noisily walked up the stairs to the attic guest BRs. It was frustrating that they would only consider what worked best for their schedule, not also ours, but that feeling was momentary and we generally had a good family time. FWIW, we also traveled to them, but not late night arrivals.

[Anonymous]

They’re your husband’s family. He’s not on here complaining. You are. He can either pick them up or tell them he can’t. It’s up to him and has nothing to do with you. The complaint about the late arrival is petty AF btw.

[Anonymous]

I don't pick people up from DMV or major hub airports and especially not on the worst travel day of the year. And, especially not that late at night before Thanksgiving.

It's going to be too crazy to try to find them. The taxi stand is super easy.


I would consider picking someone up if it was some who maybe didn't have funds for cab fare and it wasn't at almost midnight before our family was hosting Thanksgiving dinner.

Also, who has room for 6 people (+1 a driver) and luggage in their car?

[Anonymous]

OP here thanks for your comments. We can fit them all in our vehicle but luggage space is an issue for sure. Reading this string I am thinking that she might not understand how easy DCA is. They're coming from an area where taxis and Ubers are not used as much and the airport is farther away. I think I'll text her and suggest it, noting how easy and quick it will be to get to our house.

Yes, someone will have to be up to let them in but that could be either me or DH dozing on the couch instead of trolling at the airport at midnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here thanks for your comments. We can fit them all in our vehicle but luggage space is an issue for sure. Reading this string I am thinking that she might not understand how easy DCA is. They're coming from an area where taxis and Ubers are not used as much and the airport is farther away. I think I'll text her and suggest it, noting how easy and quick it will be to get to our house.

Yes, someone will have to be up to let them in but that could be either me or DH dozing on the couch instead of trolling at the airport at midnight.

OP, maybe emphasize that it will be more efficient for them to take a cab/Uber because traffic can snake around the airport for hours.

-signed someone who once got stuck circling for two miserable hours. Don’t be me.

[Anonymous]

The thing is, it might actually be a blessing bc the traffic won't be bad at that hour and the airport will have quieted down. Making them Uber saves you from the drive but one of you will still have to be up to let them in and get them settled.

I would leave it up to your DH, it's his family, but if it was my family I would just pick them up. Flights are expensive and they are making the effort to fly to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't pick people up from DMV or major hub airports and especially not on the worst travel day of the year. And, especially not that late at night before Thanksgiving.

It's going to be too crazy to try to find them. The taxi stand is super easy.


I would consider picking someone up if it was some who maybe didn't have funds for cab fare and it wasn't at almost midnight before our family was hosting Thanksgiving dinner.

Also, who has room for 6 people (+1 a driver) and luggage in their car?

Someone who has enough room to also host them all.

[Anonymous]

I mean there are 6 of them, so taxis are extra expensive since you have to get a van or suv. I guess I don't see this as inconsiderate as you do. Flying is shit these days and it's hard to get flights with nice arrival times.

[Anonymous]

15:33

If you're feeling generous, you can proposed that your husband drop them off at the airport for their return flight (assuming it's not also at some ridiculous hour), but they take a taxi from the airport on Wednesday.

[Anonymous]

Ask them to take Uber or cab to your home and reimburse them.

[Anonymous]

Just send you dh and ask him to make sure they’re quiet upon arrival. We get up super early (like 5 am) and would still do an 11:15 pm pickup. Be a big boy and/or take a nap the next day. It’s not like it’s 2-3 am.

[Anonymous]

Do you need to work Thanksgiving Day? Or do you have young kids you need to be up early for? If not, I’d pick them up and be fine with them being late. Everyone should just sleep in. And if Thanksgiving dinner is a bit late, I wouldn’t sweat it.

[Anonymous]

Is this this first time you've noticed this dynamic? What is it like when you visit their homes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH's family is coming here for THanksgiving. His brother and his family (6 people total) are staying at our house. His brother's wife emailed us their flight itinerary and they arrive at DCA at 11:15pm Wednesday. She wrote only "Can you pick us up"? My DH does not want to confront her or his brother over this, but it is upsetting me that they are so inconsiderate. Now my DH will be exhausted on thanksgiving, plus they'll likely wake up the whole house when they arrive. I really want to text her "how about you take a taxi" but she'll probably take offense. This is in line with her pattern of inconsiderate behavior. What can I do?

I would have told them long ago to stay in a hotel. Six people descending on you at Thanksgiving is way too much. Too late but it isn't too late to tell them to take a cab and children will be asleep so no noise when she gets to your house at 2 am!